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Avatar universal

shud i go for a second child............confused

hi friends,
i m a 29 yr old house wife, my son is 4 yrs old now, i dont know, shud we have a second child or not.actually my previous exp. was not very good, i had  a c-section delivery and i dont want to go in those pregnancy n delivery problems once again.and the other reason is financial....here money is not a problem but some how i feel that after having second kid the expenditure will become much higher.
but some of friends adviced me to have atleast two kids for the sake of my son, otherwise he will feel lonely for his entire childhood.i m very confused, what shud i do?
plz advice.............
15 Responses
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Avatar universal
That's is something you have to ask yourself and your partner.  I have always said I do not want just one.  I've always wanted 2.  My mom confided in me that she never wanted just one.  We know a lot of people who are the only child and they seemed to be more needy or get everything that they want...so needless to say in my town (which is very small) they now think that they are better than everyone else.  It's good for a child to have a sibling to play with.  But it is your decision and your partner's decision.

***Didn't mean to offend anyone about the only child thing...from my experience that's how it is.  By no means am I saying anyone is that way if they are an only child.
Helpful - 0
433680 tn?1220545941
I never wanted any more children, my son is 7 now. My son as always asked us for a brother or sister, it was only last june/july when i started to feel that i was ready to have another baby so august i decided to come off the pill and i found out i was pregnant the begining of september, it happened very fast. We are now expecting a little girl on 26th june and our son as named her Codey Leigh.You may change your mind later on, you will know when the time is right.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Tough decision to make, and one that you both should agree on! Maybe one day you'll feel ready. Hesitation, although, does not always mean that you SHOULDN'T do something. It just means you're thinking everything through and being cautious.

I am not sure what studies say, but I have four siblings and we're a messed up family. I think a family is based upon love and respect and trust and honesty, not how many children one has. If you can build a safe, secure, loving home for more than one child and you feel ready, have another baby!

If you want your son to have a sibling so he won't be lonely later in life, then go for it! Your son will be as intelligent, caring, and respectful as you teach him... or any other child you have.
Helpful - 0
305180 tn?1279716747
If you are ready for a second child c section or not, then go for it. Its really up to you and your husband, but I am on #3 and having a c section with this one as well as my first two. Its not so bad to have more than one c section. At least after the first you know whats coming.
Helpful - 0
296076 tn?1371334474
studies show that only children actually do better than multiples.. if you don't want another don't ... don't feel pressured by anyone...
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
thanks a lot to all of u for ur valuable advice......
Helpful - 0
297280 tn?1226706405
Ultimately the decision is yours.  Do what you need to do and don't feel guilty about it.  All we can do is our best, right?  If you're worried about the socialization and making sure your child learns to share, be a team player, etc., one suggestion would be to make sure to involve him with other kids.  Like through sports, daycare, camps, mother's day out programs, clubs, hobbies, visiting family, etc.  
My husband and I do not plan to have a second child after this one.  Finances are a huge concern for us.  And I really don't physically want to go through another pregnancy.  Our ages are also an issue for us.  We are both around the age we said we wanted to be at a stopping point, not having several more.  
But like I said, the decision is yours and your husband's.  I wouldn't just decide to have other kids because people were pressuring me to.  That's a HUGE decision- physically, emotionally, financially.  No one else should decide that for you.
Helpful - 0
333144 tn?1314271378
im an ony child and hated that when i was growing up also i was thinking recently if any thing happens my mum im the only one to deal with it on my own in larger families they will have the support of each other
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
i had no brothers or sisters and never had any problems at all but i had very close relation with my cousins , hey if you want go ahead but don't do it just for your son
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
If you have any concerns about having a 2nd child, dont do it!  Its as simple as that.  YOU need to be ready for such a  life-changing event.
Helpful - 0
287246 tn?1318570063
I would have another if I were you.  Of course, this is your decision to make and not anyone else's but I do think it can be hard on a kid to be the only child.  I think having multiple children helps to teach life long lessons (to the kids) that will only help them in the future.  It helps with socialization, learning how to share, and understanding that we don't always get what we want in life.  I also think it helps when they are adults.  They will always have that person to lean on.  Someday when you and your husband get older and pass, your children would have each other.

I have a friend that is an only child.  Her parents are divorced and both have had medical problems.  I can't tell you how hard it has been on her to try to help them both separately and work.  She doesn't have anyone else to share in that responsibility.  It all falls on her.

I also have a cousin who is going through a really hard time right now.  He is an only child and my aunt regrets that so much.  She sees her son suffering emotionally and he has no one to talk to or to share this with.

As I said, the decision is yours.  I just thought I would throw those things out there just to give you something to think about.

Good luck in your decision making.....
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
actually i just want to know that, is to a single child really going to effect my son's development  n his future life?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
hi friend,
actually he thinks that we shud have second child because he is the only son of his parents and he dont want want a lonely childhood for our son like him.
Helpful - 0
494669 tn?1275362475
this is realy a decision for you and your husband, if you both feel that you want one then go for it. this is your decision to make.
Helpful - 0
458937 tn?1271194781
what does your hubby think or want?
Helpful - 0
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