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Avatar universal

somebody anybody i need a friend pls ? i dreaded this day.

I had my first pregnacy at 16 i had my son alone cus my sons dad "Nick" was to scared to man up at the time .. i tried really hard threwout my pregnsnacy to keep him involved in my sons life but he wanted no part of it .. so after months of trying months of crying months of going threw rejection . I became depressed becuase i grew up in a broken home and i had n maybe still have daddy issues ..  I gave up i had my son .. nick became invoved after 3yrs my son is now 3 but im now married and im pregnant with another man i wasnt guna b single forever ither just waiting for him to come around u kno hes crazy if he thought that .. ! Well today im 20 weeks pregnant my husbands brother and sister inlaw are leaving to germany today cuase they are in the milatary n there being deployed my sister in law was makin a bigg deal about how my husband is guna b a daddy .. so my son asked me after is benjamin my daddy too mommy i said baby benjamin is ur step daddy hes ur friend ur pal he said why is he noels daddy n my step daddy . N i said baby ur daddy is nick .. nick is ur daddy n he said no i want ben to be my daddy n i said hes ur step daddy baby n he cried n locked himself in the room now my husband is late for wrk n is talking to my son . But im upset cus i told nick my son will one day ask me if another man is hes dad n wen i say the truth it will hurt to the core of hes soul . Cus i was hurt the same way i didnt understand y another man could love me as much as i loved him n he wasnt my real dad  . It took me back to that day i asked n im cryin cus i kno my sons hurt too . My husband loves my son as hes own but he doesnt wana lie to my son and neglect him to hes real dad but now he wishes he did cus hes father only comes around every once in awhile just to play  house with whom ever hes with .. im srry this is long but it really hurts
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Avatar universal
My son is 4 I was with his dad for 4 years 3 of my sons life and he was in his life but didnt have a job or anything! So finally someone that showed me he loved me and would take care of me and love and take care of my son came in our life.....when I left him is when he got a job and still doesnt do anything but buy him toys every once in a while.....but neway my finace loves my son as his own and my son calls his sperm doaner dada and my fiance daddy....I know that he his dada prob dont like it but he should have steped up instead of letting someone else when they r old enough they will see the truth and know who the person who actually steped up!
Helpful - 0
5761111 tn?1373906251
I just cried reading this. As a mother of two sons whom have different dads and are now being raised by my daughters father I know what u are going through. My oldest just turned 9 and he says why does tony my husband love me more than Oscar hes dad. I didn't know what to say hes like I wish u would have waited for dad he calls my husband dad so he could be my real dad. I told him that he is hes dad he takes care of u and ur brother like if he was ur real dad . He does not want to do anything with oscar and my little one does not like hes father at all he says he spanks him A lot. What I've decided is I'm going to do what is best for my kids if they don't want nothing to do with their sperm donors I am not going to force them too. They don't miss them one bit they love my husband soooo much and he loves them aswell.
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Avatar universal
Aww that breaks my heart :/ but you did the right thing. He needed to know the truth about his dad. His step dad sounds wonderful and the fact that he sat down with him to explain this to him makes him even more of a dad than nick. I was adapted so to me my adaptive mom might as well be my biological mom. Its nice to know who your biological parents are but to me the people who love you and take care of you deserve to be called mom and dad
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Avatar universal
My step dad walked me threw the aisle aswell i never met my dad so it was hard to understand how my dad didnt want me in hes life  .. n i feel as i failed my son today cus it hurt him so much . He actually really thought nick was hes friend n benjamin hes dad  . He told my husband that . N my husband cried n said  that if he wants him to b hes dad he will b and infact that hes lucky cus he has 2 daddys  n my son is coming around but hes still pretty sad i just hope he will understand im not tryna hurt him in anyway shape or form ..
Helpful - 0
4503521 tn?1400858886
Aww we either way ur husband is great stepfather or biological father at the end of the day they both end with father. Nick is missing out but that's a choice he made. Be happy enjoy ur pregnancy!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Nick is his father and your husband is his dad. It takes a real man to be a dad. I'm sorry your going through this. I went through it when i was younger and my step dad raised me and he is who walked me down the aisle. I have 2 children from a previous relationship and am pregnant with my husband's baby but my older 2 say my husband is their dad bc their father is a dbag.  It is sad and breaks my heart but they have a loving role model in their life. Keep your head up mama. You will be okay.
Helpful - 0
6628393 tn?1398789276
That really ***** and is always hard on any little kid but in my opinion you did what was right. Thoughts are with you!
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