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Avatar universal

troubles...

Ok, I'm going to tell my story bc I have never felt so alone. I became friends with a guy I met about a year and a half ago...friends is really all we were, then there started to be feelings...trouble is, he had a girlfriend. he ended up telling me he loved me and I truly believed he did, I also thought I loved him. He told me over and over for about a year he was going to leave her bc we were "meant for each other" now...I'm 16 weeks pregnant with his baby and he's known since I was 5 weeks but still has,not told his gf, family, friends, nobody. He also treats me like he hates me, very up and down about the pregnancy. I guess I just need some opinions, stay away? Tell his mom? ignore him until the baby gets here? Just pretty lost and confused and hurt.
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Avatar universal
I'm in a similar situation. I was dating someone for 6 months when I got pregnant. I was supposed to be starting chiropractic school and we hadn't been together very long so I was pretty flipped out about it. He was very supportive and reassuring and I already have two children so I knew I'd be blessed with this one. Turns out he was married. He pretty much used the baby to get out of his marriage. I told him I didn't want to be with him because of the whole lying about being married thing but that I wasn't going to stop him from being a dad to thi baby. Since then he has found himself a new gf, who actually does know about the baby, but he's decided that any involvement will make it awkward for his new relationship and so he wants nothing to do with the baby now and his gf is perfectly ok with that. His family also knows and they're supporting his decision. I'm now 24 weeks and I have my up days and my down days but each day I get closer to my baby being due I feel more and more grateful. I know it's cliche but you really do have to take it one day at a time. It's not easy. You do have a tough row ahead of you but i promise you that there will be a day when you are holding your beautiful baby and every moment will have been worth it. Just hang in there.
Helpful - 0
1688492 tn?1346364370
SEE NOW I DONT LIKE THIS!!!!! I DONT PLAY GAMES WITH PEOPLE'S MIND OR FEELINGS OR ANY OF THAT!! I'D BE TELLING HIS MOM HIS FAMILY HIS FRIENDS, ID EVEN GET AHOLD OF HIS GIRL FRIEND AND TELL HER BECAUSE HE IS NOT TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY AND IT WAS OK TO CHEAT ON HIS GIRL FRIEND BUT NOW THAT YOU ARE PREGNANT HE WANTS YOU TO GO AWAY?? I DONT THINK SO!!!!!!!!!!! I KNOW A GUY THAT DID THIS SAME THING KINDS, HE ALWAYS CHEATED ON HIS GIRLFRIEND ONE NIGHT HE WANTED *** SO HAD HIS SISTER CALL HER FRIENDS AND ASK DO YOU WANT TO SLEEP WITH MY BROTHER NO STRINGS THIS ONE GIRL SAID YES OF COURSE SHE ENDED UP PREGNANT HE DIDNT TELL HIS GIRL FRIEND I BEGGED THE GIRL TO ABORT AND SHE WAS LIKE NO!!! THE GIRL FRIEND FOUND OUT WHEN THE BABY WAS ABOUT 1, OF COURSE THEY SPLIT UP AND HE DIDNT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH HIS SON FOR 5 YEARS, ITS JUST CRAZY TO ME THAT MEN ARE SUCH *** HOLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM GLAD IM MARRIED BC I COULDNT DEAL WITH STUPID MEN. YOU DEF NEED TO BE TELLING HIS SIDE BE HE AINT GOING TO AND ITS NOT FAIR TO YOU OR YOUR BABY....LOOK AT IT LIKE THIS WHETHER YOU TELL THEM NOW OR THEY FIND OUT 5 YEARS FROM NOW THEY WILL STILL SPLIT UP, IF HES NOT GOING TO B AROUND TAKE HIM FOR CHILD SUPPORT, SHE WOULD DEF FIND OUT THEN WHEN HE HAS TO GO TO COURT AND ALL
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
As for the term 'alone'.you've got a bby inside you for the next 9 months-trust when you get kicks from Inside you'll definately realise just how much you are NOT alone!lol!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi sorry about your situation,this man clearly has manipulated you,but your main priority in life is this baby.to this man,his gf and to his mum,u will always be 'the other girl',but to this baby you will be #1,you will be everything!.don't be second rated to that!also I wouldn't tell hus mum because if the father isn't stepping up...his mum is just another person and when she does find out it'll only b her sons fault.dont make yourself to b the bad 1-you Dont need to have a confession ready for anyone-u owe him nothing.just enjoy your baby that will live n respect u always!Xx
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thanks everyone...it helps to hear other peoples advice, even a total stranger. I've offered him the chance to just sign over his rights and b done with it, but he says he can't do that. I'm financially and physically able to do it alone its,just,the,point that that's not how its suppose to be. I need to just focus on the baby and take it one day at a time...he'll be the one who missed out and once the baby is here none of this will even matter...hopefully!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thanks everyone...it helps to hear other peoples advice, even a total stranger. I've offered him the chance to just sign over his rights and b done with it, but he says he can't do that. I'm financially and physically able to do it alone its,just,the,point that that's not how its suppose to be. I need to just focus on the baby and take it one day at a time...he'll be the one who missed out and once the baby is here none of this will even matter...hopefully!
Helpful - 0
3106038 tn?1346813169
And it isn't your fault. He obviously strung you along and you aren't a bad person for that. As far as his girlfriend, he made the commitment to her that he didn't keep, not you. So you shouldn't feel like a bad person.
Helpful - 0
3185867 tn?1348434443
Ur not a bad person. Ur simply a girl. And girls fall for everything guys say. Idk why we just do n it *****. I got talked into loosing my virginity at 14 by my bf who told me.he loved me.then left me.the day after he got In my pants. :( dont feel like ur the bad guy In this because ur def not girl!
Helpful - 0
3106038 tn?1346813169
That sounds like a terrible situation but if I were in it, I would tell him you aren't going to deal with his attitude cause you don't deserve it. And give him an ultimatum. Its his child and either he's going to man up and deal with it like an adult even if it makes some people (his gf) mad. And if he can't do that then the only way he will be in the child's life is through child support. Hopefully he'll see your serious and come around and if he doesn't then that is his problem and you can file for child support.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
He says he's gonna be there, but he also said a lot of other stuff that he,never followed thru with.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I know I screwed up since he has a gf, I never thought it would go as far as it did....but I feel like he manipulated me and he's a total narcissist, which I'm just now figuring out. His mom might hate me too, but ur right it is her grand baby...I feel like I'm a bad person either way really
Helpful - 0
2169899 tn?1354674056
Im sorry u have to deal with this right now,but I feel its best not to stress as u know its not good for the baby but if u are close to his mom just tell her she has a grandbaby on the way and he's not seeming interested and leave it there, hopefully that take sum stress, but also have a serious convo with him about whether or not he's gonna be there, and take it from there
Helpful - 0
3185867 tn?1348434443
She shuld no its her grandbaby. N just cuz he dnt care dnt mran she wont!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I went through a similar situation a few years ago,when I was pregnant I told the dad and he told noone (he didnt have a gf though)  I wanted to tell his family so bad but I didnt, I had my son and someone else told his mom that I had a baby and she asked him about it so thats how his family found out and didnt met our son until 4 months old due to this.  I am not sure what to tell you to do just wanted to let you know your def. not alone.  Its not fair to you because he should have to tell them but then again, you feel like they should know whats going on, so I know its a hard spot to be in :)  Keep your head up!  Message me if you wanna talk!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
She has no clue who I am...just don't feel like its fair for her to not know. I hate this!!!!!
Helpful - 0
3185867 tn?1348434443
If ur close with his mom tell her!
Helpful - 0
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