update:
Dr. Appt went well yesterday - she said to at least wait one more period before trying again because this one was so soon, she isn't sure if it was an actual 'cycle' or not. test results came back, no abnormalities from Levi, perfectly healthy baby. Said some babies just aren't made for developing past a certain time, or outside out bodies :(
true.
this Dr is continuing her practice in Hamilton, ON after this month anyways, so i'll need to see someone else next pregnancy anyways.
Ribaby, I'd wait for the pathology results to make any kind of decisions right now. It sounds like your daughter had a different father than your boyfriend?
And now you've had 3 miscarriages in a row with your boyfriend. The first two aren't as big a concern since they were early, but you had a 14 week apparently perfect little baby who died. I wouldn't want to try to get pregnant again without answers about what happened to that baby so you can try to prevent it in the future.
I'd also switch doctors. It's understandable that you have anger about this doctor's smiling at you, but I think you're focusing your grief and loss as anger at this doctor. I wouldn't keep a doctor that I was planning to go against - and in fact, she may decline to take you as a patient if she realizes you won't take her advice.
Best wishes on getting the answers you need to proceed.
Im so sorry for your loss and theres no words anyone could ever say to less the hurt. I lost my baby boy 1/2/14 I was 7 months and 21 days and we just had an u/s a couple days before and heard the heartbeat and I remember the doctor specifically saying "the heartbeat sounds PERFECT" well I hadnt felt my baby boy and I immediately knew something was wrong so we went in for a non stress test at the hospital and everything happend so fast, at the time we had no car and even though we only live 5 minutes from the hospital we walked there in a BLIZZARD , anyways we wernt even there for a hour and had a emergency ultrasound and doctors came in to tell us that our son was in cardiac arrest and there was fluid around him causing him to swell and that they would normally have me get transferred immediately to boston (im on cape cod) due to there better equipment for this situation but the weather was to bad. So they decided to do the emergency c section there and hope for the best and that my baby boy probably wouldnt make it. My life has never went so fast and so slow at the same time :( I kept thinkin no this cant happen theres no way that he wont not be okay , he will be fine he has to be !!! Well he came out at 6:15pm that night 3 lbs 15 ounces and 15 inches long and he never took a breath on his own, they tried for 45 minutes to get him breathing and nothing. When they told me I remember my boyfriend sobbing and me just looking straight ahead and no having any emotion. To me my world just ended and I felt so numb. Its the hardest thing I ever went through. And its still hard. Always will be hard. And I apologize you went through what you did and im sorry no one should ever feel the pain and loss of their child. I felt so empty , my tummy, my arms and my heart. My baby boy is gone. And I yearned to be pregnant again. They told me to wait 6 months to a year to heal . Me and my boyfriend didnt know what to think. Well we fell pregnant again 3 months later, the doctors wernt to thrilled but im now 26 weeks pregnant and due in January :-) hunny do what you feel is right. Idk of you beleive in god or that everything happens for a reason but if you dowhats roght in your heart then eeverything will be fine. I wish you luck and it might take you longer then what you expected, it might not. It will happen though. I wish I could hug you lol and its such a blessing to be pregnant again and I cherish every moment more than before but holy cow it is stressful!! But youll get through this , keep your head up , you are a strong momma and do what you feel is right. :-) goodluck
thank you for your kind words
I up one morning feeling as though I had to poop and so I went into the bathroom. I tried and I pushed really hard my water broke I started bleeding heavy I was the only one home my boyfriend was at work. Well I was only 16 weeks I was suppose to have my Dr appointment the next day to find out what I was having. Thursday June 12 2014 I went into the er told them what was happening. I was in the er for about 2 hours than they took me back to get a u/s the u/s tec wouldn't say anything she wasn't allowed. I get back to my room in the er they come and look at me again and then they tell me I'm so sorry your having a miscarriage. I started to scream like I was dying.. I was the only one there trying to get someone to come. They moved up to the delivery room than my mom step dad best friend who is considered a sister and my boyfriend show up they told me I had to deliver my baby. At 16 weeks I never thought I'd have to do this. I didn't think it was possible to have a miscarriage at 16weeks well before I delivered they let me have my ultrasound and hear the heart beat my son my son!!!! That's what I wanted a boy.. well how is this a miscarriage and my baby's still alive I was heart broken why did this happen. Well I had my son on June 12 at 8:16pm we named him Cooper he is my world even though he didn't survive we put him to rest in the cemetery with my grandma. He still to this day is with me I think about him everyday. I went into a depression after I had him. Well I am now 10 weeks pregnant and everything is ok I won't be okay until I am in the delivery room on May 15 2015 for this baby and know he or she is okay. My dear Cooper was healthy and they have no idea why this happened to him but sometimes god knows best even though it's not far and I cry for my son I know he is in a better place and safe and won't get hurt. Think of all the positvies. You will have another one when it's the right time.
I didnt miscarry in 2nd tri i miscarried at 8 wks i had a D&C & my dr told me i was aloud to starrt trying again after i had my period .. after i had my period my dr gave me medication to help me get preg again 3 mos later i was preg my my beautiful son who is now 1 .. im so sorry for your loss ! It is the worse feeling in the world being told ur baby all of a sudden has no heartbeat just reading ur story made me super emotional because as u said nothing is worse then being told u lost your precious baby .. some drs say not to try again for a bit so ur body can heal but i think its mainly to give u time for u to try to mentally keep it togeth which .. no matter how long u wait ur still gonna worry ! If u feel ur ready i think u should go ahead and start trying again ! Good luck ! I will be praying for you !!!
it's only been 5wks but it seems as if time isn't progressing at all.
Vmcgary, when you started to try again, did you conceive before your next period?
I'm thinking if I wait one more cycle, that will put me at the middle of November for next period, and then we'd know by Christmas if we were pregnant.
keep in mind the previous two miscarriages I tried and we only had intercourse once during that cycle and got pregnant each time.
So sorry for your loss. I lost my first child when i was 13 weeks along all i eanted was a baby. Me and my husband started trying again after 2 months. i got pregant with my daughter and it was a rough pregncy i was put on bed rest. you have to go with what your heart tells you os right.
Smae, even with waiting did you find that everyday feels like a milestone? I'm afraid of waiting, and then getting my hopes up for another pregnancy and feeling everything will be fine, just to be going through this again. You know? At least now, the pain of losing him is still there, so if I were to get pregnant and it end in heartbreak again, it would in turn 'soften the blow' I guess? Ugh, my mind is all over.. I change it everyday.
thank you Micracle.
We were just SO excited when I started my period, thinking that waiting until it was done meant we could start trying again.
After my D&C I felt fine physically. And haven't had any issues. So I don't know what to do. This makes my heart ache even more :(
I'm so sorry for your loss and for what your going through!
In short, you just went through a very tragic event that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Events such as these need time to heal. I think you should wait it out for at least 3 months. I waited just about a year, I'm now 22 weeks pregnant with another baby boy and I couldn't be happier. in hindsight, I'm glad I waited.