About a Potential Relationship

[sunscreen_gr]

Dear all,

I met with a girl during my vacation (mid Aug). We did not have the chance to meet for a fortnight or so though the communication was fluent. Then we went out for dinner (it was awesome) and two days later with her friends for drinks. And then silence, I tried to communcate though she was somewhat distant. She had some sporadic communication signs from me ... Then the communication became fluent again! Went out (again with her friends with her initiation) last Sat (04/10). Text her on Sun for thanks.

Well these above are facts. I am a little bit confused... I assume that she is either sepparated lately or she is in a relationship...

I really need to find out whether she is willing to be in a relationship or not. I think she had her time to think, almost 2 months... And she knows that I need a relationship with her, I show it to her indirectly.

How should I react? Should I wait for a while with same attitude or should I clear things up?

Thanks in advance,
Sun

[sunscreen_gr]

Hi again,

She called me today just saying hi... during the conversation I asked her what she does look for at this point of her life. I mentioned that before adking that I am single for more than two years and the reason is that I needed to realise several things and needed to have a great life as a single before going to a relationship. She told me that she was almost married this summer and at the end she skipped, now she needs some time to recover/heal. She also mentioned that she has great time with me. Well at least she is honest and basicaly 'apologised' in her away not saying it beforehand.

She has good qualities in her life and we both have same backgrounds and life experiences. I am not sure how it will be at the end though I would love to know her better (told her on the phone).

Any thoughts on these?

Thanks,
Sun

[sunscreen_gr]

Judy,

It seems that her behaviour is indeed reckless, though this is not the main issue... I mean who has not done that at her or his life. What worries me is the content of her call, she will call me at some point - well 90%, and how I shall react. Possibly I ll accept her invitation, if there is one, only if it is an intimate one. And of course I shall not invite her again! That's for sure...

I ll update you when she ll update me... hehe...

[Judy246]

Let's go back to "fact"....you extended an invitation and once again she was hesitant and will call you within a week. Within a week?  Why so long?  If she was interested in you, she would have said, "I will make the arrangements now to leave early and I look forward to seeing you again"...so, once again, proceed with caution. If she does not call you this time, that's it!!!  I don't know her, but after all this, I don't like her (lol) and you deserve to be treated better.  Judy

[sunscreen_gr]

First of all, thanks all for your thoughts and advices...When I am moody I listen to this song :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQlJ3vOp6nI

Facts:
I called her today asking her out through an oral message, she texted me back telling me that she had to work (she works with children that have dyslexia and indeed had some on going lessons) and told me that she will call me to do smt within the week...

imanaddict:
I did that for a while, 10 days or so when she were distant ... so i shall not do that again

mami1323:
On Sat a friend of hers was chatting with a guy and asked me what do I think of them... I replied what about us... what are her thoughts, with no actual reply ... she told me that she doesnt know (yet?) ... I stopped that saying that she was beautiful ;) ... So I tried and I didnt get the answer.

Judy246:
I think i ll stick with your advice... if she wanted she had plenty of time to explore the situation and she did not! If she call me I ll go out only if we are JUST the two of us... and she has just one call... that will be the saturation point!

Thanks all, it is a fruitfull conversation (up to now)...

[Judy246]

sorry, I meant, "where you can easily put this "inconvenience" behind you"...

[Judy246]

Although you were with her 7 hours, it was not alone, it was with friends, dinner alone was nice, but back with friends. I just don't want this girl using you for outings at your expense and then hesistant or out of site for a while. Something is not right and it's very early on this situation (not relationship), where you can easily but this inconvenience behind you and move forward.  Judy

[mami1323]

Why don't you just come out and ask this girl what her intentions are?  I don't think any of us could really know what's going on with her.  She will tell you the truth or she won't but if she is acting strange one minute and fine the next than there is something going on with her.  I like consistency in my relationship, so if you feel like you're not getting that, then move on.  

[imanaddict]

I agree with Judy! there are several red flags and just one is enough to not pursue this girl. If I were you, I'd back off a bit and see what happens.

[sunscreen_gr]

... though last Sat was not just a drink. We were 7 hours together with friends, we all met, then we had a late dinner alone and went to join the others later one... ;) ... Thats why I am confused!!!

[sunscreen_gr]

Judy thanks indeed for clearing things up for me ;) It is true that she is hesitant. I was thinking of asking her today going to the movies (possibly the last call) but after your comments I am not sure what I am going to do.  Maybe I call, maybe I dont ... though your comments will be in the back of my mind ... I am old enough to retire when the time is right ...

Thanks again,
Sun

[Judy246]

one more thought, if whey you extend an invitation to dinner, drinks, etc, and she initiates her friends to come along, that means she does not want to be alone with you and put in a situation that she really is not interested. I hope all the above helps and, their is this great girl right around the corner that is just dying to meet you, but it's just not this one.  Judy

[Judy246]

After carefully reading your post, proceed with caution. Here is why:
.
* Simply not interested
* Coming out of a relationship (rebound)
* In a relationship
* Does not want to be in a committed/exclusive relationship at this point.

The red flags are all around her and if she was truly interested in pursuing a relationship with you, it would have happened naturally and by now. You are still hesitant after 2 months and I really think you should move on to the next conquest :)  Judy