Age difference!

[Phoopibear]

bottom line, im 18 and hes 26 turning 27 next month (weve been together for 5 mnths) and my entire family doesnt approve... but were very much in love, i just cant take the pressure, judgment and disprove from my family, what should i do? im almost ready to move in with him just to stand up to my parents and show them that i can make my own choices... any tips?

[shell921]

Phoopi-I told you the story about when I was 15 my best friend began sneak dating a guy 24. She got pregnant and had to drop out of high school and marry this guy. Her poor parents were so upset. My friend and her husband had 2 kids and lasted about 8 years together and then they divorced. Then she and her then EX-husband had many bitter battles over custody and her life was hell-ish for many years! Both the kids were damaged as a result - in my opinion. Maybe as special mom says I am "overgeneralizing" about 28 year old men. I just have never seen an emotionally mature "together" man over age 25 with an 18 year old girl. I haven't seen everything of course but I am a lot older than 18 and I have been around and seen a lot. Each case of a man
over age 25 with a teen age girl that I have EVER seen, the man is emotionally immature. So that's just my opinion and I could be wrong. You ask why can't you mature together - well, perhaps you can--perhaps you can grow together. But realize you change a lot between age 18 and age 28. When you reach age 28 and your man is 38 you may have emotionally outgrown him. So the odds are against growing together. You'll bypass him. You are just so young right now to toss your future into such an uncertain and risky situation. Just my opinion. Why are you limiting yourself? When i was 18 I was in college and preparing for my future. i dated several guys in college--not all at the same time but one after the other. It helped me learn about myself and grow a lot more than if i had limited myself to just one man. Don't limit yourself. The years 18-28 are the best growth years for self-learning. Get an education that will prepare you for making your own way in this world and date for fun with men your own age.

[specialmom]

Again shell, I'm careful not to overgeneralize.

[Phoopibear]

I WOULD NOT*** LEAVE HIM! that was an error, I would not leave him is what I ment to say

[Phoopibear]

That could be it... He was basically abandoned by his family as a teenager. He was "under loved" by them and left the house by 16. After he dropped out of school and got his GED, he was unable to go straight into college so he worked his butt off. He has even told me that he feels that he hasnt changed as much as he should have since he was about 18. because he started college at 25 and now me meeting him a year later. He also mentions that all of this has to do with him growing up and his childhood and teenage years. He hasnt had many good relationships with girls and at times I feel like i bring out the more mature and better side of him because Im pretty mature myself in my personal life besides some of my bad choices... But all of what your saying is no surprise to me, I fell in love with this guy and I would leave him just because someone thinks hes incapable at being an adult. he handles his "****" he has a license, a car, his own apartment, a job, plays football, and works out daily, he knows what he wants in life and where he wants to be... and that's what counts right? Why cant we mature further together? is that wrong?

[shell921]

If a 28 year old man finds an 18 year old GIRL intellectually interesting then the man has a case of arrested development. Of course most 28 year old men would love to have SEX with 18 year old girls - I'm not saying they don't. All I am saying is that if a 28 year old man is with an 18 year old it's most likely that he is emotionally immature or not that smart or BOTH.

[Phoopibear]

Will do thank you!