Aa
Are women turned off by this?
A few years ago my left testicle had cancer so it was taken out. They caught it in time so I'm totally cured. I'm getting by just fine with only my right testicle now, I have normal erections and strong orgasms when I masturbate. But here's the thing: a side effect of having that surgery back then is a condition called "retrograde ejaculation". That means no fluid or ejaculate comes out like it normally should when an orgasm happens.
It's been years since having that surgery. I masturbate like normal but I haven't had sex yet because I don't know how important it is to ejaculate for a woman. (1) Does she really like or need to see ejaculation fluid coming out when she's masturbating her boyfriend, or (2) for her to feel ejaculate inside her when during sex, or even (3) to have it fill her mouth and taste it in the case of oral sex? I would like to know to what extent the production and delivery of ejaculation fluid is important to the average woman. And if it would really turn her of if there wasn't any, even though everything else outside that is normal and would be obvious he was feeling an orgasm. Because I can't deliver any at all! It worries me.
It's been years since having that surgery. I masturbate like normal but I haven't had sex yet because I don't know how important it is to ejaculate for a woman. (1) Does she really like or need to see ejaculation fluid coming out when she's masturbating her boyfriend, or (2) for her to feel ejaculate inside her when during sex, or even (3) to have it fill her mouth and taste it in the case of oral sex? I would like to know to what extent the production and delivery of ejaculation fluid is important to the average woman. And if it would really turn her of if there wasn't any, even though everything else outside that is normal and would be obvious he was feeling an orgasm. Because I can't deliver any at all! It worries me.
Thank you very much, thatquietgirl. Now I get it, what you explained makes better sense. I guess I overthink sometimes. Isn't it funny how we often interpret things in negative ways that work against us, when really the opposite is true? What a woman thinks and says is so powerful, whether a guy admits it or not. That is always the case. In fact, women is why we get up in the morning. Work hard and fight, try to advance and get ahead.
Only in a selfhelp forum like this can a guy hope to get the truth, figure out what's important to a woman vs. what's not. I'm glad I took a chance here, bared my soul and explained what was bothering me so much. Everything you just said, and the other women too in the messages before you, is amazing and positive and empowering!
So much so I best not let what I have learned get to me so much as to make me feel too confident now and swell up my head (no pun intended).
Really girls, you're GREAT! In my best Elvis voice I say to you sincerely, one and all... "You're beautiful! Thank you. Thank you vary much."
Only in a selfhelp forum like this can a guy hope to get the truth, figure out what's important to a woman vs. what's not. I'm glad I took a chance here, bared my soul and explained what was bothering me so much. Everything you just said, and the other women too in the messages before you, is amazing and positive and empowering!
So much so I best not let what I have learned get to me so much as to make me feel too confident now and swell up my head (no pun intended).
Really girls, you're GREAT! In my best Elvis voice I say to you sincerely, one and all... "You're beautiful! Thank you. Thank you vary much."
Thanks Nighthawk61. Wow that really makes me feel great! Your comments completely reverse my self doubts. I can't thank you enough for that! Suddenly I am empowered!
I think by "some would feel less," she was meaning that some might feel THEY are less, not that they are turned off by it but rather that they would be worried THEY were not doing it for you and that THEY were not enough to please you. Most women would probably prefer little mess. Many women hate the taste of semen, so it would be a huge turn-on to most. Personally, I would like that benefit and I would like the lack of mess after sex. As said by someone above, we don't feel the ejaculatory fluid being expelled during sex. I don't have much opinion about not seeing any on a hand job.
I would wonder and ask about why it was if I happened to get in a relationship with someone who didn't ejaculate, but once I knew it was a medical condition, it wouldn't be important to me. I would just be glad the person was alright and alive and be glad I had the opportunity to meet them and be with them.
I would wonder and ask about why it was if I happened to get in a relationship with someone who didn't ejaculate, but once I knew it was a medical condition, it wouldn't be important to me. I would just be glad the person was alright and alive and be glad I had the opportunity to meet them and be with them.
I'm so glad that you've gotten so many valued responses here.
My late husband was a juvenile diabetic that also had no semen, and it was "neat" as Anniebrooke suggested. In fact, we had a lot more sex than if he did ejaculate, because it wasn't necessary for me to bath every time we had intimate moments. It was the difference to having one session, and then a bath, or being able to have more than one session on any given day.
I remarried after i lost my late husband and my current husband does ejaculate. I was working 12 hours shifts building vans for a few years and during that time , specifically because of the mess of ejaculation, our sex life was almost non existent, and reflected badly on our relationship for those years. I didn't want to have sex, before i had a bath after working 12 hours.. And after my bath, i didn't want to have sex , because that would mean i'd have to have to have two baths before getting back to work again.
So i think it's a huge bonus that you don't ejaculate, especially to women that are a little older and have highly prioritized work, kids etc. You're good to go my friend. IT'S DEFINITELY A PLUS PLUS PLUS TO HAVE YOUR CONDITION. I'm so glad to hear that you beat cancer. and it's a pleasure to read your comments. I hope you stick around here.
My late husband was a juvenile diabetic that also had no semen, and it was "neat" as Anniebrooke suggested. In fact, we had a lot more sex than if he did ejaculate, because it wasn't necessary for me to bath every time we had intimate moments. It was the difference to having one session, and then a bath, or being able to have more than one session on any given day.
I remarried after i lost my late husband and my current husband does ejaculate. I was working 12 hours shifts building vans for a few years and during that time , specifically because of the mess of ejaculation, our sex life was almost non existent, and reflected badly on our relationship for those years. I didn't want to have sex, before i had a bath after working 12 hours.. And after my bath, i didn't want to have sex , because that would mean i'd have to have to have two baths before getting back to work again.
So i think it's a huge bonus that you don't ejaculate, especially to women that are a little older and have highly prioritized work, kids etc. You're good to go my friend. IT'S DEFINITELY A PLUS PLUS PLUS TO HAVE YOUR CONDITION. I'm so glad to hear that you beat cancer. and it's a pleasure to read your comments. I hope you stick around here.
Thanks AnnieBrooke. I’ll look into it. Sounds extreme but assuming she would want to go forward, have kids, I’d do it if that’s what it takes to become a father.
Hi RockRose: I appreciate your input. Wow this just keeps getting better and better as I read along. I guess it’s true what I’ve always known or suspected, women in general just somehow know so much, are great communicators, honest and direct.
Your ‘selling point’ comment makes me feel like a winner instead of being somehow compromised or flawed. How cool! Thank you.
Your point about having the right priorities is well taken. What you’re saying is true but it would only apply to me if she turns out to be significantly younger. Could happen I guess. If that’s what fate has in store I’m down with it, and yes it would change my priorities about everything. I guess I’d have to grow up. And I would!
Thank you for your well-wishing. The observation your closing words convey is awesome – disarming and comforting. You rock, Rose.
BTW what is TOS and TMI, some kind of female code? J/K. Thanks again.
Your ‘selling point’ comment makes me feel like a winner instead of being somehow compromised or flawed. How cool! Thank you.
Your point about having the right priorities is well taken. What you’re saying is true but it would only apply to me if she turns out to be significantly younger. Could happen I guess. If that’s what fate has in store I’m down with it, and yes it would change my priorities about everything. I guess I’d have to grow up. And I would!
Thank you for your well-wishing. The observation your closing words convey is awesome – disarming and comforting. You rock, Rose.
BTW what is TOS and TMI, some kind of female code? J/K. Thanks again.
Hi AnnieBrooke: Thank you very much for your response and the highly valued information you conveyed!
Surgical fix: I’m definitely going to look into the surgical fix you mentioned. Kids or no kids it would still be worth it if it turns out to be a low risk straightforward procedure. Because while my orgasms are normal and intense and I’m grateful for them, the internal sensation of semen flowing along whatever the pathway is that moves it along and until suddenly shooting out is a subtle sensation I kind of miss. But I’m not complaining and really glad how other than that everything else works great 100%.
Alleluia!: More importantly, I cannot tell you how relieved I am to find out how most women probably are not excited by the sight of semen, can’t feel ejaculate coming into the vagina, so it’s absence isn’t an issue. And how the pulsing penis is way more important, which mine really does a lot even though nothing comes out. God what a relief to know this!!! It takes away major worries I previously had. Everything you say makes sense.
Porn: It’s interesting how what you see on porn gives you impressions about what women like, don’t like, etc. that are really distorted and false. Thank you for that insight! I’m sure you’re right about how oral sex is a very individualized thing. My guess is far and few between are the women who actually enjoy the taste of semen. We all do weird things sometimes when very young and growing up. Well I remember a very long time ago tasting my own once just out of curiosity. It was gross! So later as an adult, it didn’t surprised me how even in most porn video’s you can just tell that she’s faking liking it when a guy comes in her mouth and she pretends to like it.
From the heart: Aside from all that though, I just want to say thank you Annie, for the very supportive things you said, either directly or from what I could detect and feel embedded in your text. You seem to be a really terrific person and a very understanding, compassionate woman. Wow, I sure hope I luck out and come across someone with those same qualities someday. Your message really makes me feel great. I’m smiling.
Surgical fix: I’m definitely going to look into the surgical fix you mentioned. Kids or no kids it would still be worth it if it turns out to be a low risk straightforward procedure. Because while my orgasms are normal and intense and I’m grateful for them, the internal sensation of semen flowing along whatever the pathway is that moves it along and until suddenly shooting out is a subtle sensation I kind of miss. But I’m not complaining and really glad how other than that everything else works great 100%.
Alleluia!: More importantly, I cannot tell you how relieved I am to find out how most women probably are not excited by the sight of semen, can’t feel ejaculate coming into the vagina, so it’s absence isn’t an issue. And how the pulsing penis is way more important, which mine really does a lot even though nothing comes out. God what a relief to know this!!! It takes away major worries I previously had. Everything you say makes sense.
Porn: It’s interesting how what you see on porn gives you impressions about what women like, don’t like, etc. that are really distorted and false. Thank you for that insight! I’m sure you’re right about how oral sex is a very individualized thing. My guess is far and few between are the women who actually enjoy the taste of semen. We all do weird things sometimes when very young and growing up. Well I remember a very long time ago tasting my own once just out of curiosity. It was gross! So later as an adult, it didn’t surprised me how even in most porn video’s you can just tell that she’s faking liking it when a guy comes in her mouth and she pretends to like it.
From the heart: Aside from all that though, I just want to say thank you Annie, for the very supportive things you said, either directly or from what I could detect and feel embedded in your text. You seem to be a really terrific person and a very understanding, compassionate woman. Wow, I sure hope I luck out and come across someone with those same qualities someday. Your message really makes me feel great. I’m smiling.
Hi specialmom (cute ID) thank you for your kindness and thoughtful comments. I sincerely appreciate your honesty, I needed to hear it from a woman, the only point of view that matters.
About kids: I’m actually beyond the age when most guys start families. But because I never had kids they had me masturbate into a big vial on several occasions prior to surgery, as a down the road back up, just in case. They take it and store it really cold so it keeps for years. So there’s that. I used to wonder how much I missed out on by focusing only on work and career throughout the years, never having kids. I probably would’ve enjoyed being a father but that’s water under the bridge I guess. If I meet a woman who’s "age appropriate" it’s not an issue - she probably already had her kids. It’s unlikely, but if somehow I wind up with a woman who’s still in child bearing years and she wants to have a kid between us, then I just hope she doesn’t mind going in to the clinic and letting them get her pregnant with my sperm, however they do that. I know...not very romantic eh. And what are the odds.
About Sex: I’m glad to read something you said because yes, it’s true. I totally enjoy sex; need it want it crave it got to have it, a lot of it and soon (it’s been so long) because I swear, if I go much longer without it I will spontaneously combust. I totally have great erections, can do the job and get it done right. Heck no, not a problem. But I guess what is a problem is how it apparently would bother or disappoint some women if they didn’t get an observable emission during whatever sex act is going on. So it’s true, it’s a turn-off, and they would feel they’re settling for something less if they were stuck with a guy who can’t ejaculate. Dang it, I thought so. I was afraid of that.
Doesn’t Make Sense: In a way I don’t get it. Really I don’t. Because to me, when I used to ejaculate, I always thought of it as a sticky mess. An inconvenience even. I mean if it’s not about trying to get a woman pregnant, obviously. For instance, if you get it on her, or wherever else it lands, and you don’t clean it up right away, it dries to a gross crusty mass. Yuck. Sorry for being so graphic, but that’s exactly why I thought my condition would be a plus, not a minus. So there must be something I just don’t understand.
“Some”: Sorry this is so long of a post. One last question…about when you said “it would bother some” and “Some may feel 'less”. Do you think it would be more accurate to replace the word ‘some’ with the word ‘many’ or ‘most’. Sorry for asking, I’m not questioning your veracity, was just wondering if you were you using the word ‘some’ just to be nice. Because to be ruthlessly honest and tell me the way it really is, you maybe thought is being insensitive and too discouraging. Sorry just had to ask because I really want to know.
Thank you very much! Can tell you really must be a special mom.
About kids: I’m actually beyond the age when most guys start families. But because I never had kids they had me masturbate into a big vial on several occasions prior to surgery, as a down the road back up, just in case. They take it and store it really cold so it keeps for years. So there’s that. I used to wonder how much I missed out on by focusing only on work and career throughout the years, never having kids. I probably would’ve enjoyed being a father but that’s water under the bridge I guess. If I meet a woman who’s "age appropriate" it’s not an issue - she probably already had her kids. It’s unlikely, but if somehow I wind up with a woman who’s still in child bearing years and she wants to have a kid between us, then I just hope she doesn’t mind going in to the clinic and letting them get her pregnant with my sperm, however they do that. I know...not very romantic eh. And what are the odds.
About Sex: I’m glad to read something you said because yes, it’s true. I totally enjoy sex; need it want it crave it got to have it, a lot of it and soon (it’s been so long) because I swear, if I go much longer without it I will spontaneously combust. I totally have great erections, can do the job and get it done right. Heck no, not a problem. But I guess what is a problem is how it apparently would bother or disappoint some women if they didn’t get an observable emission during whatever sex act is going on. So it’s true, it’s a turn-off, and they would feel they’re settling for something less if they were stuck with a guy who can’t ejaculate. Dang it, I thought so. I was afraid of that.
Doesn’t Make Sense: In a way I don’t get it. Really I don’t. Because to me, when I used to ejaculate, I always thought of it as a sticky mess. An inconvenience even. I mean if it’s not about trying to get a woman pregnant, obviously. For instance, if you get it on her, or wherever else it lands, and you don’t clean it up right away, it dries to a gross crusty mass. Yuck. Sorry for being so graphic, but that’s exactly why I thought my condition would be a plus, not a minus. So there must be something I just don’t understand.
“Some”: Sorry this is so long of a post. One last question…about when you said “it would bother some” and “Some may feel 'less”. Do you think it would be more accurate to replace the word ‘some’ with the word ‘many’ or ‘most’. Sorry for asking, I’m not questioning your veracity, was just wondering if you were you using the word ‘some’ just to be nice. Because to be ruthlessly honest and tell me the way it really is, you maybe thought is being insensitive and too discouraging. Sorry just had to ask because I really want to know.
Thank you very much! Can tell you really must be a special mom.
RockRose, I'd play on the no-semen-in-the-mouth team also. All throb no gag.
I would not in fact think the children issue is a big one, since if necessary there are procedures by which sperm can be drawn directly from the gentleman's area using a needle, I've heard. Sorry if that makes you wince, oneb'dman. But it might not be necessary to go that route if surgery is available to reposition the tube so it does not redirect back into the scrotal area.
I would not in fact think the children issue is a big one, since if necessary there are procedures by which sperm can be drawn directly from the gentleman's area using a needle, I've heard. Sorry if that makes you wince, oneb'dman. But it might not be necessary to go that route if surgery is available to reposition the tube so it does not redirect back into the scrotal area.
Speaking only for myself, oral sex without a lot of ejaculate would certainly be a selling point. Hope that wasn't a violation of TOS or TMI.
I think you need to address whether or not you can still have children, if that's something you are interested in.
That question would far outweigh any other concerns I'd have with a guy in your situation.
Best wishes. I think men often worry about things that women don't care about at all - and probably vice versa.
I think you need to address whether or not you can still have children, if that's something you are interested in.
That question would far outweigh any other concerns I'd have with a guy in your situation.
Best wishes. I think men often worry about things that women don't care about at all - and probably vice versa.
Also, my question would be whether this retrograde ejaculation would be something that can be surgically addressed. I know in the case of men who just have it (not because of cancer but because of a mis-directed duct that they were born with), doctors can do a surgery and fix it.
Regarding whether a woman is excited by the sight of semen, I would guess that it wouldn't matter to most. It's made a big deal of in porn movies, but that is largely because men want to see it so they can compare or for whatever reason, hate to say. Not because women are turned on by it. Regarding whether a woman finds it exciting to feel the ejaculate coming into the vagina during intercourse, since it is body temperature, she doesn't feel it. She feels the pulses of the penis, but not the liquid. (Also, there are no nerves in the top third of the vagina anyway.) As far as the question of whether a woman who likes oral sex would want the feel or taste of the semen, well, that one is probably really individualized. I would guess that if a woman loved you and liked your relationship and knew you had had cancer surgery, whether or not she got a mouthful of semen every now and then would not matter a damn to her even if she ordinarily did like it. There are also plenty of women who would think a guy who ejaculates but doesn't leave a mess in her mouth or her lady parts is a really neat guy.
Regarding whether a woman is excited by the sight of semen, I would guess that it wouldn't matter to most. It's made a big deal of in porn movies, but that is largely because men want to see it so they can compare or for whatever reason, hate to say. Not because women are turned on by it. Regarding whether a woman finds it exciting to feel the ejaculate coming into the vagina during intercourse, since it is body temperature, she doesn't feel it. She feels the pulses of the penis, but not the liquid. (Also, there are no nerves in the top third of the vagina anyway.) As far as the question of whether a woman who likes oral sex would want the feel or taste of the semen, well, that one is probably really individualized. I would guess that if a woman loved you and liked your relationship and knew you had had cancer surgery, whether or not she got a mouthful of semen every now and then would not matter a damn to her even if she ordinarily did like it. There are also plenty of women who would think a guy who ejaculates but doesn't leave a mess in her mouth or her lady parts is a really neat guy.
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Hi there and welcome. Well, I'm really glad you are cured of your cancer! That's the most important thing. Do you know if you are able to have children? I guess it would bother some women and not others if you didn't have an emission of sperm in terms of the act of sex. If you enjoy sex, crave it, have erections and can perform sexually . . . that would be great for a lot of women. Some may feel 'less than' if they didn't see the emission of sperm. But, my question regarding fertility is an important one in terms of impact this could have on partners. Do you know the answer to this?
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