Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

Boyfriend hiding things from me

I’ve noticed that my boyfriend has been distant when I was around 4-5  months pregnant and he did not want to have sex with me anymore he would push me away tell me to go home would not kiss me stopped calling me always found excuses to not FaceTime anymore. But the moment he wanted to go to him and I couldn’t be there fast he’d get mad. He distanced himself so much and when we moved in he still would not have sex with me and he would call me fat and a whale. He was always acting weird. So I thought he was cheating on me because he didn’t want anything of mine in his car. I’ve gone through his phone a few times and he would search girls on face book specially certain ones on different days. Including my sister. It broke my heart. Then I saw he watched porn everyday he still does and the thing that bugs me is that he is sneaky about it when I’ve told him that I’m ok with it. But recently he takes selfies and is so into getting in shape and googles my girlfriend is into bondage and we hardly ever have sex. I know that he is not into me because if he was he wouldn’t push me away. I keep thinking he is cheating. Then if i try and talk to him about the things that bother me he gets so defensive and tells me he does not give a f***. To deal with it. I’m so blind i just need some advice it’s killing me .
3 Responses
973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Argh.  Men!!  Sometimes they are hard to deal with.  Calling you a whale and fat when you are pregnant is NOT okay---  not okay any time, pregnant or not.  That's being mean and hurtful.  I'd consider he is not a good catch just from that.  Truly.

There are men that are a bit weirded out by the sex during pregnancy thing.  They worry they'll hurt the baby (as if) or have a hard time separating baby making mama from sexy mama.  I try to cut guys some slack here.  They go through a lot during pregnancy too emotionally.  

But . . .  your guy is different than that.  I think searching up facebook pages isn't something to say someone is cheating.  I look at random people's pages all the time. People just do that.  So, don't try to read too much into that.  But if he is texting girls, sending selfies, going out a lot, etc . . .  well.  I guess you have to go with your gut.  And that he isn't all that nice to you . . .  I think I'd go with your gut anyway.  

But you are having or had a baby with him?  That's so hard.  You'll forever be tied to him because of that.  I hope he rises to the occasion and is a good dad.  

Anyway, what are you thinking?  Are you considering leaving or just asking us if he is cheating?  I can't say he's acted on cheating but seems to be leaving options open.  But mostly, I just see a guy that takes you for granted and isn't that nice to you and you deserve better.  hugs
1 Comments
I agree.
3060903 tn?1398565123
It sounds like he and you have only gotten together for the sake of the baby. It sounds like he thinks he's settling, juas as you are, living with a man ho obviously has no respect for women. And please don't think that he respects women that are average weight, he's usiing women for his sexual gratification. He might call it 'love" to convince a women to service him sexually. He sunds very selfish and very predictable, What you see is what you get, because this man sounds very shallow, not very deep, not very capable of being anywhere near what you would call  a good catch.
I think you need to have respect for yourself and plan on another option for raising your child. It would be counterproductive to invite a man into your life and home and have them teach your child to disrespect women. Whether you're having a boy or a girl, they will be influenced by his potty mouth. Kids , while resilient, are harmed by a sour relationship between their parent's co parenting from a respectful distance. IF he's got it in him to be honourable as a father, and he may be capable, judging from his actions towards you , the mother of his child. If you have a place to go with family that love you, i think that would be better for you and the baby. If not, I think you'd do better getting all the help you can moving forward as a single mother insisting on child support in terms of financial support. I don't think you're gong to last there with him emotionally very long. so please plan on other options. You're meant to be happy and respected. Then and only then will you be at your best to parent your child. Make the goal finding a man you can truly have a love child with, and this child will benefit from a man capable of the real thing.
1 Comments
Thank to those that have given me advice. I never thought I’d find myself in his situation. Now I know what to do.
20873538 tn?1556130793
Time will tell, do you want to waste your time with him and find out? Sounds like classic male problem ugh.
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Relationships Community

Top Relationships Answerers
13167 tn?1327194124
Austin, TX
3060903 tn?1398565123
Other
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.
For people with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), the COVID-19 pandemic can be particularly challenging.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Here’s how your baby’s growing in your body each week.
These common ADD/ADHD myths could already be hurting your child