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Cheap, lying boyfriend

I've been with my boyfriend for a year in half, when I first met him I was not attracted to him. But I knew he was a nice guy and he was very different from the thugs I was used to dating, so I gave him a chance. I just turned 30 so I figured I needed to step out of my comfort zone and try somehing new. As the relationship progressed I got to know him an found out that he was a really nice southern family guy with respect....He lost his business 9 months ago, so money is looking funny. I picked up a second job because I was used to him giving me leisure money, so that my paycheck was  just for bills. He hasn't found a job yet and its putting a strain on our relationship. Now I found out that he's a liar...the business he had wasn't even his. He was just the manager. And he constantly keeps lying about his finances.  What should I do?
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973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hon,  what a great guy to "give" you money for your leisure when he had it. If his finances and his funds that supplied your "extras" were one of the main things you like about him (not his looks as you say you weren't attracted to him) and now he doesn't have the ability to offer it-------  well, okay.  Don't get mad.  That says a lot more about you than it does him that this is a problem for you.  I don't condone lying but it sounds like it was set up from the begining that you were interested in the financial end of him.  And that you call him cheap???!!!!  Okay.  This post is not making you look good-- sorry to say.  good luck anyway.
Helpful - 0
134578 tn?1693250592
He probably was trying to be a "big man" by giving you leisure money, and thinks you will leave him if you know he's not that big of a man.  As Chris Rock says, men don't easily go backwards sexually in relationships, and women don't easily go backwards financially.  (He jokes "if a guy loses his job, his girlfriend will say, 'That's OK, we'll get through this,' but the clock is ticking.")  The fact that you call your boyfriend cheap instead of broke makes it sound like money problems (at least when it gets to the point where you have to get a second job) are a big issue for you in the relationship -- presumably he could/can tell this, so he lied.  Not that it's OK for him to lie, but maybe he felt he'd lose you otherwise.  It's a shame that he hasn't found a job yet -- if he is actively looking, I'd cut him some slack.  If he is not, it is possible he is just super depressed about the whole situation, and is sort of losing it (thus the lying).  Don't know what to tell you -- it's your call whether to stay or go, but it wouldn't be uncommon for you to go, in this situation.  
Helpful - 0
145992 tn?1341345074
Maybe he's embarassed by the fact that he has no job and maybe he doesn't feel like you will like him if he didn't have money.  However, lying is not cool in anyway, shape or form.  Have you asked him why he lies about his money situation?  I think that's the first step to getting your answers.  What is important to you in your relationship?  
Helpful - 0
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