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649848 tn?1534633700

Christmas gifts for spouse/significant other??

Do you and your spouse or significant other buy each other Christmas gifts?  
If so:  Are they surprise gifts, as in you each decide on something you think the other wants, or would like, and buy it without their knowledge?  
Do you discuss what each of you wants and come up with a "wish list" and pick things from the list?  
Do you go shopping together for the gifts you're buying each other, then take them home, wrap them and put them under the tree?
7 Responses
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134578 tn?1693250592
I would have taken Scrooge's hide to the bank long ago and gotten money and bought myself some nice gifts. What an attitude.
Helpful - 0
1 Comments
Well, he does give (sometimes); he just does it grudgingly, so it takes the fun out of receiving.  

Over our 52 yrs of marriage, he's come up with pretty nice gifts though most of those have not been Christmas gifts.  Some of the best ones have been things he found while he was traveling, like when he went to Europe for business; he even brought back a very pretty pearl necklace from San Diego one time - maybe absence really does make the heart grow fonder, IDK... lol  Those are about the only ones for which he has not complained of the cost - I suppose because he chose to buy them, he didn't get them because he was expected to buy a gift.  

Although it doesn't make things a lot easier, I do believe a lot of his attitude has to do with the way he was raised.  He's always refused to set aside the up-bringing in favor of the joys of Christmas (or life in general), so I try not to let him bring me down with him...
649848 tn?1534633700
All of you were kind enough to answer my question, I guess I should put my own response on here...lol

I believe my husband is directly descended from the original Scrouge...  :-)  He can ruin the entire Christmas season in the blink of an eye.  He not only hates to go shopping, he hates it when I bake Christmas cookies, candy, cook a big meal or anything like that. He always says: "What did you bake all that for? It costs so much money to make all that stuff..."  Most of all, he hates buying gifts because he doesn't like to spend money on anyone.  

Most of the time, when he does give he gives grudgingly and I wasn't taught to do that, so it's always been hard for me.  When I was a child, we only got one gift each year because that's all my parents could afford, but that gift was given with love.

We haven't given each other anything for the past few years because he didn't want to go shopping nor did he think it "necessary" to spend money on each other.  I did mention the other day if we should get each other something this year.  He insists that there's nothing he wants, but every time we go somewhere, he buys something... seems to me, he could write those things down and give me a list so I could pick from it for Christmas.

I think I've mentioned to some of you that he's having some memory issues so I'm having to get used to a lot of different things.  The other day we agreed that we'd e-mail each other a list of things we wanted, along with links or pictures so we'd know what to get... I haven't gotten his, so I mentioned it this morning; he said he forgot and would get it done.  I still don't have it.

Like specialmom, I've always been Santa and Mrs Claus, plus the Elves.  I've always done all the decorating, baking, shopping, etc, while my husband sits back and tells me how silly it is and complains about the expense.  A couple years I even believed him and didn't do any decorating, but when it got right up to Christmas I ended up digging out a few decorations after all... I just don't have Scrouge in my blood... lol  

This year, we have a nice big tree and some other decorations.  I even talked Scrouge into making some special rolling pins for cookie baking this year.  
Helpful - 0
495284 tn?1333894042
We usually do something nice for each other at Christmas.  He would give me the world if i asked but i usually need clothes and this year is no different.  With the weight i have lost my wardrobe is limited so guess what i am getting!  I pick them out, he pays, i wrap them.  I usually get him some foo foo juice!  There is nothing better than smelling a good scent while riding behind him on the motorcycle!  It is more for me than him i guess!  We will call it selfishness on my part!

As for the rest of Christmas?   He goes along, i pick out, he pays, i wrap.  I can live with that due to  him forking over the funds, besides it takes him 3 days to wrap a present and it looks like hell when done!!!
Helpful - 0
2 Comments
We should some day do a "man tries to 'wrap' a gift" photo contest.  I'm married to a contender.
I'm married to the winner!!  lol
242912 tn?1660619837
Lol, ya'll are hilarious; very entertaining.
Helpful - 0
134578 tn?1693250592
I'd let the kids buy the diamond tennis bracelets, myself. Tell your husband to butt out, he's just there for the wallet and the ride.  lol

Helpful - 0
4 Comments
LOL, good point.  The tennis bracelets would be mine if it weren't for the Dad's wallet part.  He's a party poop.  
Nice to have sons with good taste in presents. :)
SM - it sounds like you should tell Dad to turn the wallet over to the boys, then you drive them to the mall and sit in the car while they do the shopping.  Think of all the nice things you'll get.  lol
I mean, seriously. He is the bankroll, the boys are the tastemakers. That works in my family, where our son (yet still age 11) picked out both of our two last cars. I love mine!
973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
No to any help at all.  I am Mrs. Clause, Santa Clause and all the elves rolled up into one tired person.  I shop, cook, clean, wrap and make it special all on my own.  We do stockings on Dec. 6 for St. Nicks day which my husband started and now I'm in charge of.  Was out yesterday finding little goodies for the stockings.  Yes, I try to work on it leading up to Christmas but it got away from me.  I have an older son (14) who has not given me a single idea yet.  Says he is not sure he wants anything.  Sigh. So, Mrs. Clause, Santa Clause and the Elves are going to wing it by the end of the week which often doesn't turn out well (picture sad, disappointed face on Christmas morning). Oh well.  I love Christmas but sometimes work hard to feel the joy.

As to presents with the husband.  Well, I love him.  He's a good husband in many way.  And he TRIES.  I figured out early on in our relationship that I had to spoon feed exactly what I want for presents.  I go as far as to print out pictures, draw diagrams of stores, include item numbers, order myself and put under his bed to wrap for me (note . . . I should say for the kids to wrap for me because he started delegating that task as soon as they could walk).  Then husband takes sons out for the annual "MOM shopping trip".  It's a torturous affair for them all, it seems.  boys would buy me 5 diamond tennis bracelets and dad says "you each get to pick out a pair of socks". They argue, they discuss, they take all darn day or two to figure it out.  I had to exchange sizes one time of a pair of pajamas they bought.  I went to Macy's where they purchased them like 3 days after Christmas and the lady who worked there looked at the pj's, then at me and paused. She said slowly . . . "oh, I remember your family."  I asked NO questions because I pretty much didn't want to know what she remembered them for.  Ha, I do adore my family.  The whole thing I see as funny and quirky.

What I'd "like" to do is have my husband and I not give each other anything and do something for the house.  We could use new carpet, for example.  I'd rather have new carpet than a bunch of kitchen gadgets.  My husband always asks for clothes and then acts a little sad that he gets clothes for Christmas.  sigh.  Last year we got a new tv (thanks to Mrs. Clause, Santa Clause and the elf in me) which I like to do something like that better than the sweater my husband got me that has the shoulders cut out of it.  I mean . . . I think he was shopping in the Juniors department.  I'm not a Junior and really couldn't wear a cut out sweater to Krogers or the school band concert. right?

I just got an instant pot for my birthday.  Kind of trying to figure out what to cook in it and how but it beats those old pressure cookers that threatened to blow your face off.  :>)  
Helpful - 0
134578 tn?1693250592
Husband and I do buy for each other, not discussed much in advance though sometimes I give him guidelines if he is looking clueless. His gifts to me are often from a jewelry shop (if so, I have to at least let him know things like "pearl-dot earrings, not big chandeliers that I can't wear anywhere"). Mercifully the jewelry shops wrap things (if you could see how my husband wraps, you would be glad too). Though I will say, there was the memorable Christmas where he bought me a brownie pan at the grocery store. It wasn't my sole gift, but I assume he saw it when out picking up food and said, "Hey, we use these at home, I'll buy one for Brooke for Christmas!" and thought he was being brilliant. He not only bought it (when we already had three of them) but he wrapped it, too. It was ... memorable!

Mine to him are chosen and wrapped by me, often in response to something wearing out in his wardrobe. He's hard to shop for in smaller things, since he is pretty good at replacing socks and underwear himself, and also buys leisure things when out of town (for example, he will buy the newest novel by an author he likes in hardback at the airport bookstore, so I can't beat him to it).  Replacing his sweaters is usually a good bet, since the black cashmere v-necks he likes to wear in winter over his dress shirts are costly enough that he can't get them at the local place where he buys socks. Luckily, he reliably wears out or loses his slippers every year, so our son (very big on Christmas and has to give Daddy a gift) can do slippers.
Helpful - 0
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