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Avatar universal

Confused

I am in a spot and it's bothering me. In January my my boyfriend and I broke up. He left me in June 2010 to move to another city because he got caught up in a bad situation. He wanted me to move with him but I told him I couldnt because I was not ready, he didn't want to face the consequences of his actions so I didn't have to move. Anyway we were stayed together I went to go see him November 2010.  The in December he wanted some money and I told him I didnt have any and he told me f*** you and never spoke to me until July 2011. He told me he was mad at me but wanted to know if I still love him and I said yes. He told me he misses me and wants my baby. Well I met another guy 4 months ago and I really like him but I love my ex.  The new treats me well, we haven't had sex yet and he doesn't know whats going on I just keep telling him I need time.  Im so confused because I don't want to hurt anyone. What should I do?
Best Answer
Avatar universal
You don't want to hurt anyone?  This ex kicked you in the guts, and you're concerned about hurting him?  Do not be so co-dependent....  If that guy can do what he did, then months later down the line tell you that he "is still mad", then expect you to come back???  No dice!  Do not do this to yourself.

Listen, I do not know what consequences he originally was running away from, but there are a new set of consequences he needs to deal with.  That is the fact that he treated you the way he did, and now expect you to come back..... he's going to use you.... that's what he does.

As Londres said above, there's no telling what this guy has gotten himself into since he left.  Give this new guy a shot.  He treats you right, and you deserve that.... don't you?
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Avatar universal
I think this ex is nothing but bad news.  You already know the terrible things he is capable of saying and doing.  I wouldn't go back unless you love or like drama.  

I would just assume move on with the new guy; he is treating you well for now.  

I have loved two men in my past, but in the end they were not the best thing for me.  In other words, just because you love someone doesn't mean you should be with them if they aren't a positive influence on you.  

Wish him well and move on.  Plus, you don't know what other mess he has gotten into since you haven't spoken or seen him in a while.  
Helpful - 0
134578 tn?1642048000
He sounds icky, frankly.  Talk to a counselor and find out what the heck the magnetic draw is to this guy.  Nobody should curse you out and ignore you for months and then get rewarded with "I love you."  You need to have some pride even if you still have a soft spot for him.  Don't give away your power.
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Avatar universal
I think I am addicted to him, maybe because he was my first I don't know. I will talk to my therapist about this when I see her tomorrow.

Thank you
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Make sure you are telling your therapist the "whole" story.  Make sure she knows what this guy has done, what he has said, and how you feel about all of it.
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