Confused...lookin for someone with same experience

[Luminous]

Been with HIM for about 8 mos. now and i'm sure its love.
I mean I been in relationships b4 including my daughters father but I have'nt ever felt like this b4 and i mean ever. I suspect he's cheating only b/c I see him texting  multiple women about "when u gonna let me taste u" whats up my sunshne"...althought its not a reciprocal conversation..It's just him initiating the convo. the girls just LOL and thats it...I also checked his calendar on his IPhone and on Sept.4 it reads " Chris & Helen  the day we fell in love" although her number is not saved to his phone and no text have been sent out to her... whats that all about?..He claims I have nothing to worry about cuz all he thinks about is me..although thats 100% true he travels miles to see me on feet yes he walked a few times to my house we live 38 blocks apart...i checked his phone bill and its my number most of the time with the longest minutes and all...but heres the thing...he tells me that the other ******* know about me..and knows that i come 1st no matter what...that i shouldnt worry cuz if he picks up a fish he'll just throw it back to the water but that im his trophy fish...so he has me thinking would it be worth it at the end..if i stick by him..maybe hes going thru some soul searching should I just let him be and wait if he picks me?...or gets tired..I really love him and i feel like we have more going with each other the future and he feels the same I know the LOVE is there I feel it and also see it in his eyes, he doesnt wanna let me go even tho i tried to walk away...should I stick by him and see?...

[g27gear]

Everyone here will tell you to leave him, and you should. You should drop all contact with this guy. He is a drug and you're addicted to him. You have to realize how bad he is for you and do what's best for you and your future. NOTHING GOOD CAN COME FROM BEING WITH HIM.
Be strong and move on.

[mami1323]

You have named numerous faults with this man.  I don't see anything good at all.  You have to want more for yourself.  Until you think you deserve better, you will be sitting and wasting away in a relationship that is one sided.  It's your self esteem that needs a good overhaul.  You need to think why you stay?  At some point you will have had enough.  I hope it's sooner than later.

[AnxiousGurl]

Letting go is hard ....and easier said than done...but seriously how much longer do u want to put up with it........you have a choice ..do something about it..... it sounds like your putting up with alot of **** hes 11 yrs older and has nothing going for him.

My bfs family calls us beauty and the beast too lol
Anyway I would dump his @zz

Good luck

[Luminous]

I'm 25 and he's 36...what I'm about to type is gonna sound really dumb as to why am I with him but as I say it and type it, my view on things is improving a little (Thanx I need that)...I know he's not worth nothing he's 36 in and out of jail...he smokes dust and lives at home with his mom...his mom think im crazy for beign with him and his sister tells me "If his mom thinks he's worthless then u know he aint sh*t" let alone he has 3 kids with 3 babymoms supports them when he has money but thats rarely...he's extremely ugly but ofcourse I dont see that..reason I know is people tellin me what I see in him..matter fact beign that halloween is near they say we should be beauty & the beast..lmao my friends compare my relationship to the "Lady and the Tramp". I ask myself WHY?..but I have no answer..I swear I Love him... but I hope if its not meant to be..to let it come, I'll welcome it without the pain...I feel like im trapped in a situation that by not letting go I dont have to feel the pain of a heartbreak, I"M SOOOO TRAPPED I'm scared. He's my drug.

[mami1323]

I was with a man for 2 1/2 years, I was so in love with him I didn't even see what was right in front of me.  For those 2 1/2 years he refused to make a full commitment to me.  Lying constantly, telling me that I was the only one, in reality I wasn't and I knew it.  I wanted him so badly and every time I would pull away and try to move on, he would say or do something to reel me back in.  I was so depressed, his family knew me, his friends knew me.  It actually took his own friend telling me to leave him because it's not worth it for me to really get it.  After that, I did my own playing and eventually broke his heart.  I just could kick myself looking back because I wasted so much time and energy on a man that would never and could never love me the way I loved him.  You can do so much better, stop wasting yourself on him.  

[AnnaE]

May I ask how old you two are? Why is he on foot? Can you describe what you mean by love? There is great book on that topic. I can look it up for you.

I wish you the very best

[AnxiousGurl]

I agree with cootos

[autum]

Well I understand the feeling of love you feel, I felt that way w/ my husband and we have been together for 5years, and married 3 years this december... but what I want to say is...  you are asking a question on this...  Love is built on trust...  if you dont trust them, then love will fade in time...  If you do love him and trust him, then you shouldnt worry about looking into his phone, calendar ect...    But if you have doubt on him ...if you think he is cheating then there is a reason for you to think this way....   If he is getting text messages from women saying bs like that then, if it was me, I would think he is cheating on me...     My hubby gets crazy text messages from women, but I know the women and how they are ...  and he usually sends me the text messages too...  mainly jokes...  but anyways....  you have to ask yourself if you trust him or not...  once you have figured that answer out, it will lead you the rest of the way on what you need to do..

I hope this helps
Autum

[MrsOckert]

Dating several people at once and not being involved sexually with any of them is one thing.

But when a guy texts someone saying when you gonna let me taste u....that's a huge problem for me.

This man is a cheater.  Even if he marries you he will always be a cheater.

[Cootos]

"When you gonna let me taste u"......
Okay right there, that's a no no!!! He's a jerk! A looser! A *****! Your gonna get hurt....you can do much better, he obviously wants to keep his options open and just cauz he says "your the top fish" or "number 1" ...... that's just his way of keeping you!!! He says that to all the other girls too! And for the fact that your already snooping because your suspicious over his actions indicates that your not sure about him...therefore it's time to say bye bye!

[zodiacqueen]

If I tell you what I really think of SOME aries men, I will get my throat shredded up by the forum members that happen to be aries.  LOL!!!

[Luminous]

You guys are all right! its tru I should just wake up and smell the coffeeoloft and its not even RX to me cuz of my depression..but F.Y.I we dont live together but we are constanty together I sleep in his house vice-versa...i go to his fams house, fams parties..chill with his friends...when he tells people "I'm with my girl" they know its me...i know he treats me like the "1"...but its the messages and phone calls that bother me, plus when we out together I catch him lookin at other womens *****(he's an *** man) could tell by his porn collection...thats another insecurity i have with him cuz i'm not well endowed back there...last we spoke he said "lets break up cuz your tooo jealouse and u keep checkin my phone..thinking im the player of the year"..and that was on Friday A.m...still nothing from him...

He's and Aries and I'm a libra any input ZodiacQueen...lol

[zodiacqueen]

I know you must be very confused and hurt right now.  Look at the facts, he's talking to other women, and talking nasty to other women, too.  If he loved you, why would he need the other women.  And, don't you worry about STD's??  How many women do you think he's tasting???  He sounds like a player, and he's keeping you on the side cuz he knows you'll be there while he plays and talks trash to other women.  This is the type of man that'll tell you everything you want to hear.  I wouldn't believe much of what he says.  

I'm sorry if what I've said has hurt you, but I've been hurt myself a bunch of times-I've seen men like this and I'd hate to see you come down with an STD!!!

[nessie12]

i agree with scared2b about being the only one...i think that you should try to have a conversation about being exclusive explain to him how you feel and why it makes you uncomfortable.

[scared2b]

I agree with sammy it sounds like you're at a much higher level in you're realationship than he is. I believe the feelings you have for him are true but you have to ask yourself if you truly are his "number 1" then who are these others....2 and 3? I mean if he says you're his 1 then you should BE the ONLY one ya know? plus you have to take into part what he might me saying to these other girls...maybe talking to them would be helpful in finding out if he's just using all of you....

[sammy73]

You say you guys have been seeing each other for 8 months - what stage has the relationship got to?  Sounds like it's pretty serious for you, and he's saying (to you at least) that you're the prize for him, and his 'phone records back that up.  But I guess from what you say you are not living together?

I guess the problem is that you are in different places right now.  You're ready for an exclusive relationship; he's primarily focussed on you, but is still happy flirting around.  I get what treazzure007 says, to an extent, but that sort of behaviour is only really OK when both partners are happy with it.

This could be no more than flirting.  Flirting can be entirely innocent fun, if it is never more than that.  I've been married for 10 years (and with my wife for almost 17) I still like to flirt occasionally, I know it's never more than that and it's never going to go anywhere (and so do the girls involved), so no problem.  It depends on how far it goes.  If he's going out for a drink with them (just two of them) it's going further than innocent flirting, I'd say.

However, this behaviour is clearly making you feel uncomfortable and unhappy.  He needs to know how his behaviour is making you feel.  While the behaviour may be innocent enough, it's not right for him to dismiss your feelings - what you feel is what you feel, and that is real.  If he cared enough for your feelings, he'd adapt his behaviour, even if he doesn't feel like he's doing anything wrong.

[Luminous]

`I guess...I should do the same...i should stop forcing the unforcible...and let GOD do his job...i feel so miserable though..I hope the pain ends soon i hate feelin this way...

[treazzure007]

well, i disagree.  i think that society has shaped peoples' minds into thinking that something is wrong with dating various people at one time.  dating is dating.  dating is not marriage.  if a person wants to do 'married folk' things and put their heart and soul all into it, that's their problem if it becomes one.  people are finding that out everyday.  the other person moves on still in the clouds enjoying the dating game.

i don't think anything is wrong with a person having multiple girlfriends/boyfriends or going on dates with many people until they decide to make it more exclusive with one person for whatever reason.  how else is he supposed to know who he likes the best???  besides, unless people like investing time on one person and then that not working out only to have to start all over from the beginning again.  wouldn't it be better to say, "well, it didn't work out with that guy.  he's x-y-z.  that would never work out for me.  so, it's good i'v got so-and-so to go out with tomorrow"?

as long as the guy isn't flaunting his other 'interests' in your face and treats you like a lady and is sincere with you, i just can't see what could be wrong with him liking and seeing other girls as well.  because you know he's not exclusive with you gives you the greenlight on continuing to meet and greet other fellas as well

[extrmeski]

I'm sorry but this guy seems way immature.  I see no reason as a guy to be putting myself out there like that when I am involved with someone else.  That makes about as much sense as looking at the menu when you are full.  He is keeping his options open while seeing you.  Just my opinion.  As soon as he gets a response from one of those gilrs he wants to taste, he will be tasting!!