Little sister wont sleep in her own bed.

[dogcrazie892]

Hi, my littlest sister is 8 and a half years old.

heres the situation- if told to go to sleep in her own bed, she will refuse or throw a tantrum.

My Mum and Dad havent slept in the same bed since she was born.
She sleeps with my Mum so has to stay up to 12 o clock at night. As she will wait for my mum to come to bed with her, so she either stays in my parents room and watches tv or stays downstairs with my parents.

My Dad sleeps on the sofa or in her room.

My Mum can never say no to her and just lets her get away. For example, she has never said to her "You are to go to bed now."

But my dad tried and tried, but has given up as my Mum will come to the "rescue" and let her stay downstairs.

I dont understand why my Mum wont send her to bed as my little sister will always throw a tantrum in the day and say that shes tired. Is the message going through to my mum ?
My sister is also very quick-tempered and has an attitude.

Im sick of just sitting and watching this happen, is there anything I can do ? I have tried to speak to my mum about it but she always says "shes 8" and I say exactly !

[HamedKhatiz]

Well, that's something your parents can do then. Make a gradual plan, muster patience and work with each other.

[dogcrazie892]

Hi specialmom, thanks for the advice, I have spoken to my dad and we can both now agree on the situation that I was in no position to try and sort it out.

Hi Hamed Khatiz, thankyou for the advice but that is for my parents to do not me. I did try and put it in the child behaviour but it did not let me.

[specialmom]

One 16 year old talking to another 16 year old?  LOL  Hey, really -----  I feel really strongly about this.  This is a boundary that her parents must set.  For all the poster knows, her parents are indeed satisfied with this set up.  Kids need to stay out of parental issues/business for the sake of all involved.  goodluck

[HamedKhatiz]

Good morning or evening or day or night or afternoon and whassup. I can say with near certainty that you will get better results in the Child Behavior Forum rather than here.

In case this was moved, this was originally in the Relationships forum but I shall try my best.

The eradication of all behaviors is gradual, you have to wane off of it, you cannot just say "yeah, move to your own bed now and stay there every night for the rest of your life", she is thinking "what? I have stayed here for 8.5 years, why should I move?

She is used to it now so it will take a gradual plan to make her change. You might want to go with a one night a week plan and then reward her the morning after. You get the idea.

Once you start introducing the new plan, you have to make the envrironment somewhere comfortable, somewhere she CAN get used to. Put her favorite teddy-bear beside the bed, implement lighting, whatever, but she has to be comfortable, otherwise it ain't going to work.

No kid should be up until midnight and I do not know how that is humanly possible for a kid her age but you have to send her off that too. Get one of the parents to be in the room with her and get them to pretend to go to sleep. But early and then wake up when she is asleep.

Remember that both parents have to work together on this.

It takes time and that's the thing. She has been in this system for eight years and it will take some time, patience and getting used to. That's how you get her to sleep in her own bed but how you can get the parents working with each other is a job for someone else and I shall leave it there.

Good luck, Hamed Khatiz

[specialmom]

;Well, dear, you are 16 and I'd resent my child trying to get involved.  This is between your mother and your father.  If your mother allows it, then this is the boundary she has set.  Some married couples aren't as intimate as others and it seems that is the case with your parents.  Your mother could have removed your sister from her bed and  your father could ask your mother or his daughter himself.  They are not helpless.  

I would say that you should stay tuned to your things in your life and allow your parents to shape whatever kind of marriage they do.  If they have issues-------- that is between man and woman and not their 16 year old kid.  I'm not trying to offend you, it is nice you care----------  but THEY are the adults and you need to worry about things that are part of your own day to day life.  good luck