Do you remember him touching you inappropriately? Or him making any inappropriate comments?
Usually then general idea is if you have to ask if it's abuse, it probably is.
Not sure. Lots of parents cuddle with their kids and opposite sex parents often cosleep (cosleeping with children is pretty common and in some countries the cultural norm). Lots of men do sleep in the underwear. I, as a mother, could sleep with my children and cuddle with them and it would have NOTHIG to do with sexual interest. I'd never feel that way toward my kids but love them to death and am affectionate with them.
but it is reciprocal. Usually you find young kids to be just as affectionate as their parents. Usually they enjoy that relationship. And most kids who cosleep find it comforting as well.
I have to wonder about the dynamics. Where was your mom? Was this visitation? Was cosleeping something you always did until the teen years with your dad? And when did it start to bother you? Do you feel it was sexual? What made you uncomfortable? Could he have been asleep and not known he 'wasn't letting go'.
I guess I tend to give the benefit of the doubt because you hate to have a father/daughter relationship ruined over an accusation that you really don't feel strongly one way or the other (or you wouldn't ask strangers on the internet).
How is your relationship now?
I would also need to hear more, and am a little curious about your name, avatar and title of this post. It sounds like you may be struggling a little and trying to find answers - kind of looking at your life in the rearview mirror and trying to explain your current attitude and situation.
Not quite sure of what else you may have gone through during this time. Personally 10 0r 12 is to old to be spooning with Daddy, I don't care how affectionate a family you are.
The only thing that matters here is your feelings about this. Apparently it was uncomfortable in an unnatural way, and I would say you have a right to believe it inappropriate. If for no other reason than it was NOT mutual.
Perhaps you should seek some professional counseling to release the burden of your concerns. My Opinion Only!