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Avatar universal

Dropping a no contact order

I'm 11 weeks pregnant. And the other day my boyfriend hot my phone out of my  hand in front of security at a bus plaza. The security got involved and called the cops and they arrested him for domestic violence even tho I said I didn't want that and he didn't hit me and what not. well since I'm a minor ( I'm 17 hes 21) they arrested him anyways. Well they released him but pout a no contact order between me and him for 5 years. Me and him still want to  me together. How can I drop the order. I want to get it dried before baby is fire so he can be there for the birth but idk where to start. Any body have any advice.
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13167 tn?1327194124
Did he ever get a lawyer?  It's pretty late to do that,  now that the deal is done,  but that's what he needs.  An attorney to help him sort this out.

It sounds like he's already gone to court and this case has been adjudicated.  Domestic violence can result in either misdemeanor or felony charges - it sounds in this case that it's treated as a misdemeanor.  Do you know EXACTLY what the charges were,  and what the result of the case was?  Is he on probation now,  and as a condition he can't see you?  

Everyone hates lawyers until they need one,  and he NEEDS one at this point.  It's possible he's been charged with misdemeanor assault on a child,  which is pretty serious on a job application.  

Legal fees get huge when you go to court in a jury trial - this probably won't cost a huge amount,  and anyway,  you'll get to know how much it will cost before accepting the services.  

IMHO,  this is what money is for.  

Best wishes.
Helpful - 0
973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Well, I'm  not sure what to tell you.  My familiarity with the court system is that this is highly unusual that they took this action and improbable that the court would put all of this in place just based on what you said.  But that doesn't matter now as the court order is in place.  

you really have three options.  First, go to a lawyer and sort this out.  I'm gathering expense wise that this is might not be an option.  I get this---  in my area, there really isn't free legal counsel and it is pricey.  You can ask your parents to help you out with this though to research and find this out.  Option two, ignore it.  Who's going to call the police if he is in your space?  Unless your parents don't like you together, I'd imagine no one really knows about this (hopefully you haven't told lots of people) and no one will care if the two of you are together.  The police are not watching the two of you to make sure he and you adhere to the order.  The third option is to understand that the court sees him as volatile and they are trying to protect you.  You are a young woman with a toddler and a baby on the way at 17 and a boyfriend that allows his stress to get out of control that he acts out and fights with you in public.  I'd stand for that for about a nanosecond and you need the same kind of stern boundaries in your life.  No making excuses for someone!!  

good luck
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
He didn't even hit my hand. Only the phone. And he has no criminal background. the buys plaza in my city isn't a very nice place so the security has to get involved in any arguing they witness. They be said they would just let it go but since it could be domestic violence related they had to call the police and let be them decide. the cop told my boyfriend that since I'm a minor they were gonna arrest him because they didn't want my.parents to sure the department if they didn't. But we have no history of abuse in our  relationship I'm already have a  19 month old and my boyfriend is via like a second dad to him. He is bad good guy and never gets angry like that. He has been really stressed out lately to because his niece is in the hospital fighting for his life and his brother just got put in jail for 6 months.  So with me and him arguing out set him off and he hit
Helpful - 0
13167 tn?1327194124
I agree with SM,  and wonder if there's a lot more to the story.

Does he have a prior criminal record?  Was he extremely agitated even when the police got there?   Did you have bruising on your hand?  

Having both the security guard AND the police over react here seems a little hard to believe.  I just strongly sense you're greatly downplaying the incident.

Helpful - 0
1696489 tn?1370821974
Yes.  Obtain legal assistance where you live.  Most lawyers will give you one free session.  Perhaps one of them can tell you what your next step should be.  Blessings to you and your growing family - Blu
Helpful - 0
973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Wow, must have been a bit more intense than you describe for the police to take this action.  Sweetie, is he rough with you?  This is something for you to really think long and hard about.  Abusive relationships start somewhere and usually when the abused downplays it in order to stay with someone.  Police and then the court do not take this action unless they feel that the situation warrants it.  This has me concerned that you want to be with him so much that you are willing to put up with mistreatment.  I don't recommend that.

I'd have a cooling off period.  Take some time to think.  Talk to your parents.  Were they supportive of this no contact order?  If so, I think it's probably hard to change it.  

Good questions anyway for your lawyer.  good luck
Helpful - 0
4194487 tn?1370046144
Sounds like a legal issue?? Something you might have to go to court over? Maybe visit the local court go see a solicitor
Helpful - 0
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