Aa
really hurt
So I just gave birth to my daughter 4 and a half months ago and I visited my mom today for lunch at her place. I asked her when a period goes back to regular after giving birth and mine has been gone for 2 months. She insisted I was pregnant then said it should be illegal for me to have children because I'm so poor and my husband is an *******. She then started screaming for me to get an abortion and I felt sick to my stomach and left. She wanted me to abort my first child so bad I don't believe in killing children and have forgiven her for trying to scare me into killing her granddaughter. I am 19 in college paying for it myself btw my husband works from 6am- 10pm providing for the family so I don't have to work. We make an average income yes we're not traveling overseas and honestly I do believe people should have money to have children but at the same time not everyone gets money or ready then the next thing they know they are too old and missed the chance. I have never felt so disgusted in my life of my mother of abortion. She always told me she wished she aborted me when she was a teen that I ruined her life it hurt me hearing that. I was terrified of being a mom after living with mine but before my daughter I honestly had no motivation to do anything but drink and smoke and blow money on stupid things now my husband and I are different. I don't even know. I worry that I am a young mom often how people see me am I doing my best for my girl I love being a young mother and I'm not pregnant btw
It'll hurt if she doesn't choose to improve her treatment of you, and force you to redefine your relationship with her; however, you have a responsibility to yourself first. Enduring abuse, is self abuse.
I once told a therapist about my own mothers controlling behavior. She asked, "Why do you keep her in your life?" I answered, "Because she's my mother, and I need a relationship with her." The therapist answered, "No you don't. You should want a relationship with your mother, not need one." I never forgot that, and it's true! You don't need a relationship with your mother. Her treatment of you is harmful. Tell her how it makes you feel, give her an opportunity to make things right, then move on.
Sorry to hear that your mother would be so cruel to you
Please talk to a therapist to help you to be able to cut ties .
It is dangerous and counter productive to have her near your family.
Please consider taking some courses on line, maybe there is an idea that you can come up with that would allow you to work from home in some way. Taking in a child, maybe taking a course in child care. that would help you to raise your own. (even online)
Maybe you're into art, and there is something you can do to become independent, even while a stay at home mother.There is alot of self esteem that comes from independence, and i think it' would be a shame
not to have your own business interests.
If you are able to get out, you can make your own friends, and maybe find an older woman who can take the place of grama in their lives so that they don't miss out.,
I wish you the very best and i hope you stick around here. There's invaluable advice for a young mother. You're a smart young lady to have reached out at this time in your life. Always here if you need a friend,
Li
Please talk to a therapist to help you to be able to cut ties .
It is dangerous and counter productive to have her near your family.
Please consider taking some courses on line, maybe there is an idea that you can come up with that would allow you to work from home in some way. Taking in a child, maybe taking a course in child care. that would help you to raise your own. (even online)
Maybe you're into art, and there is something you can do to become independent, even while a stay at home mother.There is alot of self esteem that comes from independence, and i think it' would be a shame
not to have your own business interests.
If you are able to get out, you can make your own friends, and maybe find an older woman who can take the place of grama in their lives so that they don't miss out.,
I wish you the very best and i hope you stick around here. There's invaluable advice for a young mother. You're a smart young lady to have reached out at this time in your life. Always here if you need a friend,
Li
I no how it feels my mom is the same way I'm a 1time mom myself wat I do is stay away I don't want 2 put my baby or nun self anywhere near my mom it hurts yeah but know that u have a child I have 2 think of my baby n if she was is going to be like that wats the point of having my baby hurt the way I did I say if it's toxic stay away it not a chemical u wanna live with
So sorry for repeating what the other ladies said, didn't read the comments before posting. But they are right!
I am so sorry your mother said that to you. You did NOT deserve that and it sounds like she is a toxic person. Maybe you should consider not talking to your mom and backing off. Your children shouldn't hear that either. I am so sorry hun ((hugs))
Thank you so much ladies reading that truly made me feel good to read kind supportive words. I do feel like I should distance myself from my mom she causes me pain
What a very nasty thing for a mother to say to her own daughter, i'm so sorry that your mother is acting this way and saying all these horrible hurtful and disgusting things. If i could, i would give you a big hug. Wow! I'm so horrified and disgusted at what she said, i don't know what else to say!! Just focus on your daughter, the unborn baby, your husband and yourself. You'd be better off without your mother anyway, by the sounds of it. I also wouldn't let her in your house or near your family (husband and kids), i'm here if you ever need to talk to someone or just to vent!
I can relate to parts of this- age, money, those things. But sweetie. If your mom isn't goin to support your life style and how you're growing up and says such hateful things to you, it may be best to keep your distance. You and your family will be in my prayers. You always have me and other women on here ❤️
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