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Avatar universal

Friends with benifits?

I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months about 4 months ago for good reason
about 3 weeks ago I met a guy through friends at a party and we started talking
we ended up having sex that night and agreed to be friends with benifits
yesterday he told me he didn't want to do that any more because I was getting annoying and having feelings.
I do have some feeligs but I also think I'm pregnant and have no idea what to do.
7 Responses
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Avatar universal
First you need to keep his number...
Second try and keep the contact going, you know little conversations...
THIRD.. its all lust right now.
Fourth, make the best decisions for you. If you are pregnant please keep the child.. Just for reason you wouldn't wanna have to think about on a daily basis.
Fifth.. go get a pregnancy test...or hit up planned parenthood..
Sixth.. tell ppl who care about you.. you know get some support from non judgmental ppl
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'll try to keep little conversation then he just *******
but I see like what your saying
I'm am deathly afraid to tell anyone yet
but I have an appointment at planned parenthood tomrroow
Helpful - 0
973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi.  Okay, well-----------  it does not take very long to find out if you are indeed pregnant and that is your first agenda here.  An inexpensive home pregnancy test from the drug store will provide an answer.  They are very accurate.  The key is to make sure enough time has passed.  But we are talking just a few days after a missed period in which those tests pick up a pregnancy.

Second, ugh.  The problem with friends with benefits is it often really isn't that.  I personally have a hard time seperating emotion from physical intimacy.  If I'm intimate with the same person, I will grow attached.  So for me, friends with benefits wouldn't work.  This guy is telling you he really does not want this to grow into anything------  so, you are vulnerable to being hurt if you are like me and feelings grow.  Often as well, someone enters into this kind of thing because they do actually have a crush on that person and if they asked, would jump at being a significant other of theirs.  So they are in essence fooling themselves that all they want to be is friends with benefits and sadly, they end up getting hurt.

Sex is a great thing but not to be taken lightly.  An unwanted pregnancy can derail a young lady's life.  Don't get me wrong---------  I love children and have two of my own.  But I have them with my husband who is committed to me and them.  So, please always always use protection and take sex for the special act it is.  

If you are pregnant,  this would be a big bummer.  You'll have lots of decisions to make.  You don't say how old you are------- but you could keep the baby and raise him/her alone and after proving paternity, the guy would pay some child support.  There is adoption which I think is a beautiful thing for all involved.  Etc.

I don't think you need to do anything about this guy until you know if you are pregnant.  Like I said, tests at home are so accurate, I knew the day my period was due that I was pregnant with one of those tests (I was trying).  Since you are going to planned parenthood, you will probably take a blood test and find out almost immediately.  

Remember, respect your body and don't give it away.  Best of luck to you and let us know what happens!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I was lonely and thought I could ignore any feelings I don't know it's a lapse in judgement and I feel almost dirty about it
I feel like I have no respect for myself anymore
I just don't know.
If I am pregnant adoption would be my choice
I am 20 years old but college is important to me
and as you said adoption is a beautiful thisbg
and if I am I will do anything to help someone in a situation where they can't have children
Helpful - 0
973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
I want to tell you and I believe this with my whole heart . . . we become wiser and better people from the mistakes we make in life.  Don't beat yourself up.  Many people get lonely and think they can be with someone to put a band aid on it . . . and deep down they are hoping that the other person will love them eventually.   Take whatever lesson you've learned here and use it for here on out.  See------------  aren't you wiser now??  Yes, you are and that is great.

I'm hoping that you aren't pregnant and will keep my fingers crossed.  Let us know.  I agree that adoption is an excellent choice and a beautiful thing for everyone involved.  I'm actually really proud of how mature you are here.  

so, do get back to us and let us know how the appointment goes tomorrow.  Do something extra nice for yourself today . . . indulge yourself a little bit.  You deserve some TLC.  Peace.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I know exactly what your going through.  I had a guy who wanted to be friends with benefits, we had participated in some sexual activity, no intercourse.  I started having feelings for him and in the end I got hard.  I went to see a therepist on Tuesday, and shared everything, I'm getting help.  Often we want to fill voids in our life, our focus should be taking care of ourselves and become happy with who we are.  I know how it feels.

Good Luck
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I think most of us have made mistakes of some sort and that is how we learn. Own up to it, do what is right for you and all concerned and make sure you attend that college. It will make all the difference in the world to your future, regardless of what your decisions might be. Hopefully you will not be pregnant, but if you are, you will deal with it. You do need to tell someone (maybe mom?) someone you can talk to and bounce ideas off of. As far as the dude, it isnt gonna last so let him go.
Helpful - 0
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