my ex and her actions

[pheggie101]

i posted this under mental health and recieved 0 responses, so ill try it here. after 24 years of marriage we divorced. she had 3 treatments for opiate addiction. after apart a year she came to me for help and i had her detox and stay with me to attend after care. we lived in diff cities. she was given suboxone for maint. things went well and we reunited as a family with our 2 kids. for 3 years all was well then last fall she drew away. in jan she left,  and had met another man who she is getting married to this month....now here is the deal and my concern...is she back on drugs?, maybe.....in march she came to me for sex, in april she was constantly coming over uninvited, jine 1st she told me she was getting married for the 4th time in a one on one talk, that day she said she couldnt tell me she was sure of it, the next day she said she was. 1 week ago she came to pick up money for my kids camp, i was gone and left it in a envelope, she went thru the house, my papers, bedroom, and left a cig butt in a ashtray. i confronted her about it and she lied.i pressed it and i said she needs help, mental health help and to think on it...i also said she tells me so many times she gets married that i think she wants me to tell her not to....10 min after that call i get a voice mail from her.um, im not sure, but i think you are right,we need to talk, then the next day she said i read into it..no more contact since p.s. im in therapy and ok......any ideas lads and lassies?

[jewelscute1]

Sounds like you already know if she has relapsed.  After 24 years, I think you know this woman.......

I wonder why they didn't get charged with child endangerment b/c of your 12 year old?  Do the prosecutors know? You should have been screaming for them to take a drug test.

GOOD LUCK!!

[anxiousmomtobe?]

You need a lawyer and you need to get primary custody of your kids.  They are not safe with this woman.

You need to create your own life, why are you continuing to let this woman abuse you and lead you around.

Why would you give a drug addict access to your house?

[mayflowers]

She does sound like a drug addict yet you are not over her.  I think if she wanted you back, you would probably take her back.    And it sounds like you are kind of joking about it all - "lads & lassies" - who says that???  Sorry, but that's a little weird.  

What happened to your daughter was terrible and a sign of child abuse.  Children deserve to be kept safe from harm.  If you are the only responsible adult in this situation, which sounds like the case, then you have to keep them safe at all costs.  Even if it means keeping them away from their mother because  she  will not look out for their best interests - physical or mental health.

Get counciling as soon as possible to find out why this woman still has a hold on you.  With drug addicts there is usually an enabler as well.

[pheggie101]

thanks for your response, im working on it,i wrote a letter to the GAL from our case, and sent a copy to the judge,we will see where it goes, i find it hard to believe they would just ignore it, especially since my 12 year old was with her mom and mr wonderful fiance on march 27, and they put her on a ATV with no helmet and the kid has never been on one and she panicked and hit the gas and crashed into a tree at a high rate of speed and spent 1 week in ICU and 10 more days in the hospital with facial,orbital fractures,bleeding on the brain, and lost sight for life in one eye, i outlined that in my letter........argh, jim

[PlateletGal]

You know there is very little you can do for a drug addict. From what it sounds like, this woman is in NO condition to care for your children. Do you have custody or does she ? It sounds like she does and I'm thinking that your children should be your first priority here.