Hi, a few months back me and my gf split because of agrueing. I will admit we did argue quiet a lot over petty little things. ok, so after we broke up we didnt speak for a week and i really missed her. we met up one day and ended up kissing and acting like we were a couple so i asked her would she take me back, she said no. so i didnt hear from her for another week. next week, same thing happens, kissed and acted like a couple, i asked her would she take me back, i told her i was sorry for everything i had done to upset her (argueing etc) and once again she said no, she couldnt get back with me as she was enjoying her single like too much (new college/friends). i told her i was really upset about losing her and would do anything to make her happy again, i nearly went as far as begging her, but she said no. so another week past and i ended up getting very very drunk and sleeping with another girl. i will tell you all here and now, after about 4-5 mins into sleeping with her i stopped as i felt and knew what i was doing was wrong, i didnt even ejaculate i was so horrified by what i was doing. a few days later my ex-gf texted me and i told her, obv she took it very bad, saying she never wanted to see me again and she hated me. i understood where she was coming from, but she texted me saying she was going to sleep with another guy to get back at me and i begged her not to. fast forward to this day, we ended up getting back together kinda, but every few days she would get really upset and say the most hurtful things to me, saying she hated me and that she doesnt love me anymore (we were going out for two years) and everytime she has done this i have assured her i was sorry about what i did and how much i regretted it, and still do to this day. i want to know tho, is there a limit to how much i say sorry and reassure her before enough is enough? or should she see that i really am trying to redeem myself and make her happy and get over what had happened. i know it takes time to get over what i have done, but i really do regret what i did, and it will be a blemish on my life till the day i die. but everytime i get upset over how she acts, she sais she doesnt care as its all about me making it up to her, even tho, and i cant stress this enough, i was single when i did it. when i get upset, she tells me to go away and that we wont work out and she cant put up with me, but i do love her, so very much, every day i try make her so happy, but she cant forget and certainly cant forgive me. what can i do to show her im sorry? that it wont happen again. or should i, in a sense, put my foot down and say enough is enough. i dont want to lose her so atm im doing everything she sais e.g not talking to girls, telling her where i am every time she asks, and even when she doesnt. everytime she sais she doesnt want to hear from me again, she is th one who either texts me or emails me to see how i am. up until now we have been pretty good, she has been able to have sex with me again which she said she would never do. i dunno, i just feel that she might be taking advantage of what i did to make me feel ****. can someone please help a bloke out with this kinda thing? all advice/criticism are welcome.
thank you for all your time,