I'm glad you're going to a therapist for yourself. Compatibility issues are always hard to know how to deal with, and in time, with therapy. you will either be able to accept these "issues" or learn to look for a relationship where they do not exist. The problem being, early in relationships, men and women act differently than they often do further on into the relationship. It will take you work to figure out how to keep the romantic and physical love alive within a relationship. It would obviously help if he was on board, indeed, in the end, it might be impossible without his wanting the relationship to flourish and having an open mind to work towards that end.
All the best, Please keep us updated? It's an important thread. There are many that have the same issues. Take Care.
I have been seeing a counselor yes. Our issues are always reoccurring - not enough affection, sex etc. but it took the thought of not having him to realize that's what I wanted. If that makes sense.
Also, you mentioned Last December your relationship was again in turmoil. Can you elaborate at all about why? It might help us in our comments.
I'm wondering if you've gone to see a therapist yet ? How are you?
I have consulted to get an appointment w a counselor.
I also didn't mean to blame at all. I accept full blame. I meant that I want my husband regardless of any issues we may have.
Ugh. I'm sorry you repeated history with the choice of cheating after your partner worked to forgive you. I do think it is lousy to 'sort of' blame him for the cheating (the never changing part). I'm worried because you were willing to do it at that time due to unhappiness in the relationship--- the cheating was a band aid or something. What do you do now to cope? Are you vulnerable to it happening again? Possibly.
I think YOU need counseling. Not couples counseling but you all by yourself. To discover why you made this choice twice. How to live with the guilt.
No, I guess I wouldn't tell although I do think your husband deserves to be with someone that is honest. However, you have kids and plan to try to stay. So deal with the guilt and take it to your grave. My opinion only and I am sure you will get opposing opinions.
good luck