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I have been trying to get pregnant for 2 years now and haven't been able to. I don't know if its cause I was raped as a child or because if my boyfriends sperm and my body don't mix
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Avatar universal
I agree with Judy 246.  But some of us are going to do what we want.  I was pregnant at age 17 and alone at age 20 with a child and it was ruff on both of us.  Girlfriend, rethink your goals.  Get that education, career, travel a bit and then do the kid thing.  That's why at age 30 or so you really feel the urge for a child.  But if you are just gonna do it, I'll tell you something like I told my friend years ago.  She paid all this money to a fertility clinic and came up empty.  One day we were talking and she began to cry (in her 30's-clock running out).  I calmed her down and gave her a margarita.  I told her that it was stress of TRYING to get pregnant.  It's like when you stop looking for romance-it comes along.  I told her to stop trying to get pregnant, she did and she did-she was pregnant within a few months.  Sometimes we try so hard at something, it consumes our life.  Relax, it will come.  Good luck and allow yourself to grow up before you try growing a child.
Helpful - 0
902589 tn?1268148853
YOU'RE NINETEEN!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry needed the extra emphasis on that! So you've been trying to get pregnant since you were 17?? Babies re expensive and they are A LOT  A LOT of work!

Think in your head how hard you think it is to raise a child. Got an idea of it? Good, now multiply that by about 20, and that more towards how hard it actually is. It's not all oh cute and cuddly baby. It's getting up every 30-60mins during the night, and then doing the same thing throughout the day. It is doing 3 times as much dishes/laundry/anything, and that's IF(a big if) you actually have the time to get housework done. If your breastfeeding, it means that the baby is tied to you every 1-3 hours for about 30 minutes at a time(that is IF she/he is a reasonable eater and not a slow eater) Now if your bottle feeding that means making and heating a bottle every 1-3 hours. It means you WILL NOT have much time for your bf/spouse/whoever. You're entire life will be about that baby. If you want to go to the store by yourself, forget it, that baby is coming with you, if you want a spur of the moment haircut, too bad, because you no longer get to run your own schedule. Now you are on the babies time. If you want to go out to a nice quiet peaceful dinner, not gonna happen, because the baby will come with you, and 10 to 1 even IF you fed the baby prior to leaving, the baby will want to be held and fed in the new strange environment. Heck if you want to have spontaneous s e x with your bf in the middle of the day, not gonna happen. You'll have to wait until the baby is sleeping, and then(if you are still in the mood at this point) you can have sex, oh and pray that the baby doesn't wake up in the middle of it.

Basically the baby is going to RULE your life. You will no longer have a life of your own, the baby will be your life, at least for the first couple months. And a baby will in no way help cement your relationship. A baby will push your relationship to it's limits. because you will be focused on the baby while you and your bf's needs sit on the sidelines and it'll will take months to get back on track(if your relationship CAN) in most cases.

I had my first child at 20, about 4 months before my 21st birthday, and even though I love my boy to death and would die for him if needed, it was VERY VERY hard on both me and my husband. I knew it would be hard, I knew it wasn't all peaches and cream, but even with how much work I thought was involved i was wrong. Completely wrong it was about 10 times harder than I thought. I will admit that I was spoiled back then. I was mostly independent, i had a life i loved and this came as a very big shock, and it took me months to adjust. I no longer was able to do what i wanted when i wanted, I had to go by someone else's schedule and i think that more than anything was the hardest part for me. And my son is now almost 3 and it is still hard! it does not get easier with time, it remains hard, because kids are full of little surprises that you in no way can see coming and have no way of preparing for.

Now don't get me wrong, I do love my children and do love being a mother but I thought you should know seriously how it is adn can be when you are so young and have kids.

I think the most important thing you can do, before bringing a child into the world, is have a secure future. You need to be in a stable relationship, have a secure income, because children are very expensive, and have a secure place to live. I would also recommend having a good amount of money saved up, because you never know when there will be a accident and you need money for a doctor, or when you're child will get sick.


Ok that's enough of this book, if you've read all this and still are set on having a child right now, then your best bet is to get both you and your bf checked out at a fertility clinic to make sure there is nothing preventing you from having children. And i would see a counselor about the past rape you experienced(that's horrible and NO one should have to go through that!) if you haven't already.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Also, counseling to help you deal with the trauma of being a victim to violence. Also, being married means sacred committment to each other for better or worse, financial responsibility, exclusivity, sharing in raising a family so it does have EVERYTHING to do with love, exclusivity, commitment, stability, family and sacred union. Too many unwed mothers in financial situation and the one who suffers are the innocent children.

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Your 19 yrs. old correct. You have been trying to get pregnant for 2 yrs (17 yrs)? What is your hurry young lady. Take your time, young lady, don't you hurry to grow old.

I'm sorry that you were victim to violence and that has nothing to do with your b/f ability to get you pregnant. What you should be looking at right now:

* Education (better paying job), job (income) financial stability and independence,
  health insurance (need for a pregnancy, doctor's visit, medicine, emergencies,
  hospitalization),
* Home (Rent, gas, electricity, water, food, living room, dinning room, full kitchen,
  washer, dryer (for diapers), bedroom, TV's.....get where Im going here!
* Car - Doctor visit, pediatrician visit, emergencies, gas, car insurance, monthly
  car payment.
* Money for baby cloth (every season), baby car seat, formulas, crib, stoller, etc   $$$$
* Money, for your needs, personal needs, cloths, etc  $$$$$
and much muc more.

Ok, before you decide to bring an innocent baby into this world, this baby deserves 2 parents, a home, all basic necessities met, all financial necesities met and a healthy environment. If you and your b/f are ready for this life long commitment...get married
first!  Proved the above needs and environment second and then, consider if it is the right time to give up your entire life and dedicate it to a child, until he/she is in he's/her 20's......Judy

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
being married or not has got nothing to do with trying for a baby as long as you and your partner are both stable as a couple and financially then in my opinion thats fine....just wondered...are you trying to concieve at the right time? are your periods reguiler...?
Helpful - 0
145992 tn?1341345074
You are so young still. I think it isn't happening for a reason and perhaps you should live life a little more before you bring children into the world. I don't think the fact that you were raped has anything to do with it unless you suffered some internal damage. I am sorry that you went through that. Good luck but I do think you have plenty of time before you start to worry about not being able to conceive.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
if you are not narried you do not need to get pg you are putting the cart before the horse   jo
Helpful - 0
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