How do I handle this? It's way to much.

[StressedInsomniac]

My girlfriend and I have been together since February the 21st 2011, we are madly in love with each other but seeing as she lives with her parents they don't approve of me. I've done nothing but support their daughter in everything, I help with her coursework for school, I help with her future ambitions. I show her all the love and more that she could want. When we first got together I lied to her, I was scared she'd want someone more experienced. I was a virgin, as was she. I told her I wasn't and last night I broke down and told her. She got really angry and shocked and I understood why, things over the last few days haven't been too good.

Because we have to see each other behind her parents back, we decided to stage a break up to satisfy her parents and friends. They have never approved of us being together, more so her friends. They said she deserves to be treated like a princess which I totally believe. I left school with no qualifications so I find it hard at the best of times to find work.

She is very close to some guys which of course I'm worried because she's the love of my life and I've never felt this passionate about any relationship. She's being really blunt with me and telling me that i've got one chance left. She's taken all the chances in the world, she's made me un-friend many people and she's even kissed another guy. I've given her numerous chances and she acts innocent in all of this.

I'm at a loss what to do, my emotional and mental health is at stake here and I'm unsure whether being together is a good idea for the both of us?

Do you think I should stick this out like i've promised myself or discuss in a few days when the air has cleared what our next move is?

Thanks.

[StressedInsomniac]

Well we've had a long discussion and we've decided we're going to stay together for the foreseeable future. Although there is still some awkwardness between us, we have decided that we're not letting people get involved in our relationship, after all how many people does a relationship consist of, two of course. I'm considering going self employed i'm going to see how January goes for job hunting.

[RockRose]

I agree with Specialmom.  I really think you need to work on yourself,  regardless of the girlfriend.  I can't tell how old you are,  there are two different ages in your profile although that may be due to them being added at different times.

What does come out is a feeling of utter hopelessness - your girlfriend's friends and family don't like you,  the people in your community all don't like you,  and at a very young age you appear to have given up on having a job.

I will say I find it very unusual that your girlfriend is mad that you were a virgin.  I would think the other way around.  ??

Look into your options with trade school,  finishing school,  what you can do what what education you do have,  etc.

Best wishes.

[specialmom]

Hi.  Well, let's start with you.  You seem ashamed of yourself a bit.  It doesn't help to have a girlfriend that also seems ashamed of you.  I don't know how old she is or how old you are but in general, we get to choose our own partners when we are adults.  As to the situation you have with work, this is within your control.  What about trade school?  Please look into this.  There are all sorts of things you can train to do that every place you look, they want folks to do these jobs.  Plumbing, electrical work, heating and cooling, etc.  I'm dead serious that you need to begin to start thinking about your future right now.  Regardless of girlfriend trouble or not, you need to get in a position to be financially secure.  This will help your confidence and your mental health state in its own right.  

Secondly, I can not imagine two adults 'staging' a break up to please the parents.  Then dating behind the parents back.  If this is what you have to do to be together, I would take a break from each other and wait until she is old enough, adult enough to be on her own and let her parents know who she is dating rather than being scared of their opinion.  I mean, parent opinions matter----  everyone wants peace in the family.  But a relationship that is so sneaky and hidden really can't ever grow.  Then what happens?  The parents find out that you've both lied to them???  Do you think that will make them more supportive of the whole thing?  No.  It will create a bigger mess and drama.  

So, really----  my best advice to you is to get a plan together to work on your own life.  Tell her that you'd love to date her but you aren't chopped liver and don't want to hide the relationship from her family or friends.  If she can't do it openly and with pride, then you'll have to see what happens down the road, but for now----  you need a break.  

best of luck and peace to you.