Oh I forgot to mention neither of us takes medications, drink alcohol much at all, and he doesn't have a "medical" issue that would cause an inability to have sex.
Sorry clarify this sentence: I don't know if this is payback for filing for divorce or cheating or what?
I meant I filed for divorce and could he be cheating and lying like a rug to keep his house cleaner, cook and babysitter? No one cheated in the marriage.
I think you should go ahead and pay for the two of you to go to counseling. Then you will have an unbiased third party tell him it is not just your fault. Also, you can talk about your passive aggressive nature with him as in why tell your husband that is okay if he is using someone else for sex instead of you and you'll just do your own thing . . . thems fighting words. Lastly, if you've taken the time to remarry, you might as well do something to give it a chance. goodluck
I'm curious about why you divorced him in the first place. Sounds like he wasn't a prince back then either, he was just difficult about different things than withholding sex.
If he's a terrific dad, I think you should consider staying. If he's as distant with your child as he is with you, and as punitive . . . he doesn't seem worth much.
I'm wondering what transpired to where the two of you were able to get along well enough to remarry. At some point, you must have arrived at some understanding
or realization that you were both better together; than apart. What happened?
We divorced because he was controlling and when he got mad he said what he wanted, even if it's the stuff you NEVER say to someone cause you can't take it back.
He worked hard on change and deep down is a good guy. Looks like I made the mistake again this time!!
What mistake did you make? You're misreading what people are telling you. You gave your marriage a second chance, why throw that away. Pay for the counseling and go....what's the harm in doing that? I would, if it meant that he would go and we could get some help. He's not saying no to the idea, he's just being stubborn about it. I don't think the answer to your issues is him sleeping with someone else as long as he loves you. That will NOT make your relationship better. Go to counseling and work through these issues.
It does seem a little like you already had your mind made up on this one. One good thing about counseling when you are dealing with a difficult personality---- a therapist can tell them they are difficult and it is that unbiased 3rd party opinion----- they can never say it is all you again!!
I'm curious as to why he's saying for YOU to pay for counseling when aren't you guys married? Isn't it both of your money? I agree with the others...go ahead and go through counseling and if it doesn't work out after that then maybe it's time to move on.
I did experience this with my husband of six years ago, Only he could not engage unless that I was dressed as another women. At the time I was 23, and 120lbs. Not much has changed since our divorce. You sound incredible, so thumbs up for at least not letting him take that part of you down. He says that he is not cheating, question is with whom? what guy wouldn't be turned on by 41 years of hottness, cuz they don't make them like that anymore. Don't get me wrong, I dont get down like that, but let the truth speak for itself. So either your guy is gay, and that k, or either he has some form of ED, and prob finds it easier to blame you instead of facing the prob, or getting medical attention. Sorry, just keeping it real. After my divorce, I felt angry. I started reading those stupid self help books, thinking that this might help in future situations much like this one. Not at all necessary. I am 35 years, and 128lbs of delicousness. Just remember, If one doesn't desire you someone else will. I know that you love him and want to be only with him, but it may just be time to let it go, and move on to bigger plains. Men tend to go for what they want, whereas women tend to seek what they need. So don't by any means feel ashamed of wanting the same that life has to offer. Let me know what happens.