Relationship Advice r ??

[CandiCam]

Okay so my fiance and I have been together for 6 years living together for 3 years and we have a 10 year difference. I'm 22 he is 33 and he recently popped the question on my birthday last year in November. Well we have had an ok relationship so far. We argue a lot I think it's because I don't like the way he treats me like I am a kid. I say I want kids but he says yes but never wants the action to do it. I met this new guy and he is absolutely the best only problem is he has a gf to. He is 32. We have been talking for 2 weeks and already feel I am in love. Do you guys think that I am falling in love this fast cause it is something I am being neglected from my bf. I am confused and I have no idea what to do.

[Nighthawk61]

You're in a long term relationship, and as such an Intervention for that relationship to continue might be a marriage counselor.

The fact that you are incompatible in bed, and that he talked down to you for being younger, which is apparently what he wanted , getting involved with a 16 year old girl, when he was 26.

May I ask? What did you do for you at 16 years of age? Did he push you to go to college for a better life for yourself?

I agree with the others, this guy sounds like he's a dead beat dad in the making.

[Chima7]

I don't know why any sane and rational person would even consider having a baby with someone they're not sure about. I know it happens all the time but that's like the height of absolute stupidity to put oneself in that position, not to mention how grossly unfair it is to the child who had no choice in the matter. It boggles the mind how people just don't think about consequences beforehand and then they freak out afterwards when it's too late.

So anyway, what I'm saying is, don't be one of those kind of people. In fact, do everything possible to not become one of those people.

[TTinKKerBBell]

Matter of fact, I agree with AnnieBrooke that CandiCam needs to end the engagement with present 'fiance'

I meant "nothing" as regards pregnancy with 'old' relationship, and I meant "nothing" about getting involved in a new relationship at this time
because She "is confused and has no idea what to do"

[AnnieBrooke]

I think the answer is not to do nothing, she needs to end the engagement (it's not a happy situation and sounds done), and to back off from the guy with the girlfriend.  But certainly, do NOTHING in regards to getting pregnant.  What a mess that would be, to tie herself to this obsolete relationship with the fiance with whom she no longer gets along and no longer loves.

[TTinKKerBBell]

Your Very Last Sentence:

"I am confused and I have no idea what to do"

Answer:

Do NOTHING.  Do nothing UNTIL You are no longer confused.

Certainly don't be making any Babies, They don't need/want a "confused" Mommy.

GoodLuck

[CandiCam]

Thank you. Yes I think the same. A lot has changed since I was 16. And we haven't has sex in a while. Matter of fact he is calling now. Thanks for the advice.

[CandiCam]

Thank you. My thinking is. Hey if I met the guy while he was in a relationship and he was willing to cheat on his gf with me. He would do just the same to me if we were in a relationship. I think I should be alone for a while too. Thanks.

[CandiCam]

Thank you. My thinking is. Hey if I met the guy while he was in a relationship and he was willing to cheat on his gf with me. He would do just the same to me if we were in a relationship. I think I should be alone for a while too. Thanks.

[Londres70]

What do you mean by "I say I want kids but he says yes but never wants the action to do it?"  Are you wanting children with him BEFORE you two are married?

Secondly, you really aren't being fair to your fiancé nor to the gf of the guy you are "falling in love with."  Are you really ok with a guy who would go behind his gf's back to talk and carry on with another woman, e.g. you?  Moreover, does this guy feel the same about you?  Is he wanting to leave his gf?  These are things you need to be asking yourself.

If you aren't sure who or what you want you should be alone for a bit to sort this out...........sort at your feelings, thoughts, emotions alone.  Don't go behind your fiancé's back and do this to him.  I can't condone lying/deception.

This other guy is probably just an escape from your troubled relationship with your fiancé.  I would strongly advise talking with your fiancé once again about all this BEFORE doing anything rash.

[AnnieBrooke]

One idea of what to do is to realize you're not ready to get married to guy #1 and break off the engagement.  You are a different person at 22 than you were when you were 16, and it sounds like you aren't right together any more.  Also stop talking to the other guy until you are cleanly able to be available, and until he is.  There is no true happiness if it has to come from two breakups.  Also, stay on birth control, you do not want to get pregnant now.