I was in the way all this time

[christian99]

I had been going out with Paul for a year now.  He's 37 and I am 39 years old.  He's a musician and I am someone who enjoys acting as a hobby (community theater), but it's not how I earn my living nor do I ever want to be an actor.  I do it for the fun of it and creative challenge.

Back in January I had my very first show since I have been with Paul.  He didn't come to see me, even though I have been to see 4 of his shows. I was very disappointed and told him so.  He became indignant and said that he would NOT apologize since he was supposed to have plans that night anyway.  I tried to let it go.  

When my birthday came  a few weeks ago I really wanted to see a particular Broadway play but he told me that he didn't want to spend more than $100 on tickets (even though for his birthday I spent so much money on his presents and treated him like a king!).

Cut to two weeks ago.  I called him one night in tears after hearing some devastating news about a relative. He told me that he was too busy cleaning his house to let me come over.  I begged him to just let me stay over and just lay on his couch - I didn't want to be alone and needed a shoulder to cry on.  He refused me a second time.

I did not speak with him for 4 days and when I finally did he broke up with me.  He told me that I was not cultured enough for him, I wasn't feminine enough, and that we had nothing in common other than going hiking and white water rafting!  He also said that he has always felt that women/relationships get in the way of his spiritual and personal growth - and that I had been using him all of this time!!!  

Any advice at all would be appreciated. I feel hurt, heartbroken and insulted by these false accusations.

[Life360_Dave]

Hi and really sorry this happened to you. It happened to me also. For the life of me i could not figure out why but finally concluded she was using me for sex. For a person to just flip like this shows there was no real love in the first place from him. But i have also found out that there is payback and some day a girl will do this to him also. If a way of life evening out the score.
Just suck it up for now and use this as a learning experience. I bet if you search your soul, you will see there was warning signs, so next time go with your gut feelings.
In the big picture this is all part of lifes experience, so now you and me know whats its like to be dumped.

[TTinKKerBBell]

You learned what You need to know about Him. I'm glad You weren't more invested than a year.  I'm very sorry You were hurt but He was showing Red Flags and You weren't getting it so, He bluntly told You.  I think He could have let You down easier than He did, but I still think it's better that it came now rather than later.
Of course You're Hurt, HeartBroken and Insulted but this guy did You a favor by going His own way before You had more time to care more deeply - Don't take it personally that He feels "Women/relationships get in the way of His spiritual and personal growth" - that's not about You that's about Him!
You will heal from this (I promise) and You've learned to be more attentive when a Man shows You Red Flags.

Good Luck