Aa
IS This THe Real Thing??? Advise... is thi it???
Hey,
me an my bf been together for 6yrs and everyone says how cute we together that he is so sweet, cute, respectfull, romantic (hes always suprises me with roses ect) and me im so nice, sweet girl and all. but here is my questions: Ive never been in another relationship that long im 23 an his 24 so we kind up grow up together.. i lobe him and we just got engaged on Dec... i just want to know if this is real, like imconfused i love him but sometimes i think what is there is someone else but then again i compare my bf to my friends bf AN I FEEL LUCKY his not a jerk... hes never ever done anything stupid,,, i just feel like he is too perfect... is there something wrong with me?? like he tells hell NEVER do anything to drive me away from him.. and he HAS never dine nothing...if im sad hes there, if i need something whatever hell find a wasy to get for me.. like inconditional... im confused... im going to marry him but just dont want to this perfect guy once we marry hell change.. maybe im just over thinking the situation idk. hes just perfect and LOVES more that anything... and i LOVE him too, i just dont know if what im feeling is normal??? coonfused.
please help.,
me an my bf been together for 6yrs and everyone says how cute we together that he is so sweet, cute, respectfull, romantic (hes always suprises me with roses ect) and me im so nice, sweet girl and all. but here is my questions: Ive never been in another relationship that long im 23 an his 24 so we kind up grow up together.. i lobe him and we just got engaged on Dec... i just want to know if this is real, like imconfused i love him but sometimes i think what is there is someone else but then again i compare my bf to my friends bf AN I FEEL LUCKY his not a jerk... hes never ever done anything stupid,,, i just feel like he is too perfect... is there something wrong with me?? like he tells hell NEVER do anything to drive me away from him.. and he HAS never dine nothing...if im sad hes there, if i need something whatever hell find a wasy to get for me.. like inconditional... im confused... im going to marry him but just dont want to this perfect guy once we marry hell change.. maybe im just over thinking the situation idk. hes just perfect and LOVES more that anything... and i LOVE him too, i just dont know if what im feeling is normal??? coonfused.
please help.,
just enjoy your happiness,just because your parents marriage didnt work,dont mean your wont,you have a loving man whom you love back,just keep it real and enjoy.
To respond:
We have different religious belives... i just feel i know everything about him and there is nothing else New... i feel so BAD having this fealing... my parent got divorced and i feel like maybe i will too. and YEs this is a big decition to make whether he is or not the one... but there is no one else in my mind or heart but him... I dont have guy friends or interact with guys cause i feel thats not right... so the only guy i talk too is my BF. like i sayd in another post ive never dated anyone but my bf... i wount Not have the strenght to just let go of him. i HAVE NO Reason!!! see he never gives me a reason So i have No reason Y i feel like this. idk what to do.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hm. Well, I never think it is a great thing when we really question if we are about to marry the right one. No one can tell you if he is the right one or not----------- that is your call. Your heart, gut and head should all agree that this is the right decision.
I look at marriage as a whole package. I look at it from the "business side"-------- this includes such thngs as if we share the same goals, the same religious faith, the same ideas about family, the same ideas on financial issues (how we are going to spend our money), same ideas on how we will structure our household, if we want kids, etc. All of that must be discussed and issues talked about before marriage or . . . if you have a major difference in the "business" end of marriage and can't compromise---------- the relationship could very well fall apart. People often ignore these things and say love will get you through . . . it usually doesn't. It is good to be as similar in values as possible or able to verbalize where you differ and where each of you will compromise.
The second part of marriage is the love stuff. Important too. Must be attracted to them, like their personality most of the time, feel that those warm and fuzzy feelings for them.
Third, the gut. This is what screams at you that something is wrong or tells you to relax, it is okay. It is just something I say to not ignore either way as sometimes if the business side of marriage and the love side of marriage aren't matching up----------- it is your gut that tells you and it can also make you feel better when you have a moment of doubt about things as well.
Is pre marriage counseling something you could do? I think every couple should do it because it gets the questions that are important out in the open and gets couples to start discussing them. I learned a lot about my husband to be in premarital counseling.
But you do worry me as you also posted earlier about wondering what it is like to go on a first date.
Anyway, you must look within to find out if this marriage is the right way to go or not. Good luck
I look at marriage as a whole package. I look at it from the "business side"-------- this includes such thngs as if we share the same goals, the same religious faith, the same ideas about family, the same ideas on financial issues (how we are going to spend our money), same ideas on how we will structure our household, if we want kids, etc. All of that must be discussed and issues talked about before marriage or . . . if you have a major difference in the "business" end of marriage and can't compromise---------- the relationship could very well fall apart. People often ignore these things and say love will get you through . . . it usually doesn't. It is good to be as similar in values as possible or able to verbalize where you differ and where each of you will compromise.
The second part of marriage is the love stuff. Important too. Must be attracted to them, like their personality most of the time, feel that those warm and fuzzy feelings for them.
Third, the gut. This is what screams at you that something is wrong or tells you to relax, it is okay. It is just something I say to not ignore either way as sometimes if the business side of marriage and the love side of marriage aren't matching up----------- it is your gut that tells you and it can also make you feel better when you have a moment of doubt about things as well.
Is pre marriage counseling something you could do? I think every couple should do it because it gets the questions that are important out in the open and gets couples to start discussing them. I learned a lot about my husband to be in premarital counseling.
But you do worry me as you also posted earlier about wondering what it is like to go on a first date.
Anyway, you must look within to find out if this marriage is the right way to go or not. Good luck
If you love him, there shouldn't be a question as to whether there is someone out there for you. My advice is don't get married unless you are 100% sure this is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with . . .
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