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Im afraid of telling my parents about my painful groin

Let me start by saying that my parents are very religious and strict about what you can/can't do. According to others on this site I really need to see a doctor, but how do I tell my parents without getting nails on my coffin. I'm scared that they will do the same thing as last time when I forgot food for my younger sister. Mum threw me out onto the street and said that she never wanted to see me again. And that literally scared the daylights out of me. I just dont't nknow how too twell them without alteringbthe firm strong relationship? This has been the door that I can't enter, once I've told them my mentalility will be fixed.
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207091 tn?1337709493
Well, you're 18, right? In most countries, that makes you an adult. I know that even when you're legally an adult, at 18, most of the time, you're still dependent on your parents for a lot of things, including money.

And I don't know what you've done sexually, but what you are describing isn't anything like an STD, and things go wrong with your genitals that have nothing to do with sex. Women (and men) get breast cancer, right? That's not sexual.

Even really religious parents have to know that things unrelated to sex can happen to your body. Virgin men can get testicular cancer (which I don't think you have, but you are in the age range for it).  Men can get urinary tract infections without ever having sex.

I understand that one of your symptoms is painful erections, but can you skip that symptom when talking to your parents? If you've had sex, you don't need to tell them. Do you need their permission to see a doctor where you are? (And you don't need to tell us where you are.)

Not knowing where you are, I don't know how your health care system works. If you have any family planning clinics where you are, you can call them and ask about that.

I'm not a deeply religious parent, but I'd definitely want to know if you were my kid. I'm sorry you're so afraid of your parents. Is there another trusted adult you can talk to? A friend or uncle or even a school nurse or counselor or something?
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Thanks Ill talk to my dad as he is less leniant toward the topic he gave me the talk. And I think a man to man discussion is wiser, Ill tell him tonight, just say that my groin is painful. See how far I get thank you for your words first time Ive opened up and it does feel good that the issue is somewhat off my shoulders. Thanks.
You can imply to your dad that it could be a hernia, a torn groin muscle, or may be a urinary tract infection; none of these things are sexually transmitted and for all you know, what you have is one of those things and nothing that would make your parents angry anyway. It's up to the doctor to tell you what it actually is, and probably you do not have to have your parent in the room when you and the doctor talk.
(And as auntiejessie said to you earlier, it could be an infection of the prostate. That does not come from masturbation, either.)

The point is, it sounds like an infection, not like a problem caused by masturbating. When you talk with your dad, give him the list of what it could be (prostate infection, urinary tract infection, torn muscle, hernia), and stick with possibilities that have nothing to do with masturbation. People do not get pain as you have described from masturbation -- it sounds like you are guessing wrong about the cause of the issue...don't put yourself into jeopardy with your family by volunteering that is what it came from when you have no idea if that is really the problem.

Good luck!
Thanks guys still feel wierd about it but I hope my parents understand
Update told dad he'll tell my mum so now I hope for the best thanks a lot guys. It means a lot more than a thank you.
Awesome! How'd it go? Are you going to the doctor?

Let us know how it all goes.
That's great, I hope you get in to see the doctor soon. You have suffered with this too long.

If you are taken to the doctor by one of your parents, they should be able to handle it if you tell them that you would prefer to talk to the doctor on your own. They don't in fact have the right to listen in (you are an adult, after all), and you can make it easier by just implying that your desire to talk to the doctor without them in the room is out of general embarrassment to be talking about your privates in front of a parent. I'm sorry to sound like I'm suggesting subterfuge, but your mother being so harsh in threatening to kick you out of the house that time, she brought it on herself for you not to want to tell her anything.

Once you are alone with the doctor, you could ask about masturbation or whatever sexual thing is worrying you, but again, I don't think what you sound like you have is from masturbating. You notice the pain when you masturbate, bit it sounds more like an infection. All the more reason to see a doctor, long-term infection is not a good thing to have.

Good luck, I hope it all works out well for you.

At the moment I cant go to the doctor as Im out with family for a little holiday but more importantly patience is key for medication. I feel less well suicidal now (I did attempt to hurt myself before telling anyone and I did inform dad about it) all because of yous thanks. More updates later I guess.
Keep us posted, we worry.  :-)  And no more talk of self-harm over something that antibiotics can probably fix, or us mommies here will wag our fingers at you for being over-reactive. ; - )

I have a son who is 13. If he came to me and told me that he had hidden a medical problem that was paining him for many years out of fear that I would be angry, I would be  seriously ashamed of myself that he was so scared of me. I don't know what your mother's problem was that she threatened to throw you out of the house for forgetting to feed your sister a meal, maybe she was having an extraordinarily bad day or maybe that is the way she is all the time, but in your shoes I think I would have to make the decision to detach emotionally. You didn't cause her to be like this (even if she blames others for her emotional reactions, it's her, not them) and you certainly don't deserve to be this scared of the people whose primary job in life is to take care of you and raise you safely.  

Anyway, write back when you get a diagnosis from the doctor. Like I said, we worry.  :-)
Both parents know now thankfully, and I have a planned apointment a few days after I get back.
Good. :) Let us know what happens.
Well bad news for my part got a really bad stomach bug and the appointment has been shifted a week out. The only wierd thing is that the doctor is girl, dunno how itll go but yeah cant really hustle while sick.
A suggestion would be that you start a journal here on your  home page which might work better for this type of discussion. Hoping you get it sorted out.
Doctors, male and female, have treated people of both sexes for all of their professional careers. (For example, there are a lot of male gynecologists.) They have seen so many problems (many much more unusual than yours) and so many body parts that nothing about their gender impacts their professionalism. Basically, I'm saying even girl doctors have heard it all. Or, if it really bothers you, call the clinic yourself and ask if your appointment can be with a male doctor. Anyway, sorry about the stomach bug, I hope it's better. Good luck at the doctor's. I hope you get a definite answer and it solves your painful problem.
A lot of people think women docs are more sympathetic and gentler, so there's that. To her, your penis is the same as your elbow. I know it's not the same for you, but I promise she's seen and heard a lot worse.

Hope you feel better soon - stomach bugs are the worst.
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