Is is normal for my boyfriend to secretly watch open on his phone during sex with me

[tamaran1]

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. We are both attractive people and have sex regularly . The other night we were fooling around with foreplay and right before he started having sex with me I noticed he out his phone down. Surprised he had his phone in his hand but was in the moment so brushed it off. After he fell asleep I looked at the phone and discovered he had been watching a video of a women masturbating while having sex with me. When I confronted him he acted like was overacting and all guys watch porn. But my problem isn't with the porn its why was he watching her while touching me without my knowledge. I feel so humiliated and betrayed. I'm there in person naked and ready and he's choosing to watch her. And I have masturbated in front of him so he could have asked to watch me.  Should I be worried

[specialmom]

I'm just wondering how things are going and if you ever talked to him about this?  

[specialmom]

I'm also going to say NOPE that is not normal.  I mean, okay.  Some guys need that visual but we have our brains for that.  And some guys like the quick release of porn.  But you know . . . when in the middle of the act with their partner, kind of weird and rude to have the phone open watching porn. Unless you enjoy it as well.  ASK him about it.  What's the deal with this, honey?

[Nighthawk61]

NOPE most women would be insulted and peeved sort of being treated like a paid (or unpaid) escort , no? that kind of fetish should be discussed like any other, but this smuck didn't give you the time of day to even run it by you YOU could do better * ask him how he'd F E E L *ASSUMING HE CAN  if you needed to watch  a guy masterbate when you and he had sex > this guy isn't very deep : he cannot or will not empathize with your feelings - have you thought about movin on from the relationship before this ?  i mean are you settling in more than one way with this guy? it might make leaving easier if you were -  thing is he wants to include other women at least virtually into your bed and this is the way he asks? not a lot of effort on his part : maybe he's not very bright? or he doesn't care about your feelings? what a mean way to shoot down his woman

[AnnieBrooke]

Worried? I don't see "worried" as the response here. If you took it as a huge discount of you and the immediacy of your presence in his life (and bed), I would say it was definitely a huge putdown. He was saying you were more uninteresting than a person he (I assume) didn't know on his teeny-tiny little phone screen who was (supposedly) masturbating. It also says he is at least as interested sex disconnected from a real human being (masturbating to an image) as he is in having a real interaction with a live person.

You ask "should I worry about this," and I'd say, no, you decide about this. You don't bother to worry. You just decide, do you want to be with someone whose heart is not in the relationship? And you go or stay (or kick him out) accordingly.