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Avatar universal

Is she lying about being pregnant?

Ok here goes.
I was seeing this girl for about a month and we had sex about 4 or 5 times. She was on the pill and i know its stupid but I didnt wear a condom but only remember ejaculating a couple of times. I told her i didnt want to see her again and just wanted to be friends. After about a week of her trying to get me back, basically begging for me to see her and get back together, she texted me sating she was pregnant. I phoned her and said it wasnt mine, suppose just in denial. She said yes it is but I didnt believe her. She had a period and after that we didnt have sex again, she now claims the period lasted 2 days so i am confused a little.
I cant have a baby right now, i am only 19 and just getting my life started. I know i was stupid and i will always wear a condom from now on.
She also said she was 7 weeks pregnant so i said well its not me then is it. she then insisted she was 3 weeks pregnant but told me the doctor could feel her stomach and tell she was pregnant. Thats impossible at 3 weeks though. Iv seen her facebook page and she hasnt even told any of her best friends or even posted anything similiar to being pregnant etc. Her mum and dad wont even bother contacting my parents to see what to do. I have asked for her to get an abortion but she wont. I am going on holiday next week and it just so happens the day after i come back she has a 45 minute appointment at the doctors. what the hell are they going to do in 45 minutes. I just dont know what to believe. oh and i said this doesnt change anything, i still dont want anything to do with her and she said ok then i she never wants to hear from me again. Thats the last time I heard from her and that was 2 days ago. Opinions would be appreciated.
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Avatar universal
Its confirmed that she is pregnant. she showed me the sheets and pregnancy booklet that the midwife has given her, and when she concieved. Today though she was bleeding and was being sick so went to the hospital, they checked her and gave her a scan and the heart beat was still there so wasnt a misscarriage. But when I got back from holiday, she told me she had made a decision and was going to get a termination. She made an appointment with the midwife and she then referred her to the hospital and said it would be about a weeks wait. She is now 8 weeks pregnant so would have to take a pill for the abortion and not the vaccum. Iv told her if thats what she wants to do I will support her, at the end of the day, we can not afford a child and we barely know eachother, she is a part-time barmaid and im only an apprentice. Its crazy and would probably ruin our careers (she wants to be a school teacher). If she goes through with it yes I will feel bad and upset but I will do my best to help her. My heads all over the place right now.
Helpful - 0
1456694 tn?1307394163
Yeah, I'm not quite sure if she's pregnant either :P I agree, adoption would be a good option for both of them! I'm not much for abortion either, but I never say don't because I know that everyone has their own opinion of it. If someone wants to do that, then it's really their choice :P I'm not sure if the girl in this is ok with it, though?
Helpful - 0
973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Maybe I missed something you two but have you confirmed she really is pregnant?  

I'm not a fan of abortion, by the way.  Not because I think it is wrong but because it has such an emotional impact on the women who do it.  Years later-------- they are often still sad about it.  

Adoption is a good option and a win win for everyone.  

But I really think I would not go down the road of long chats with her about her options-----  I don't believe you even know for sure if she is pregnant yet.
Helpful - 0
1456694 tn?1307394163
Yeah, but at least she's thinking about her options right now :) Maybe when you come back she'll have made a different choice. She probably isn't ready for this either, and just doesn't know what she should do. I'm glad you guys at least got to talk about it.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thats me had a talk with her. She said she is going to consider abortion but still isnt 100% sure and its a hard decision. Iv said I cant be a dad and we are too young for all this, she is trying to get back together now but I have said I cant when there is a kid involved. Im on holiday tomorrow so I need to get away from her and let her think, I hope she sees sense and it is the right choice.
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1456694 tn?1307394163
Okk! :D I'm here wishin you luck that she'll be reasonable! :D
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Avatar universal
Thank you :)
I will write up here what happened after I have talked to her.
Helpful - 0
1456694 tn?1307394163
Good luck, Dear!! Hopefully you can figure things out, and she'll do the right thing. You guys aren't ready for such a HUGE change in your lives, and it's not something you should do this young without the support of each other :(
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
My mum phoned her mum asking for her to get an abortion as its for the best. I am seeing her tomorrow and having a talk. Im going to try make her see sense, you cant bring a child up with 2 parents that hate eachother and have not got the money to give it a good life.
I go on holiday with my mates on Tuesday so I am going to demand an answer tomorrow. Hopefully she will see sense
Helpful - 0
1456694 tn?1307394163
I completely understand :( At 19, the idea of being a parent when you're not financially stable, or mentally stable, is just too much. So maybe what you should do is just let her do this without you? What has mom said about it?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Iv tried talking to her about it and talking as if we are friends. I want an abortion, I am only 19 and currently doing an apprenticeship. I dont have much money and still live with my mum!
I cant have a child now, its the best thing to do but she cant seem to see it :/
Helpful - 0
1456694 tn?1307394163
Well, I would think you would at least want SOME part in your baby's life! I would want to at least get partial custody of the baby is she decides to keep it. You COULD try to talk to her about getting an abortion, but you have to try to build up a friendship or she'll just get mad at you for talking to her about it :( I think you should just really try to find a way to become friends with her, so you can talk to her about all these things. What would you want to do about it, though?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
yeah suppose so :(
if she is pregnant and you were in my shoes, what would you do? Say i took a DNA test and it was mine, but she didnt want anything to do with me and disnt ask for anything, what would you do?
Helpful - 0
1456694 tn?1307394163
I can't blame you for thinking about it so much :( It would be nice if there were some way you could just know already, but waiting it out might be all you can do :(
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thanks for your reply, I go on holiday on Tuesday and she said she is going on the 22nd just a day after i get back. She says she never wants to hear from me again, my mates, mum, dad and work mates have told me just to ignore her and wait it out. Its just I cant stop thinking about it, its killing me and I dont want it to ruin my holiday.
Helpful - 0
1456694 tn?1307394163
Honestly, it sounds really iffy, because of the way she tells you one thing and then a little later will tell you another thing. I know you say that you don't want to have anything to do with her anymore, but I think what you should do is insist that you go to the doctor with her. The fact that she hasn't posted anything on facebook yet it's really an indicator of anything, because some people just don't want to say those things right away :P But the fact that she was on the pill confuses me how she could have gotten pregnant anyway? I REALLLLLY suggest you go with to the doctor!
Helpful - 0
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