This situation is very stressful for me and the fact that am completely dependent upon him because we work together and its him who have the upper hand in the business. And now Its either we continue to work together and clear our debts and get back my money or nothing. I really doubt he is going to stop.
Legally its not allowed where I live.
I don't want my son growing and seeing this as a role model.
However when he calls out for his dad my heart aches.
Sweetie, natural or not, your boyfriend is an addict. When a substance is allowed to infiltrate someone's life to the point in which they will choose their drug of choice over their loved ones is a classic sign of dependence. Your warning bells are going off so I think deep down you know this. You have tough choices ahead. Codependence happens when we minimize the impact someone's addiction has and don't draw a boundary. Don't be codependent. His words mean nothing--- only actions matter. so, you need to tell him that you are no longer comfortable with his drug use whether recreationally or otherwise and that you feel he may have a problem and that you two together can look into getting him some help. There are meetings similar to AA for this.
Now, I get that weed is legal in some places (but still NOT legal in the majority of the US which leads to the whole implication of legalities like if your landlord smells pot in your place if you live in an apartment, they can convict you, drug screenings for jobs, possession charges, etc.) BUT) Don't think you are alone that you are seeing things differently now that you are a parent. I was the same way! You sound like a good mama trying to do the best for your family. Hopefully your partner cooperates. Let us know how it goes!
This is a really tough position for you to be in. I'm sorry. There are some questions....do you still love your husband? If he were to genuinely quit the drugs, would you still want to be there? It takes a lot of courage and strength to stand up and say no more. I commend you for that! Is pot legal where you live? I ask this because if it's not, and you know he is in possession of it, you could turn him in. Maybe that would scare him straight? I don't know all of the legalities, but if you have a vested interest in your company, and you're married, are you like co-owners or something? I think any divorce lawyer who is worth anything should be able to get you your share out of that business. I know it's heartbreaking to have to separate your child from his daddy. I've been there. In the long run, though, it is what's best for him. It's no good for a child to grow up seeing his daddy passed out/strung out on drugs. I wish you and your baby boy all the best!