Is this a normal mother daughter relationship?

[GhostGirl19]

I don't know if this is normal or not. I'm a 19 year old female who moved out around 7 months ago. I see a therapist from depression and anxeity. Mostly from the emotional abuse from my mom. I know that's not nessarily normal but that that's not what I'm asking about.
So up to the age of 6 or 7 my mom let me play with her breasts. My dad drove truck so he was away a lot and my sister and I would take turns sleeping with her so she wouldn't be alone, this lasted until I was 9 or 10.
More recently though when I go to visit my family my mom is always very touchy has been for years. Always touching my sister and I's breasts and buts. Whether by poking or squeezing them. I was wearing this soft leggings one day when I was visting them. I let her feel them the day I got them not when they were on my or anything. So I sat down beside her and was talking to her to catch up. She asked about my leggings I told her they were my soft ones from (store name I can't remember the store). So she felt just above my knee I didn't think anything of it because my sister did the same thing but then she kept touching my legs. And running her hand up and down from my upper thigh to my knee.
Was she just feeling my leggings??
Another time I was visting right after work. My work pants are too big and she always pulls on the front of them like what parents do to their kids when their young to see if the pants fit. But she seemed to pull it longer almost like she was looking at my under where or something I felt very uncomfortable.
This not everything. But this is a general idea. Is this normal behaviour for my mom??
Or is she being too touchy??
I'm just concerned becuase I have what I'm ausuming to be false flashbacks of sexual abuse. But what mostly concerns me is she works at a daycare...

[specialmom]

Hi.  Well, I don't know. I'm really affectionate with my kids.  As kids get older, they often dictate how affectionate a parent is.  My older son would let me know, I'm sure, if he didn't like the hug or kiss on the head, etc.  Do you let her know?  Do you set a boundary?  Most adults don't touch other people's breasts or butts.  I guess I would give my sons a love swat on the rear end in jest.  But not a squeeze and a rub.  For your sake, set your own boundary.  you can say "okay mom.  Enough of the leg rubbing-- you already felt the pants" in a funny tone of voice so it gets the point across without being mean about it.  She grabs your breast "mom, you gotta stop that. Your space, my space.  No touching my breasts or private parts!"  Just say it to her.  Be firm without being mad about it.

I don't know if you can accuse your mom of molesting children.  That's a pretty huge and serious allegation.  You can talk to her in a different way though.  You can say that you are concerned that she 'touches' too much and hope she doesn't do that at her job and see her reaction.  

Have you been to a therapist to discuss possible sexual abuse?  what does your sister say about things in the home?

[AnnieBrooke]

I think in your shoes I would feel the same way.  It seems like she has no boundaries.  My mom was very affectionate, but she never stroked my leg or looked into my pants.  I'm glad you have therapy!  If your flashbacks of sexual abuse aren't false, you will need the help so you can bear up under the sadness.  I'm sorry your mom is like this, is she like this with your sister also or only you?  You're going to have to tell her the boundaries because she doesn't know them, and you're going to have to deal with her reaction (which will probably be a protesting one).  Or you're going to have to not see her.  I would certainly tell her that if she can't keep her hands to herself you won't come around.

I'm really sorry, it sounds like she is very unaware of what is appropriate between parent and child.  Incest is out there, don't let her go that way.  I'm sorry it has to be on you to stop her and not on her to act like a human being with the normal taboos between adult and child, mother and child.

[AnnieBrooke]

What I mean is, a parent is supposed to protect her child.  I'm sorry you are having to be on the defensive, that is unfair and wrong of her to put it on you to manage the relationship.