I have the same situation that you describe happening to me now. It has been a few years. I understand the inability to stop with them. Talking about it doesnt release it. You have to let yourself feel without guilt. He will go through his stuff.
You’re not alone in this. What you described is exactly what im living. Most people wont understand because you cant until youve lived it.
Yeah I suppose so, he's done me a favor really.
This deserves repeating:
You DO have a choice in how someone treats you. If it isn't good, you move on and find someone else that WILL treat you well.
I also agree that, if after a year you're still kind of obsessing over the situation, it's time to get help. You'll learn ways of moving on, and quit putting so much importance finding answers to questions that, in the grand scheme of things, don't really matter anymore. He treated you poorly, he ended the friendship (which was probably a Godsend), and in the end, you'll be better off.
Yes, I agree with Londres that now this is becoming more about you needing to let it go verses what he is and isn't.
Move on and next time, when someone begins being unkind to you- don't wait for a long time to leave but do it right away. You DO have a choice in how someone treats you. If it isn't good, you move on and find someone else that WILL treat you well.
This is over. Let it rest. good luck
To reiterate......the best thing you can do in regards to this is to seek a THERAPIST for yourself.
There are unfortunately terrible people out there that portray themselves as decent people and unfortunately you got fooled by one of them, however, you shouldn't give this person or this situation so much power over your life to the point you are constantly obsessing over it.
You really need to release this anger and bitterness and move on. Don't waste anymore of your life obsessing over this. It doesn't matter whether this person is a Sociopath or not.......don't worry about that. Just move on.
I think just about everyone has had someone in his/her life than was "less than honest" and fooled them. The important thing is to live and learn NOT stay bitter and angry for the rest of your life.
I think it's also the fact, deep down I think they might be leaning towards being a sociopath, I really didn't want to believe it, I felt sick, it's like the person you think they or they are trying to be, there not that at all, it's just a smoke screen. I really don't get it.
The name has been removed, didn't realise you couldn't delete it yourself as I've only just signed up, i don't know what the law is in America, is it aginst the law to talk about someone in the past tense if it's true, I actually feel quite bad for anyone he might be doing the same thing to,.There is quite a lot I've missed out what he had done that I'm not going into but if I was with someone abusive, should I have just sat back and taken it, I did think it was more trouble then it's worth though... I think its the fact I was reeled in by this person and they played on my sympathy and they was trying to make me they wanted and needed help so it was quite a deep intense close relationship/friendship but on top of that they was pulling the wool over my eyes and holding stuff back and was trying to attack me psychologically and bring down my self worth. I was confused but when they cut me off I started to realise what was actually happeneing.
I like your quick, right on point summation of this situation! Absolutely agree.
If its been a year and you are still feeling like this you need to consult a therapist to help you to get past this.
I think it's a bad idea that you've publicly named someone who is trying to escape from your friendship. If you can, I think you should try to get this post removed before he might take legal action to keep you from subjecting him to further public harassment.
I'm sorry that you've gone through so much pain in this, but at this point if you don't work to have this removed he might have grounds to charge you with stalking.
Best wishes. I know at this point it doesn't do you much good to say "move on", I'm sure you've thought of that but somehow you just are unable to.
Lots of information here that I worked hard to follow. When you are referring in plural, you are speaking of this one person, correct?
I tell you, from all that you wrote, I'm not sure why you WANTED to be friends with him. You state he didn't treat you well throughout the frienship. What was so attractive about being his friend?
I'm wondering if you wouldn't benefit from speaking with a counselor to try to explore why you were attracted to this situation. It is easy and okay at times to blame someone else but really, when we find ourselves in a bad situation like this, it helps to be introspective and figure out why you participated in it at all. Being self protective and moving on when someone isn't good to us is a healthy reaction. When that doesn't happen, I worry. You were drawn to this unhealthy person and that is something for you to figure out as to why.
It is okay to be sad when a relationship ends and particularly if we didn't want it to and it did so in an unsavory way. Sad is okay and a normal response. If you feel you are slipping into clinical depression, you should speak to your doctor.
But understanding why we are still trying to attach to an unhealthy situation is really key in not repeating it.
good luck