How do you balance three girlfriends?

[AmbassadorofAwesome69]

Some of ya'll might recognize this as a branch from another forum but here goes:

Let's call my cousin's friend "Beyonce".  So, I basically approached my Aunt first who said Beyonce would be a great catch for me or my cousin but Beyonce actually approached my Aunt (they grew fairly close) and my Aunt got the hint that Beyonce actually felt she had more in common with me and that my cousin was just "using" Beyonce for, well, you know.  So, my Aunt said I should ask her to hang out but not before asking my cousin so I did.  He basically said, "She's not mine.  Do what you want."  So, naturally Beyonce said yes, even asking did I ask my cousin which I told her I did.

However, in an odd twist, I asked an ex-girlfriend, let's call her "Tyra", to accompany me to the movies.  We've been to the movies twice after our break-up.  We actually went all the way to an engagement before breaking it off.  We are unhealthy as a couple but great as friends.  But, she stays WAY too busy and just won't answer.  So, there's a movie out this weekend which I asked her to and she didn't answer so I moved on (yep, I asked Beyonce) only to have her text last night and say she would have gone.  I have a special place in my heart for her because I actually loved her.  She was the best woman I'd ever been with despite how it ended.  So, now I find myself wanting to go with her - even as friends - because I feel as if the other would be a "date" and I"m retired!!

Then, to make it even more complicated, I signed up for EHarmony and have talked to an awesome woman, let's call her "Mandy".  Mandy and I have a lot in common and she sounds like a really, really exciting woman (you have no idea!)  So, even though we may not make it the movies, there is a possibility for a future relationship.  However, what happens if Beyonce also forms an attraction - more than just friends??  I told myself last night that I can't lie.  If Tyra made a move, (you know what I mean!) I would go for it just because I'm comfortable and compatable with her (plus its been eight damn months).  If Beyonce made a move, I would go third base but not a homerun simply based on the fact that, for now, I still view her as my cousin's girl even though they only dated and did the nasty only two or three times.

My mind, my heart, and my penis are telling me three different things.  I tried to make it short but feel free to ask questions to clarify.  Ugggggg, thoughts???

[Ashelen]

It says you're from Jacksonville, FL? If that's the case, that is NOT a small town and there are a TON of prospects there. If you live even remotely close to Jax you could travel to any of the bigger cities around there to meet someone (St. Augustine, Panama City, Gainesville, Daytona); I live in North Florida so I know that there are very few places that would be too far to drive for a weekend date, unless you start looking in central or south Florida. So...branch out. Good luck!

[sweetpea03]

You always need to follow your head over your heart(and I am talking about your head with a brain in it). Logically, do what you know is the better choice and then you can let the rest of it fall into place. Game playing is immature, so move on from that. And do you really want family drama? no. So move on from there, too. Have a good time dating Mandy, and see where it goes.

[AmbassadorofAwesome69]

Good points as always!  Well, I"m not getting out there anymore because, one, my town is small and doesn't have very many places to "meet".  Plus, I did that after my divorce.  Then, a couple of years after I met "Tyra" which even led to an engagement.  But, that ended bad.  I dated a couple more times after her which were purely sexual (sorry).  Then, I have taken a year off at this point and "Tyra" was a MASTER at "playing the games" and I don't want games.  I'm nearly 38 years old and I don't have the time or energy.  I want to skip the games and want to know if I'm compatable with someone right away.  Then, you can focus on what you have in common because you already know it.

Yes, I think "Mandy" the Eharmony woman is my best bet.  She's my age, mature, responsible, a nurse, honest, and I like her already.  There's just something that tells me "DON'T DO IT" when I think of continuing to go out "as friends" with Tyra and, definitely (as we have discussed at length) with Beyonce.  Beyonce is a great person but the whole cousin-jumping thing still gets to me.  

O, I just titled it that because I thought it would be a little attention-getter.  Oops.  

[specialmom]

Well, first--------------- don't call them girlfriends.  Girlfriend implies a relationship that you don't have with these women.  You are just dating around and not committed and that is alright.  You need to be clear that you are doing this with all the women (these three and any others that come along).  Just let them know that they should date others as you are dating others too.  

I still think you should leave your cousin's girlfriend alone.  No matter what your aunt says-------  I really think that it isn't worth any bad feelings that could come out of you being in the picture before they officially break up and immediately after.  And really, what kind of quality girl jumps straight away to someone's cousin?  Not too top notch.  

The old girlfriend---------- well, you said you were unhealthy as a romantic couple.  Make sure you stay friends then and tell her that as well.  

The new person on Eharmony.  Well, that sounds like a winner.  I'd think of her as your best prospect and still try to see if there are any other women there that seem interesting.

And lastly, I wonder why you are not meeting anyone live and in person these days and going to girlfriends of family, old girlfriends and dating sites to meet people.  Are you having trouble getting out there?  What kind of social life do you have?  Are there areas of your life that can be improved overall?

So, these are just my thoughts on the subject, take them for what they are worth.  I wish you luck as you figure it all out!