Long distance? :\

[iwouldbdanielle]

One of my greatest friends lives in New York, while I live in Ohio. We've been friends for well over a year and I'm super close with him. For a while... we've been talking constantly and always talking couple-y. I really really really really really like him, to the point where I think about him all the time. I knowwww he likes me. But the distance? We are both realistic enough to handle it... but the fact that we haven't actually met face to face.

I know all that crud about online predators, but we met through a friend, so I know he's not a creep. I don't knooww whattt toooo dooooooo. :S

[iwouldbdanielle]

That's life. Living, putting it all out there, getting hurt, learning from mistakes. I'm pretty cautious, so I think I'll be okay. :] Thanks for the concern and advice <3

[Judy246]

Oh, sweety, I didn't realize that you are so young. You both have your entire life ahead of you and it's ok to hope and dream for the best, but also be realistic, this can go in any direction ok. There is school, family, friends, no car and a lot can happen in a year. I believe that if it's meant to be, it will happen naturally :), but this also happened to me in my youth and it didn't work out, not because I didn't want it to, because I fell in love with the guy, but after a while, we both realized, it was just too expensive and difficult to be flying back and forth from state to state, so I don't want to discourage you (didn't realize you were so young).  So just be careful, because I wouldn't want to hear that you got hurt, have fun and live life to the fullest. Hugs, Judy

[iwouldbdanielle]

He's 16, so only a year older than me. And I'm not one of those air-headed, one-sided people. I AM realistic, and I know the odds of us getting married or anything isn't very likely. But still...

Our mutual friend lives nearest to me. He's planning on coming down here in about a year, so... yeah. I don't want to wait that long but I don't have my liscense and my mom doesn't like me enough to drive me all the way up there. His parents just went through a rough divorce so I doubt they would.

I think that we could... work it out, because it's not like we're going to promise each other rainbows and sunshine. We know relationships in general aren't easy, and we aren't going to be all "Oh I love you" after the first week. Real life just isn't like that, and for people who are like that... well, it's basically lying.

Anyways, thanks for replying, people.

[Judy246]

p.s.lighen up too!

[Judy246]

No apology here Linda!

[LindaTX]

Boy, that sounded jaded.  Don't burst her bubble, Judy.  Lighten up!  I doubt she's going to marry the guy.  Why shouldn't you put your emotions out there?  When you're young that's what you do.  Life is too short and boring to play it safe all the time.  I'm not saying don't use good judgment and throw caution to the wind. I'm just saying sometimes its better to take a chance and follow your heart.

[Judy246]

Long distance relationship rarely work out. You don't really know him, see him or spend quality time with each other, which is necessary for growth and intimacy. You stated you haved a friend, but in reality you seem to have fallen in love with what could be. Proceed with caution and don't put your emotions out there in a situation that just might not be. Good luck...Judy

[broke123]

i agree. i think you should set up a trip, include your friend for the first time. Just so you could meet this person and see if its even worth your time. In today's day and age, many people meet via internet and have long distance relationships. So its not that unusual to marry someone you formed an online bond with first. If you dont try, you will always wonder...

[LindaTX]

If the two of you have a mutual friend that you consider a reliable source, a person that you feel like you can trust, that ought to count for something.  Is he the same age as you or older?  That can make a big difference if he's a lot older. Does your mutual friend live closer to you or him?  Maybe you could meet in person at your mutual friend's place.  Long-distance relationships are hard no matter what age you are but they can work out. If you decided to ditch the relationship without meeting him face to face, it seems like you would always wonder...