Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
1415482 tn?1459702714

Making ammends

So I have not spoken to my ex who also happens to be my child's father in about a month or so. Its not that he hasn't been there for her its just that when he comes around I do not open my mouth and say two words to him. I do not entertain any types of small talks with him. I am not angry at him anymore, I just don't want to speak with him. However, I would hate for this to continue for a very long time. I am one of those people who thinks that while you must not shelter your kids from the world, you must not bother them with adult problems and so I would not like for her to grow up thinking I resent her father. She doesn't need to bother herself with that.

However, and yes I know it is extremely immature on my end I know that but I cannot help but feeling like if I speak to him, then he's won! He needs to know that his stupidity is not something that can be brushed aside and that it is not ok and that I will not brush aside his nonsense. But I love my baby and I feel like I need to do what is best for her! So I am feeling like I need to call him and at least say Happy New Year but everytime I pick up the phone to call him, my heart starts beating super fast and my hands start to shake and so I don't bother.

Do you guys think its necessary to speak to him? Or it doesn't matter if I keep avoiding him or not?
2 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
Speek with him
It is the difference between your child having a healthy loving relashinship with her father.
If you don't he might feel alienated and might stop comming to see her.
I know breakups are hard my ex boyfriend used to punch me whenever I tried to talk to him but in the end we became friends.
Maybe you could be friends with your ex.
Good luck
Helpful - 0
973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi.  Well, I'm a firm believer that the best revenge is to be happy and healthy.  So speaking to him shows you 'don't' care about him anymore. . . and in my mind, THAT is more of a win than his thinking you are still hurt by him.  

If he is a big jerk, then treat him like you would a stranger.  YOu don't have to have small talk about HIS life but rather about your daughters and news in general (neutral subjects like the weather work fine).  

Good luck---  it is always hard when our ex is a rotten jerk yet we still have to deal with them due to kids!  But don't let him think you care enough about him to still be mad----  you've moved on and HE is in your past!!  Peace
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Relationships Community

Top Relationships Answerers
13167 tn?1327194124
Austin, TX
3060903 tn?1398565123
Other
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.