Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

Making this relationship work

I met a guy this weekend who made me laugh and we had a real connection.  He's a friend of a friend so I've seen him at my friend's parties before, but this time we really connected.  We were at a party but neither of us were really that drunk.  He started to kiss me and one thing led to another and we ended up going all the way.  He asked me before it happened how far away I lived from him and he said, "We'll make it happen."  I took that as he was really interested and wanted to pursue a relationship out of this.  We've been definitely keeping in touch everyday after, but I'm wondering if we went too far too soon.  I feel like an idiot because I usually don't go into a relationship this fast.  Any encouraging words?  Please no harsh comments; I'm already worried as is.  
7 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
I won't be harsh, but I am going to tell you what I believe is the truth. It happens sometimes we make mistakes (or what we believe are mistakes) and do something we regret. Will he call, I dont know, but I have known guys like him who are smooth talkers, and could say anything to get into a girls pants. That doesn't make you stupid, it happens sometimes. Did you get his phone number do you know where he lives or anything like that? If not I honestly would just chalk it up to a one night stand.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Yes I actually did get his number, I know where he lives and where he works and what his longterm goals are.  I can't believe that this happened, I'm totally regretting it because all my friends know about it, and although and his side, I'm sure his friends are commending him, my friends on the other hand, probabaly think I'm so loose.  Should I even try to make it work by calling him?  I feel like he should be doing the work of calling.  Damn, I think I just gave myself to a total jerk.
Helpful - 0
13167 tn?1327194124
What do  you mean should you try to make it work by calling him - you said in your first post you are definitely in touch every day.

Does that mean you're the one who keeps calling him and he doesn't call you?  I think I'd stop calling,  if I were you,  and see where this goes.
Helpful - 0
177641 tn?1189755837
The problem with going all the way too fast is that there is no foundation for a relationship in place. That's why this feels awkward - because although you went all the way together, you don't have a relationship (just a tentative friendship). And that's why you're feeling this negative anxiety - because you have almost no idea of how this guy will act now.

I think you're mistaking a fling for a relationship... and hence, the difference between men and women (to some extent). Guys often rush into a sexual encounter for sex. Girls often rush into a sexual encounter hoping that it means they're starting a relationship. Quite often there's a lot is mixed messages, and eventually hurt feelings. It rarely works out perfectly well.

You haven't done anything wrong. All you can do is wait and see what happens. If he's genuinely interested in pursuing a relationship with you, his interest will SHOW (thru calls, emails, wanting to know more about you, etc.). A relationship may form, it may not.

But if it doesn't work out, don't chalk it up as a failed relationship. And if your friends call you down, just say "We liked each other, but it would have been difficult to work anyway because he lives far away." Learn better for next time a guy who captures your interest comes along so you don't make the same mistakes.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Give it some time, let him make the first move, because the more you call he will think you are chasing him, and men ,I think like to do the chasing, if he does not call, chalk it up to life,,,,,,,lluck   jo
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I agree with the others and say let the guy contact you.  Make sure it's not just for booty calls though, if you want an actual relationship.  Just take things slow and see what happens.  Stop worrying about what your friends or anyone else thinks.  They have probably done stuff sexually themselves that they aren't telling you about.  Most of my friends are ho's so I know stuff about people that look like little miss perfects.   Nobody is perfect or always makes the best decisions, especially when we're attracted to someone and a little lonely and vulnerable.  Who's to say it was a mistake anyway?  Why, if I had a nickle for every time I.........
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I really appreciate all your comments, everyone.  I have come to the conclusion that I will let this one run its course.  If its meant to happen then it will, if not, then it was a decision I made at the time and I need to be okay with it and move on.  Again, thankyou all for your advice.
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Relationships Community

Top Relationships Answerers
13167 tn?1327194124
Austin, TX
3060903 tn?1398565123
Other
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.