I'm going to copy what I wrote on the question you asked on the other forum: Wow. Sweetie, that's a lot. Do you have kids with him? How long have you been together. Honestly, woman to woman, he sounds terribly unstable. And if this progresses, I'm not sure he would be safe to stay with. He's careening into dangerous territory from being irrationally jealous, trying to isolate you and not controlling his anger. Has he ever hit you?
I do not think anyone should have to stay in or be in a relationship where there is a safety issue or just living with someone that is unstable and not working on it fully. I would not be okay with this situation in my home.
I understand your resentment as well. This was YOUR mother. His emotions seem out of balance. He may be sad for sure, but his duty as your spouse is to comfort YOU at this great loss. This seems all about him. Would make me resentful too.
I totally agree that it's hard to deal with those we love having mental health problems but even worse when you are the target of it. That's not sustainable. We are not punching bags. We should not have to be in that position.
You must feel very alone right now. I'm sorry. Here to talk any time.
Here also is from a different website:
What Causes a Personality Change in Adults?
Sudden personality changes in adults involve many warning signs that loved ones may notice.
- Mental illness and issues like anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder and PTSD can cause personality changes in adults.
- Substance abuse can also change an adult personality. If drugs or alcohol interact with a mental illness or physical illness, it can make all problems worse.
- Physical illness can cause personality changes. Stroke, brain infection, other infection or injury, dementia, Alzheimer’s and even digestive disease or heart disease can cause personality changes.
I totally agree with Annie, and would urge you to make sure you take care you yourself and your kids.
If you haven't ever looked up the term gaslighting, you might want to do that. It's a form of emotional abuse and manipulation. I don't know if your husband is doing that, but it sounds like it.
There are several medical and psychological conditions that may be causing this, since it's a sudden change. Definitely rule out the physical first, then see if he'll get a good psych eval. Of course, if he won't, that's something you'll have to consider.
I wish you the best. :)
Hi royalbee, I wrote to you on the other forum you posted in! Here to chat any tie.
How old are your kids, and are they out of the house? What do they see of your husband and his behavior, and what do they think of it?
Have you spoken with his therapist and told him or her the list above (such as sending topless photos of you to strangers) so the therapist knows the full extent of what is happening? I don't think you necessarily need to know what his therapist has said to him, but do think you should (once, not constantly) tell the therapist what is going on, in case your husband is masking his irrational behavior. Some of what your husband is doing sounds almost dangerous.
Has he lately had a checkup from his regular doctor? His hormones might be going totally wackadoodle, and wouldn't that be great if such things could be helped medically?