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Avatar universal

My boyfriend and i are both sexually frustrated!!

OK my boyfriend and I have been dating now for a mont and some weeks.. we are both in our 30's he is 38 I'm 36 nota big age difference.. He has been alone for a long time but of course he is no virgin he has had his share in between ...So we are having a hard time being compatible during sex.. He is more aggressive but  not passionate. I have never had a problem like this before..He finds it hard to keep an erection even during a ******** grrrr... I have never had no problem with that either. He told me he has had plenty of **'s and maintained an erection with women who he wasn't even attracted to!!! So the question is ??Is this happening because he watches to much porn and his expectations are as of a porn.. Or because he has been alone for so long he has no emotional attachment or has been use to having no emotional attachment to anyone in the past 3 years??? He says he loves me and everything is great just this sex thing that is driving me insane!!!! IM a very passionate take my time kind of woman he isn't I feel like its a race I need at least 2 hours or more if possible ... Oh and I'm the oldest he has been with he is use to 20 year old girls who just I guess like to suck **** ..hey which is fine I do it to all the time ,But there is more to intimacy then just that!!! I have never encountered any issue like this before !!! SOMEONE PLEASE SHED SOME LIGHT!!!!!!!!
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973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi there.  I'm going to be dead honest.  He really doesn't sound like a good match for you.  You two seem incompatible sexually and maybe otherwise.  He's not had emotional attachments and may be trying now, but I see that as a red flag.  

I personally wouldn't spend your energy trying to make something work that you have these issues with within the first couple months together.  Accepting someone isn't a great match is the step to leaving them and working on finding someone who is.

That's my advice.  good luck
Helpful - 0
16843698 tn?1451888298
I just watched a movie last week that reminded me of this type of issue. A guy was watching porn frequently and it was causing him problems with maintaining and even getting erections during sex...due to porn. Maybe that could be the issue? My partner is usually quick and not sesual in the bedroom (not due to porn) but sadly I've gotten used to it. Sex and intimacy are important so I would address it with him..and maybe try watching porn together? Or maybe he needs to stop watching porn for a while.
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Avatar universal
Agree with SM.  

It's not going to work out.
Helpful - 0
13167 tn?1327194124
This story is so familiar.  Did you post here before but with a different name and now you can't access your old account?
Helpful - 0
3060903 tn?1398565123
he said he had no problem maintaining an erection with 20 year olds.
he watches a lot of porn.
he can't keep an erection with you.

three big red flags.

i'd be thinking out of there...
Helpful - 0
1029273 tn?1472231494
Does he drink, smoke, or take any medications daily? Any one of those can wreak havoc when it comes to ED... Another thing to consider is that he may be telling you he's never had this issue before, because he may not want to admit that this has been a past issue in other relationships for him... If you've tried speaking with him about your needs in the recent past, and nothing seems to be changing, then you should consider moving on soon...
Helpful - 0
3060903 tn?1398565123
i think this is due in large part to him watching porn, so it you stay, tell him porn is out,
maybe get him and you to talk to a therapist as well, to learn how to have a healthy life together
if you don't want to throw in the towel yet. that is..
Helpful - 0
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