Has he felt rejected by you too often,I am NOT saying that you must say Yes every time your husband asks for sex. But remember, it IS a risk for him to do so. If he has gotten the message from you, verbally or non-verbally, that he is unwanted, unwelcome, unclean, or a poor performer, why would he keep trying?
Your part: if you have issues with his hygiene, performance, or other behavior, talk about it at a time when he can hear you, apart from sex. Check your own heart for where you can be welcoming and affirming to him.
Remember, you cannot control your husband. A healthy marriage, including healthy sexuality, is a matter for both husband and wife to continually work on. He is completely responsible for his behavior.
from your message he feel like when he does hes hurting you so make him feel you and try it,you can also do hand job on him
So, do you two talk about this? Misunderstandings happen and communication can resolve that.