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My husband hasn't touched me in 5 years and I dont know what to do.

We've been married 34 years and had a normal sex life at least twice a month till 5 years ago. Sec became very painful to me after menopause we tried creams and lubes but it didnt help. I think he was afraid of hurting me so he just stopped. I don't understand how a man can go 5 years without sex. Personally I rarely miss it but I do terribly miss feeling wanted
2 Responses
20828057 tn?1526024508
Has he felt rejected by you too often,I am NOT saying that you must say Yes every time your husband asks for sex. But remember, it IS a risk for him to do so. If he has gotten the message from you, verbally or non-verbally, that he is unwanted, unwelcome, unclean, or a poor performer, why would he keep trying?
Your part: if you have issues with his hygiene, performance, or other behavior, talk about it at a time when he can hear you, apart from sex. Check your own heart for where you can be welcoming and affirming to him.
Remember, you cannot control your husband. A healthy marriage, including healthy sexuality, is a matter for both husband and wife to continually work on. He is completely responsible for his behavior.
from your message he feel like when he does hes hurting you so make him feel you and try it,you can also do hand job on him
1 Comments
I think your right we need to talk. It's a complicated issue because of the pain and the length of time we need to address it and take baby steps.
973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
So, do you two talk about this?  Misunderstandings happen and communication can resolve that.  
2 Comments
No we haven't talked about it in a long time. I need to get up the nerve to thanks.
You could try the hand-job route. Just snuggle up and go for it. It doesn't have to be all pain for you.
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