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Avatar universal

My kids come before any man

I am a 24 year old mother of two and one on the way. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years in September. When we got together in 2009 my son was almost 2. My sons father was in prison when I got with my now ex. My now 4year old has a very agressive mouth and I am working with him always putting him in his place. My now ex has a 16 year old sister that told my son that our house Is not his. This upset my son and he cried out. I'm guessing cause he doesnt know. So I say what are you crying for and he told me. I told him to go have a seat and what did u do he of course said nothing because he is 4. My ex then asked his sister what happened and and I did not really hear most of it other than my son told my exs son to shut up. I could not put the two toghether but my ex did not let me know what happened. So I left that at that.

Later on I said the kids don't need to get in the water looking by the weather. And especially my exs son. My ex proceeded to say everyone can't get in and not his son. I said no I did not say that. I said no one needs to get and especially your son cause of his asthma.

I then took offense to my ex not stepping in to find out about my son with his sister but come aggressive towards me. I said my son is four Noone should jus make him cry telling him this is not his house. My ex proceded to tell me no one is going to talk to his sister who is 16 any kind of way. I never said anything to his sister. I tried to figure out everything with him. Am I wrong for leaving. Due to the fact that I don't want anyone hurting my son when anyone can come to me an put me in my place.

I honestly think my son is not perfect but I have to stand up for him. And correct him when he is wrong. I am really kind of lost I love my kids and they come first. Am I wrong for leaving?
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973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Well, the statistics against relationships working in which you are trying to combine kids is pretty clear that it is very difficult.  And exactly because of situations that you have described here.  Different ideas of parenting, on different pages regarding your kids verses his and his kids verses yours, etc.  It's difficult to combine families like this and can be complicated.

It can be done though if both parties are willing to work together.  Doesn't sound like that is the case with this current boyfriend.  

I'd follow what you say in the title of this post and stick to that.  good luck
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Avatar universal
Thank you so very much. It hurts but I love my kids more.
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973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Well, your a good mama.  sometimes it can work out when a man and woman get together and have kids.  Don't give up hope. Sometimes it is best to just cut your losses and find someone that is more willing to work with you on things.  good luck
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I think you did the right thing, but you both are going to have to deal with each other with this new baby on the way  So, you will have to find a way to work through your differences in order to parent the baby on the way.  

It is difficult to blend a family....true, but it is NOTHING that is impossible.  In my opinion, it is just difficult raising children and having two parents AGREE on dealing with issues in regards to the children.  

Sometimes people just clash and don't get along regardless of whether they are trying to blend a family or not.  

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973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Baby.   Oh yeah.  Yes.  You are tied to this man forever.  Hopefully you will be able to work for the best interest for your shared child.  I still think that from the story you told, that the relationship with this man will be difficult.  Your communication seems to not be in sync and he reacts badly to you and you to him.  That makes it hard to get on the same page.  Maybe take a step back and approach it in a different way.  

If not to be a couple now which I just think sounds like there is a lot to overcome then to at least coparent your baby.  good luck
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