My online girlfriend wants to travel with me. I'm planning to propose by then.

[waitingforU07]

My online girlfriend wants to travel with me. I'm planning to propose by then. Is it a good idea?
I currently am in a relationship with a woman online on a website called A Foreign Affair. She’s currently living in Ukraine and I live in the United States. She’s planning on coming here for a month to take a trip around the country for vacation.

We’ve been dating for 3 years now and we’ve already met a couple of times in Ukraine. She thinks it’s about time she comes over here to visit me and spend some time touring around from state to state.

She’s been saving up quite an amount for this trip, and I could not be happier. This pushed me to make the final decision to propose. I want to make sure that I’ll be making the right move, I want to do it right.

I’m not much of a Romeo but I do feel like we’re ready to spend the rest of our lives together. I could not think of anyone else but this woman.

I want to plan my future with her and I’m sure we’ll both be happy together. My only problem now is how I would execute my proposal and if everything is a good idea. Would I need any necessary group of people like photographers, videographers, or planners?

Should I just bring her somewhere quiet and propose to her? I want everything to be perfect and romantic. Any advice and suggestions would be a huge help. Thanks so much in advance you guys! Can’t wait to hear from you folks!

[Nighthawk61]

It's important to have talked about some key items. ie. do you both want children? have a plan of whether this woman would work for a few years before planning a family. or want to have children quickly (depending on her age it might be necessary to plan a family quickly), can you support a family. You have to talk about the important stuff if you want to hurry a wedding. No doubt it's in your best interest to know these things. Many marriages in the States fail due to not having these things agreed to and planned out. I would hope that you read all there is to know about Ukraine Politics and History. Do you have your faith in common? Do you have the basics in common (things that you want to include in your relationship)? Are you both on board with each others lifestyle choices. Are you on board with helping her family to visit her, or have her visit her family? It will take 100% commitment to work together to have a marriage that lasts. I have very strong compassion for those that want to move to a new country and start a new life, especially if it is hard on them to stay in their own country. I believe that marrying someone from another culture can be incredibly exciting for both parties., if both parties are at the right time in their lives to make the types of commitments that one needs to be able to do. Adam and Eve didn't know each other very long, but they managed to populate the earth, (if you believe in that sort of thing).  I hope that you respect and understand how important it is for you to be able to give this woman all the support and encouragement to make a seamless transition in America. I wish you all the best. There are no guarantees of course, and meeting someone and dating them and doing as SM said, may indeed be a safer route to marriage, but it is not always possible. It is not always possible for a women to move to another country who may speak another language, get a visa, move and get settled, find a job, etc. all on her own. Sometimes you gotta just jump. I jumped into  a relationship without a long engagement and we've been loving each other now for almost 20 years.  Sure, it could have not worked out. It could have been a sad affair, BUT, we both knew what we wanted, a loving monogamous relationship, that would be conducive to raising our children with love. And that we've done. We were two good people that wanted to work together to get ahead. And that we've done. I worked for a few years immediately upon meeting my husband, I worked in the auto manufacturing plant that he had worked at since 17. I ruined my back, after about 4 years, BUT , i managed to be able to buy a nice house with my husband that is steadily growing equity for our kids when we're gone on to the next phase of life, the after life. It's ultimately up to you how you want to live your life. If you don't want this one to get away, make sure that you both set yourselves up for success together. Refuse to become part of the statistic that loses. Loses each other, loses faith, loses themselves. Be determined to love each other right. I wish you every success. I'd love to keep in touch and see how you're doing. Friends that support you marriage are important. Stay far away from anyone (and i'm not talking about SM lol she's got some GREAT advice) i'm talking about anyone that would insinuate in your relationship, or that would affect your relationship,  and take away from you both being fair and compassionate towards each other at all times and you'll be more likely to stand the test of time. Only make friends or allow "friends" to be in your life , if they completely respect your partner and your relationship. I've met a whole lot of incredible people that came here from other countries that are so motivated to have a forever commitment with a partner in the Great USA. Most are truly salt of the earth. I'm hoping that this girl is one like them. You're both in my thoughts and prayers. All the best to you both this season and in the New Year. I'm always here to talk if you'd like. Cheers

[specialmom]

So, here is the thing.  No.  I would say it is not time to propose to her.  Is that the only way she will move here?  She should come here on her own, get a job, start living here near you and you two then can see if this is REALLY a relationship.  Things online, over the phone and text is not the same as day in day out with someone.  Long distance relationships often have a false sense of reality.  You need reality before you know if you should be married to this woman.  And same for her.  So, be practical if you want a lasting relationship.  And that means living near each other and seeing what that is like before going to the next step.  Otherwise, it's like going from C in the alphabet to Z and skipping all the letters in between.  You miss a lot and you don't know the full picture.  good luck

[Nighthawk61]

Congratulations on your upcoming engagement and wedding. It sounds like you've found a special woman. I'm impressed that she's been saving for your trip, She' sounds like she will be a thoughtful accountable partner for you,.

I think it's a lovely idea to have a video camera to capture your entire trip , and future trips through out your life together. Maybe you could arrange to have a good friend get a table beside yours in a really nice restaurant, or where you choose to ask her to marry you in order to videotape your asking her to marry you.

I'm really happy for you both and wish you every happiness.

[Nighthawk61]

You could get yourselves a trip pod for shooting, and when the time is right, set it up to capture your asking her to marry you with an incredible back drop, maybe the Grand Canyon ? The ;possibilities are endless if you're taking a trip across the States. I couldn't think of a better way to start your lives together. Very smart planning to start out with the love of your life.