I'm sorry he reacted this way right before transfer. He sounds confused. You very well may want a baby more than him but it was a little late to say he didn't want to do it 2 days before. You'd already been through the process!! I hope he works it out within himself. That's a hard one. Are you married or how long have you been a couple?
Hm, well, he either suddenly woke up to the reality of what was happening, and spoke up honestly instead of just resenting the situation in his heart, which is admirable if a little bit late. Or, he really was never on board in the first place and just thought it wouldn't happen or hoped it wouldn't, and all your chatter about babies was just that thing you talk about and we would cross that bridge when we come to it if it ever happens. I don't think you were wrong to go ahead, you want a baby. But it's clear that as of now, he doesn't have a baby as a primary item in his life agenda.
If you do wind up pregs, he might step up as a dad, since he is responsible for making this one. But I don't see him stepping up as a life partner, even if you gave up this and spent that and froze this and moved to wherever and the nurse said whatever when he was there. Just because he knew all this didn't mean he asked you to do it. The situation has now thrown a spotlight on the difference between hanging out, playing house and having lots of fun sex, and seriously wanting to be a responsible adult. You might want to think that you telling him what you want and him not actively protesting meant he agreed, but if he had been equally fervent for a settled life and a child, he would have long ago pressed you to marry him, and he didn't.
I'm sorry. I hope you do get your baby.
THanks for reply, he made it quite clear he wasn't ready but was doing it for me. I made a sacrifice to leave the best salary I ever had, leave my family further away, and move countries to be with him, so I had made my sacrifice. So in relation to that I was well aware but just didn't think he'd get quite so angry about it, he's chilled a lot now though, since all of this... However when we have the scan next week and hopefully see a heartbeat etc well then I'm afraid it's all going to get on top of him again. He's not good facing things head on. I agree he wasn't ready at this stage of his life for a child but I don't really have a choice it's now or never. We could keep trying and see how we go but the chances are very small indeed. Then what if he is ready in a couple of years? We would prob have to use a donor egg and spend 1000s (which i know he wouldn't b keen on spending this sort of money on "chances"). This just seemed like the best opportunity for the best odds to make it happen.
I want him to be part of my life and hopefully if this pregnancy succeeds then the baby's life too. However if not then I know i have a very supportive family in my home country and am financially comfortable to raise a child. I'll try my hardest not to let that happen but he needs to I think finally take responsibility for his actions in this. I've empathised with him all I can and now I'm the one pregnant not able to tell any of his family here and be happy to share the news so far with them or himself (as he's not obvs happy).
Anyway thanks for ur thoughts on this appreciate ur input. :)