Aa
Im so sad
My husband and i have been married for almost 2 years now. I got pregnant back in january of 2015 but lost the baby a month later. Then i waited 6 months and got pregnant again and last the baby the month after AGAIN. It really hurts to see other women pregnant and i always imagine myself holding the baby and seeing it for the first time after its born, or finding out the gender, picking out the babies name, watching the baby grow, having a little family of my own. I cant wait. I want to get pregnant again byt my husband is against it. The first time i got pregnant, when i told him i saw the look on his face and he wasnt happy at all. We are both grown ups here, but he wasnt happy, he was like "i wish we waited, we dont have money for a baby". Its true we didnt have our lives together because we lived with his mom but i had a job and so did he but both part time. He could have used a condom, he could have talked to me about how he felt about having a baby before we had sex. He blames me for everything. The second time i got pregnant, it was planned, it was 6 months later, i got a better job and so did he. This time we were living at MY FAMILYS HOUSE, because his mom kicked me out and he didnt want us to be seperated. So i lost the baby and we were really upset, we both wanted a baby so bad. A few months later we moved into our own place. We furnished it, bought everything new and decided to wait on having kids only because we spent alot on the new place and new things for it. I understood and was okay with it. But now its been a year later and yeah we have alot of bills but there will always be bills to pay regardless whether you have a baby or not. I am tired of waiting. I feel like my husband comes up with a million excuses! His first excuse was we arent stable (no money, no good job, no place to live on our own) i was like okay, i was hurt but i understood. The second time he said no because his mom and i dont get along and its because she hates me for no reason, she kicked me out. She never lets me see my family, she always talks bad about me to my husband and tells everyone im a trouble maker. Anyways, now his excuse is that we have too many bills. I am tired of this. I want to be a mother so bad. I see all of these women that dont deserve to be mother because of how they neglect their kids, im a good person, i always help kids and take care of them and adore them, why cant i have a baby? My husband has kids from his ex and its like, you can have kids from her and not from me? Sometimes i feel like he hates me. Sometimes i want to leave him because i dont see us being together forever because of the way he treats me. I feel like he doesnt care and he is only with me to ruin my life. He should sut down and talk to me about what he feels or what he thinks that way i can understand. I hate assuming things, he never tells me anything. I am always the last to find out. Give me a good reason or just leave me alone. I am tired of this stress, nothing is worth it to me anymore. I just want to be happy. I am always sad because i feel like he was happier with his ex, i feel like he doesnt care about me anymore. Sometimes i think maybe god allowed me to have a miscarriage to protect me from having babies from him and then him mistreating me or whatever. I have so many thoughts roaming around in my head. I wish he would just sit and tell me what or why this is happeing. I deserve an answer. But he always snaps and blames me. So i distance myself from him then he comes running bavk, as soon as i let him in he does it again and again. I dont feel like i love him anymore.
Adding a baby to your marriage won't fix anything. You either need to leave him, or start working on your relationship. He has to be willing to work with you on it. Whether you decide to go to therapy or just read a book and work on marriage together, you need to be putting effort into your relationship before you get pregnant again. Or leave him and work towards your goals with someone else.
You deserve to be happy, but only you know what's going to be best.
You deserve to be happy, but only you know what's going to be best.
Hi, I'm not sure if you're a Christian. But you did mention God. I know this goes against what most people would say but I think it's important to remember that you made a commitment with your husband to love him and be there for him in good times and in bad. I know it's easy to point fingers and blame him for how you feel. It can't be easy for either of you to lose the lives of your unborn children, but see that is what you two are facing together, not separate. Try to open up to him about how you're feeling and maybe ask him how he feels without any judgement.
U deserve to be happy my dear, why stay if u feel u dnt love him anymore. Is this the kind of life u wish for yourself?
Leave him!!! Have your baby and be happy, I've raised a baby by myself it's not easy but worth it he is now 10 and we are expecting a girl in August, I will raise her on my own also
Let me begin by telling you that you deserve to be happy! I know what it's like to miscarrry, and it's awful. As hard as it is to understand why God would put you through that, there IS a reason.
If you are having trouble talking with your husband, maybe you could ask him what he thinks of marriage counseling. If you're unhappy, talk to him about it. If he's not ready to open up, that's fine, but if you can at least start a conversation then the ball is in his court and its up to him.
You are in my prayers!
If you are having trouble talking with your husband, maybe you could ask him what he thinks of marriage counseling. If you're unhappy, talk to him about it. If he's not ready to open up, that's fine, but if you can at least start a conversation then the ball is in his court and its up to him.
You are in my prayers!
hi in my opinion i think you deserve better than him...he is just ignoring you and in fact he doesn't want children from you ... its time to take a step for your happiness because his 2nd excuse for child was like meaningless and without any point....
Marriage counseling is one way to go, but i would be planning on leaving. It doesn't sound like he treats you well, and unless there is a lot of change on his part, i don't see you being happy. Maybe you need to talk to a therapist yourself, to be sure that you know exactly how to look for a mate that is open and communicative , healthy etc. So you don't make the mistake of going down the wrong road with the wrong guy again. Your priority is to build a family, so talk about this with a life coach, and move on so you can find the one that you don't have to change.
In my opinion, you need to pray to God about this, especially his mother's behavior towards you and about what you want for your relationship. He may be comfortable deep inside because he has kids of his own and is not in a hurry to get other but you need babies of your own. I don't think you are naive to think the way you do. Bills will always be there. Don't get babies with him unless you are comfortable that he will stand by you because it only gets worse if you have his babies and he is not talking to you or treating you as you would like him to. I pray things work out soon.
I had a miscarriage last year too. It was my first. It is a horrible feeling so I understand. I also understand that it is stressful to have a baby when you have bills but bills are always going to be there. You deserve to be happy. Marriage counseling sounds like an appropriate step.
Lastly I will tell you this. Te person you have next to you should be someone you are happy with, someone that supports you and bad and good times. Someone who will understand you and if you don't feel happy with that person then perhaps he isn't the right person to be with. When I had my miscarriage my husband cry with me and was super supportive throughout. Now we are pregnant again and we are both scare but happy. That is what a good partner is- someone you can trust blindly.
Lastly I will tell you this. Te person you have next to you should be someone you are happy with, someone that supports you and bad and good times. Someone who will understand you and if you don't feel happy with that person then perhaps he isn't the right person to be with. When I had my miscarriage my husband cry with me and was super supportive throughout. Now we are pregnant again and we are both scare but happy. That is what a good partner is- someone you can trust blindly.
I been down that road with my ex and left him he wasn't ready for things that I was ready for now we're both in a new relationship and happy I am married with 3 kids and 1 on the way my ex is engaged with no kids and he is also happy.
From my perspective, you seem very naive.
If your husband is worried about bills, you should listen.
A baby is a huge responsibility when it comes to money.
Huge.
And you can't be mad that he has kids by someone else and not you.
Your husband doesn't sound ready for more responsibility, and its wrong for you to try and force it upon him, or make him feel guilty for it.
If you are truly unhappy. I'd suggest leaving him and going to live with your parents.
It sounds to me like you just have a huge case of baby fever.
If your husband is worried about bills, you should listen.
A baby is a huge responsibility when it comes to money.
Huge.
And you can't be mad that he has kids by someone else and not you.
Your husband doesn't sound ready for more responsibility, and its wrong for you to try and force it upon him, or make him feel guilty for it.
If you are truly unhappy. I'd suggest leaving him and going to live with your parents.
It sounds to me like you just have a huge case of baby fever.
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