Aa
PLEASE HELP!!!!
Hi there, this is my first post, and i am a little cautious to post this on the net but anyway here goes.
first off i am 19 my partner is 17, i have been with here for just over 6 months now and have been living together for just over 4 months, we used to have sex at least 4 times a week, now we don't have it at all, i have asked her for it but she keeps saying "im over sex" to begin with i don't understand how any one could be over sex, any way i have reason to believe she is cheating on me, how can someone that wants sex every night go to not wanting it at all?
also she will not talk to me about anything or anyone for that matter, so i don't know what is going through her head if she will not open up to me, there's not really a relationship is there? something did happen in her childhood but she will not go into details.
We all have need right? one of my needs is a healthy sexual relationship, i give her everything she wants but she cant return the favor?
PLEASE HELP!! i really don't know what to do!
first off i am 19 my partner is 17, i have been with here for just over 6 months now and have been living together for just over 4 months, we used to have sex at least 4 times a week, now we don't have it at all, i have asked her for it but she keeps saying "im over sex" to begin with i don't understand how any one could be over sex, any way i have reason to believe she is cheating on me, how can someone that wants sex every night go to not wanting it at all?
also she will not talk to me about anything or anyone for that matter, so i don't know what is going through her head if she will not open up to me, there's not really a relationship is there? something did happen in her childhood but she will not go into details.
We all have need right? one of my needs is a healthy sexual relationship, i give her everything she wants but she cant return the favor?
PLEASE HELP!! i really don't know what to do!
I am sorry that happened to you, and that she did that to you.! you had a sense that
that was going on...
I don't consider age differences an issue. My husband is 12 yrs. younger me
But we were late 30's and late 40's when we met...
a few yrs. older at your age is nothing.
But I still think she is too young to handle an honest healthy and sexual relationship.
It's not all about sex.
It seems to me you need someone more mature.
best wishes.
that was going on...
I don't consider age differences an issue. My husband is 12 yrs. younger me
But we were late 30's and late 40's when we met...
a few yrs. older at your age is nothing.
But I still think she is too young to handle an honest healthy and sexual relationship.
It's not all about sex.
It seems to me you need someone more mature.
best wishes.
hey everyone, thanks for your help and support..
i have finally built up the guts to say its over. and i found out 5 mins after braking it off, that she is with a another guy... and for those who thought my age was an issue, she is not with a 26 year old.
thanks again
i have finally built up the guts to say its over. and i found out 5 mins after braking it off, that she is with a another guy... and for those who thought my age was an issue, she is not with a 26 year old.
thanks again
, she may be depressed as others have already said. and she may have a very low sex drive, which doesn't take much depression to kill.
she is very young, and it sounds like she has alot to figure out about herself, let alone trying to have a mature and sexual relationship. I would back it down a few notches, to dating her. It doesn't sound like she is ready for this deep of a relationship.
It sounds like the cart is too far before the horse here... she needs nurturing of her heart and mind first. , and to grow up out of being a little girl...she is a very young for this much sexual relationship responsibility.
Sorry if this upsets you to hear.
Best wishes.
she is very young, and it sounds like she has alot to figure out about herself, let alone trying to have a mature and sexual relationship. I would back it down a few notches, to dating her. It doesn't sound like she is ready for this deep of a relationship.
It sounds like the cart is too far before the horse here... she needs nurturing of her heart and mind first. , and to grow up out of being a little girl...she is a very young for this much sexual relationship responsibility.
Sorry if this upsets you to hear.
Best wishes.
howdy!
i'm a 21 year old woman, dating a 32 year old man, I moved out of my parents house when i was 17. i moved out because i did not get along well with my mom and of course at 17.... i knew so much more then she did.
Don't worry about age. you know your girlfriend better then anyone in this forum. I am more mature then many of my boyfriends friends....
If i were you my first concern would not be that she is cheating, but rather is something wrong. i am not saying that she is not cheating i am only saying instead of assuming the worst why not try asking her is everything ok? at 17 you are normally still getting use to your "adult" body and if something is not right she may find it easier to cut sex out rather then deal with the problem. as GROSE said, it would be a mental (depression) issue.... but dont rule out physical.
The two of you NEED to be able to talk. i cannot stress that enough. this is the easy time in your life. are you going to be with a woman, marry her, have children with her... work out bills and mortgages with a woman you cannot communicate with? No, you wont. Maybe try explain to her that her behavior is confusing to you, and you are starting to be concerned. she should care enough to explain whats going on. over sex? not likely!
i'm thinking that there is absolutly a deeper problem. it could be something as simple as sex hurts, as it often does for young women who are sleeping with not so experienced partners.
i wish you the best of luck!
i'm a 21 year old woman, dating a 32 year old man, I moved out of my parents house when i was 17. i moved out because i did not get along well with my mom and of course at 17.... i knew so much more then she did.
Don't worry about age. you know your girlfriend better then anyone in this forum. I am more mature then many of my boyfriends friends....
If i were you my first concern would not be that she is cheating, but rather is something wrong. i am not saying that she is not cheating i am only saying instead of assuming the worst why not try asking her is everything ok? at 17 you are normally still getting use to your "adult" body and if something is not right she may find it easier to cut sex out rather then deal with the problem. as GROSE said, it would be a mental (depression) issue.... but dont rule out physical.
The two of you NEED to be able to talk. i cannot stress that enough. this is the easy time in your life. are you going to be with a woman, marry her, have children with her... work out bills and mortgages with a woman you cannot communicate with? No, you wont. Maybe try explain to her that her behavior is confusing to you, and you are starting to be concerned. she should care enough to explain whats going on. over sex? not likely!
i'm thinking that there is absolutly a deeper problem. it could be something as simple as sex hurts, as it often does for young women who are sleeping with not so experienced partners.
i wish you the best of luck!
ROCKROSE- i can answer this over the forum, she has not cut herself off from family, and im not the sort of person to do things behind peoples backs, so her mother does know that she is staying with me, and she has spent time with me so she knows what sort of person i am.
GROSE- she may well be depressed i dont know as she will not talk to me
And the 2 year age gap has nothing to do with this, its know different from a 20 year old going out with a 30 year old.
The thing's that keep going through my head are - is she cheating, have i done something wrong, i dont know because i can get her to talk! How can i get her to open up to me??
And no way do i want to be sexless im only 19 and i should well i would like to think that i could have a healthy sexual relationship.
GROSE- she may well be depressed i dont know as she will not talk to me
And the 2 year age gap has nothing to do with this, its know different from a 20 year old going out with a 30 year old.
The thing's that keep going through my head are - is she cheating, have i done something wrong, i dont know because i can get her to talk! How can i get her to open up to me??
And no way do i want to be sexless im only 19 and i should well i would like to think that i could have a healthy sexual relationship.
Depression can play a huge role in someones sex drive, does she seem down lately?
You need to get to the bottom of this, I wouldn't accept "I am over sex" as an answer. I could understand if she wanted to have sex less often, like only a couple times a weeks as opposed to a couple times a day, that is normal in any relationship but it isn't normal to not desire sex at all. I agree with sammy, you don't want to stay in a sexless relationship at 19, you are in your sexual prime.
You need to get to the bottom of this, I wouldn't accept "I am over sex" as an answer. I could understand if she wanted to have sex less often, like only a couple times a weeks as opposed to a couple times a day, that is normal in any relationship but it isn't normal to not desire sex at all. I agree with sammy, you don't want to stay in a sexless relationship at 19, you are in your sexual prime.
I agree with GRose, this age gap doesn't seem at all inappropriate to me. And while 17 may be a bit on the young side to leave home, it's far from unusual, we don't know enough about her situation to judge and certainly not to condemn.
Sex often does reduce as a relationship matures - but this far in, with the partners this young, it doesn't seem normal. 17-year-olds should be voracious, not "over sex" already. And if she is really "over sex" then this is not someone you really want to be in a long-term relationship with - do you really want your sex life to be over at 19???
I've no idea what's going on here. Maybe she is seeing someone else. Maybe she used sex to get you to commit as a boyfriend so that she could move in with you because she wanted to get away from where she was living before.
Like you said yourself, if she won't talk to you then you have problems in your relationship. Communication is key - it's key to trust, it's key to intimacy, it's key to feeling like you are part of another person and they are part of you.
Sex often does reduce as a relationship matures - but this far in, with the partners this young, it doesn't seem normal. 17-year-olds should be voracious, not "over sex" already. And if she is really "over sex" then this is not someone you really want to be in a long-term relationship with - do you really want your sex life to be over at 19???
I've no idea what's going on here. Maybe she is seeing someone else. Maybe she used sex to get you to commit as a boyfriend so that she could move in with you because she wanted to get away from where she was living before.
Like you said yourself, if she won't talk to you then you have problems in your relationship. Communication is key - it's key to trust, it's key to intimacy, it's key to feeling like you are part of another person and they are part of you.
I really don't think the little 2 year difference is of importance here, let it go, you don't know her story.
rbm, country of origin aside, this is a teenage girl and you are a little bit older teenage boy.
Where are her parents? Why is she no longer living with them? You don't have to answer that on this forum, but rather, silently in your head.
Teenage girls are usually not very viable long term relationship candidates, especially if they have already cut themselves off from family ties.
Where are her parents? Why is she no longer living with them? You don't have to answer that on this forum, but rather, silently in your head.
Teenage girls are usually not very viable long term relationship candidates, especially if they have already cut themselves off from family ties.
From my U.S.A. point of view, she is too young to be living with someone and too young to be having sex. Maybe she just realized this.
Since you have no real proof of her being unfaithful to you, you can only try talking to her about it so you won't offend her. Be calm and firm. Hopefully she will open up to you and explain why she had such a drastic change. If she changes the way she is with you, perhaps you need to reconsider your relationship. She's fairly young and perhaps her interests are changing.
Why is a 17 year old girl not living with her family?
rbm, I don't know the calendar dates of your birthdays, but if you are more than 24 months older than she is, you can be charged with a felony in most states, and carry the stigma of sex offender.
I wouldn't place bets that a girl who is 17 and living with a boyfriend is a great catch, and a predictable person. "Jail bait" comes to mind.
rbm, I don't know the calendar dates of your birthdays, but if you are more than 24 months older than she is, you can be charged with a felony in most states, and carry the stigma of sex offender.
I wouldn't place bets that a girl who is 17 and living with a boyfriend is a great catch, and a predictable person. "Jail bait" comes to mind.
It sounds like your concerns are valid. If the two of you are living togethr, then she has an obligation to tell you why all of a sudden she wants nothing to do with sex. Do you feel like she was using sex to get you to do what she wanted? If she will not talk to you and explain, maybe you ought to think about what you are getting out of the relationship and move on.
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