Problems

[Sufferingme]

I have been just married for 10 months and living with my in laws since day 1. And I am not liking it, my mil is at home now, but expects me to wake up in the morning, cook for breakfast and lunch. I am not allowed to go up to my room after my day at work, all of us sit down in their bedroom to watch TV. She expects me to lay the table for dinner and clean up after all. She also very weirdly starts cooking only once I am back and in front of my husband. We can't go out for dinners because she is against all of this. I miss my parents, this has never been the case at home. I am going crazy at this house. I can't go out as in move out of the house because I am scared my husband will ask me to leave all by myself. What do I do?

[UnsureMS]

Living with someone's parents is truly never easy. My husband and me did that for 7 yrs. His mom wasn't as bad as your mil. But the situation was hard all the same. The best thing you can do is talk to your husband. If you dont learn to talk to your husband then your marriage will start to suffer from your unhappiness. This living arrangement could cause ya to fight in the future and that could lead to you losing him anyways. So it would be better to keep the situation from getting worse then allowing it to play its course.

I know this can be a sensitive subject, but come at it knowing that. Let him know you don't hate his parents but you feel overwhelmed with the arrangements. Also, there had to be a reason you two got married and dating life had to be different then this. Let him know you want that feeling back. If he loves you he will hear you out.

One more thing cause I know mine and my husband issue was money. If this is your case start saving up to move out. But also when talking to your husband let him know that he needs to talk to his mom. He needs to get her to understand that you and him need some time for each other. If your husband isn't willing to that can also cause future issues. Sobs and mothers have special bonds, but those sons need to realize what their vows meant when they get married. My husband luckily for me did help me with his mom. When she realized what I meant to him she backed off a little.

May God be with you and good luck.

[specialmom]

I am not sure where you live and if this is the culture.  Where I'm from, this would be unacceptable.  I would not tolerate being treated like a child and living my adult life under the rules and dictatorship of another family.  You can't do this.  while you are afraid your husband may tell you to go on your own, better to know now if he will be with you or not in the future because this can't go on.  I'd rather start over on my own than live like a girl when I'm a woman.  

So, you really have to consider longevity here.  This can't last like this sweetie.  I'm sorry as it sounds like you love your husband.  You tried this life and it's not working.  He can't fault you for that.  peace

[Londres70]

"I can't go out as in move out of the house because I am scared my husband will ask me to leave all by myself. What do I do?".................Did you and your husband agree before getting married about the living arrangements?  Were you both planning on permanently living with the inlaws?  Did you agree to all of this in the beginning?

I am not sure if this is a cultural thing or not, however, if it's a situation that his family's happiness comes before you then you aren't going to be happy. You shouldn't be afraid to discuss your unhappiness with the living arrangements with your husband in fear he will ask you to leave by yourself.  If you are, then you will have a LONG road with this marriage.

If you say nothing you will be sacrificing your happiness and life is too short to be miserable and unhappy living under someone else's roof and living someone else's idea of how your life should be.  

Your choice............your life.

[p_cakesss]

Girl, move!!!

[Chima7]

If you're living in her house, unfortunately this is how it is. Married couples need their own space. It's not healthy to live with parents when you're married cause many fights can and do occur over house rules. You need to start making an escape plan. Save every penny so you and your husband can move into your own place. That's truly the only way this will get better. I don't believe there is much you can do or say to change her behavior so you'll have to find a way to move out.

[Life360_Dave]

Hi and sorry what your going through. It appears that youve given up all your freedom to grow, live life and be happy. Youve got to take control and if it means getting your own place, then do it.