Aa
Should one revert to a last resort of these types of websites?
Hey,
If you haven't dated or had any form of love/sexual compatibility in a LONG time (I'm talking years too), should one then revert to joining a website to obtain a sexual partner just for a "friends w/ benefits" type of relationship? What if you've tried SO many options to meet someone & simply speaking, it's just not happening? Would you ever go on one & is it a good idea? Just asking for friendly opinions.
Thank you!
If you haven't dated or had any form of love/sexual compatibility in a LONG time (I'm talking years too), should one then revert to joining a website to obtain a sexual partner just for a "friends w/ benefits" type of relationship? What if you've tried SO many options to meet someone & simply speaking, it's just not happening? Would you ever go on one & is it a good idea? Just asking for friendly opinions.
Thank you!
I am not doing anything anymore in relation to dating websites yet, I am on several other forums related to bands & hobbies. We'll see...I am not holding my breath though (in relation to finding love on the Internet).
As for other activities, we'll see. If anyone is interested in chatting on Facebook, let me know & we can talk. Who knows, maybe you'll have someone who you know will be good for me & vice versa. Cheers.
As for other activities, we'll see. If anyone is interested in chatting on Facebook, let me know & we can talk. Who knows, maybe you'll have someone who you know will be good for me & vice versa. Cheers.
I joined one of these sites (probably the biggest and best-known) for a few months. It never amounted to anything for me - I met up for a drink with one person from the site, we got on socially just fine but I don't think either of us seriously fancied the other (well, I didn't, and I didn't get much of an I-want-to-screw-you vibe off her), and I kind of realised I didn't want to do this anyway.
There are a lot of people on these sites who are not what they originally appear to be. I communicated for a couple of weeks with a woman, until eventually it turned out she was in Ghana and was basically hunting for a man who would pay for her to move to the UK.
I sent a fair number of messages introducing myself to women who were (or at least claimed to be) local and never heard back from them - but as I said, men way outnumber women so women can afford to be choosy, I guess plenty of them just didn't choose me and couldn't be bothered replying to the introductions they weren't interested in. I also wouldn't be surprised if some women joined, found themselves immediately inundated with messages, plenty from obvious losers, and just decided they didn't want to do this after all. Or they were never that serious about joining up and taking part when they signed up in the first place. Also, apparently, some prostitutes operate through these sites.
The best way of identifying who is a member, is local, and is serious about taking part and meeting people, is to join one of the forums. Hang around there, post a few messages to the random threads, and you'll get to see which members are regular contributors.
I have no doubt that plenty of (reasonably) normal, decent, open-minded people do hook up through these sites, some just for casual sex, maybe occasionally it does get more serious. I'm sure they can also be useful if you have a particular fetish and you want to find someone to share it with - after all, people with a fetish for, say, horse-hair knickers don't tend to go around wearing a baseball cap advertising the fact, and you'd have to bring the subject up with a lot of random potential lovers before you found someone who shared your fetish. But there will be a lot of sorting the wheat from the chaff.
There are a lot of people on these sites who are not what they originally appear to be. I communicated for a couple of weeks with a woman, until eventually it turned out she was in Ghana and was basically hunting for a man who would pay for her to move to the UK.
I sent a fair number of messages introducing myself to women who were (or at least claimed to be) local and never heard back from them - but as I said, men way outnumber women so women can afford to be choosy, I guess plenty of them just didn't choose me and couldn't be bothered replying to the introductions they weren't interested in. I also wouldn't be surprised if some women joined, found themselves immediately inundated with messages, plenty from obvious losers, and just decided they didn't want to do this after all. Or they were never that serious about joining up and taking part when they signed up in the first place. Also, apparently, some prostitutes operate through these sites.
The best way of identifying who is a member, is local, and is serious about taking part and meeting people, is to join one of the forums. Hang around there, post a few messages to the random threads, and you'll get to see which members are regular contributors.
I have no doubt that plenty of (reasonably) normal, decent, open-minded people do hook up through these sites, some just for casual sex, maybe occasionally it does get more serious. I'm sure they can also be useful if you have a particular fetish and you want to find someone to share it with - after all, people with a fetish for, say, horse-hair knickers don't tend to go around wearing a baseball cap advertising the fact, and you'd have to bring the subject up with a lot of random potential lovers before you found someone who shared your fetish. But there will be a lot of sorting the wheat from the chaff.
My friend met her husband online. She just got very lucky I guess. You have to be completely honest with people and hope they are honest as well. Try it out if you would like and see how you feel about it. Only you can determine if you like it or not.
I tried the dating sites when I was single. Nothing much ever came out of them and I lost faith in them. EVERY person I met looked absolutely nothing like their picture. Their pictures were either from 10 years ago, or they just so happened to be an extremely good pic of an ugly dude! LOL! I gave up on the sites and when I stopped looking was when my husband walked into my life.
I hope you find what you're looking for!
I hope you find what you're looking for!
Has anyone from this site ever been on one of these sites & if so, what were your experiences like?
These sites have a MUCH higher number of men than women. So, if you join, you can afford to be choosy. Be very careful about how you meet someone, keep it in a public place until you've met them a few times and got more of a feel for what they are like. Even then, you can never be sure what someone will be like when you are alone with them.
Bear in mind that the people on these sites (at least the genuine members, the ones who aren't scammers or time-wasters) are there specifically because they are after casual sex, not because they would rather have a serious relationship but can't find one. Set your expectations accordingly.
As iam1butterfly said, expect a good deal of rejection, even when you've got to the meeting in person stage. Don't take it personally, it's just part of the process.
Don't do this out of desparation. Only do it if it's what you are actually after.
Bear in mind that the people on these sites (at least the genuine members, the ones who aren't scammers or time-wasters) are there specifically because they are after casual sex, not because they would rather have a serious relationship but can't find one. Set your expectations accordingly.
As iam1butterfly said, expect a good deal of rejection, even when you've got to the meeting in person stage. Don't take it personally, it's just part of the process.
Don't do this out of desparation. Only do it if it's what you are actually after.
Try anything and see if it works but be careful and if you do go with anyone on these sites have a system in where someone knows who you are and is calling to check on you, and there is a signal if something is wrong. I was single for awhile and then I met my husband on myspace, so I would not totally rule the power of the internet.
I agree with RockRose...don't do this, you never know what type of men are on these websites preying on women who are vulnerable and searching for love in all the wrong places. Good Luck
twinkly - reading your other posts, my advice is don't do this.
It sounds by your description of yourself that you are exceptionally heavy - and if all you present yourself with on a dating site is a picture (or worse, no picture, and then the man is surprised) this is going to go horribly. You will attract only the worst kind of men and have the worst experiences getting somewhere private and naked with them. The worst thing is, you might not even survive it, honestly.
I know women who if you took a picture of them and that's all you had, they'd be considered markedly unattractive by society's standards. And yet, they have a loving circle of friends and great spouses. Because of their personalities and caring attitudes. If they put their pics on a dating sites, they'd only attract frightening men.
Don't do this.
If you've decided you don't want to lose weight, then just present yourself as you are socially, be positive, be fun, be interesting, offer support. You'll do better finding a boyfriend that way than with a picture.
It sounds by your description of yourself that you are exceptionally heavy - and if all you present yourself with on a dating site is a picture (or worse, no picture, and then the man is surprised) this is going to go horribly. You will attract only the worst kind of men and have the worst experiences getting somewhere private and naked with them. The worst thing is, you might not even survive it, honestly.
I know women who if you took a picture of them and that's all you had, they'd be considered markedly unattractive by society's standards. And yet, they have a loving circle of friends and great spouses. Because of their personalities and caring attitudes. If they put their pics on a dating sites, they'd only attract frightening men.
Don't do this.
If you've decided you don't want to lose weight, then just present yourself as you are socially, be positive, be fun, be interesting, offer support. You'll do better finding a boyfriend that way than with a picture.
I've tried a few dating sites... not for sex (although, I'm sure that you could get that
if you wanted it) but, out of curiosity and the hope of, maybe, finding meaningful male companionship.
As I mentioned in one of your many previous posts, if you can deal with the extraordinarily high rate of rejection (both giving and receiving), then, give it a shot.
Just be aware that if you are the hyper-sensitive sort and have a fragile ego, this form of rejection can be both unsettling and heartbreaking.
The coldness and shielded nature of the internet is a very awkward way of meeting a potential love interest, let alone... a potential lover as the initial contact and connection is made... sight unseen... with only blurry dated head shots to back vague descriptions. Give it a try if you must... but, if you do, go into it without high expectations.
if you wanted it) but, out of curiosity and the hope of, maybe, finding meaningful male companionship.
As I mentioned in one of your many previous posts, if you can deal with the extraordinarily high rate of rejection (both giving and receiving), then, give it a shot.
Just be aware that if you are the hyper-sensitive sort and have a fragile ego, this form of rejection can be both unsettling and heartbreaking.
The coldness and shielded nature of the internet is a very awkward way of meeting a potential love interest, let alone... a potential lover as the initial contact and connection is made... sight unseen... with only blurry dated head shots to back vague descriptions. Give it a try if you must... but, if you do, go into it without high expectations.
Hey,
Since I've been single (2004), I've paid & been on countless dates & websites. I resigned all of that last year b/c it was just too much w/ time, energy, failings, money & investment of that all.
Since I've been single (2004), I've paid & been on countless dates & websites. I resigned all of that last year b/c it was just too much w/ time, energy, failings, money & investment of that all.
I have been to those websites in the past just checking things out and nothing on those sites are worth it. Why not try a dating website?
What is it with all the questions?? Are you writing a book on relationships or something? =)
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Relationships Community
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
