bearhitch, i have to sacrifice my mornings by getting up very early w/ my baby (like 6 or 7am) and keep her busy all day.
i monitor the timing of her naps and i nap when she naps too or else i will be completely burned out by the evening.
if there's any shopping, errands, exercising, or visiting that i must do, i do it in the day and span it out over the entire week so it doesnt interfere w/ naptime.
i make both lunch and dinner in the afternoon so that all i do is heat up the meal for dinner time.
i shower in the afternoon too.
it's like doing everything in day to make the evenings more free and nimble. this allows me free time to sit around and lounge w/ my husband alone b/c my son will be busy watching t.v. or playing his video game by then and baby is dead tired by 7:30, 8:00 every night like clockwork. the rest of the night is ours.
p.s. i cant wait to go back to work when she's 1! kinda of tired of this myself
You really need to join some playgroups, Bear. Even if they only meet once a week for an hour, other social stuff comes out of that. Soon your son will be walking and you'll want to take him to petting zoos, gymboree, and stuff like that, and if you have a connected group of other moms to call and set up stuff nearly every day you'll feel MUCH better.
I am kind of lonely right now - my boys are teens. There has never been a time in my life, nor will there be again, where there were such intimate/bonded relationships with my friends. It was terrific.
Please don't spend your days in your house. Take a couple days to find groups, set up activities, and you will have the best friends you'll ever have in other young mothers.
Personally I don't understand why anyone would work if they didn't have too. If I could get my BF to support me completely, I would quit in a heartbeat. I've been working my whole adult life and I'm plain tired. I hate office politics, don't care about the baby showers or birthday lunches. Some of the "working moms"' at our office are the laziest workers I've ever seen. They use their kids as excuses for why they can't work late, or need a day off. There's doctor appt, or teacher conferences. The best are those school fund raisers where they sell cheap cr@p for 10X's the value. Then they complain when they don't get promoted or get raises like the rest of the folks.
The "childless" folks do work harder in my opinion b/c they CAN, they got time and energy and deserve more money and bigger bonuses b/c they work harder. Luckily the position I have now is pretty independent and I don't have to work with any moms or have limited interaction with them.
I do understand the need for communication with adults but can't you find it at gym or library book club? Or maybe just work part-time when the kids are at daycare.
I also wonder if the mom's are looking around at the people going to work and thinking that it looks like fun. Let me tell you, it's not. The grass is not greener on the other side. Working for most people is drudgery and if we didn't have to do, we wouldn't.
I am tired of keeping this in so thanks for letting me express my feelings. It felt good.
BearHitch, I stayed at home with my girls when they were little and became quite depressed. It was like the world was revolving around me and I wasn't a part of it. I did everything I wanted as a SAHM. I cooked, I cleaned, I took my girls to the park, read them stories and did fun activities with them. But I felt like I lost most of who I was as a person and I didn't like it. Once I started working, those feelings went away. I will tell you though, once your baby gets to be more talkative and walking and being able to carry on a conversation it does get a little better. For me it did. I just know myself though, and I know I could never be a full time stay at home mommy. I need my social time and my me time. That is my time at work! I'm glad to come home and appreciate my kids so much more when I'm not with them 24/7. Have you considered a part time job and daycare for just a few hours with a trusted friend or family member? Or maybe just part time child care, and you would be able to socialize with the daycare moms. Women need socialization and girlfriends. They need a social outlet. For me, staying at home just wasn't enough. I felt guilty, but I was much more appreciative of my time with them once I joined the workforce again. Good luck...I know how it feels.
Wow - I had no idea other moms felt this way at times too! I would never mention it to someone because I would be afraid they would think I was a bad mom, but maybe that is the problem... its not talked about! :) Thanks for the encouragement, gals, very appreciated! I found a moms group here locally and am trying to get in contact with the leader to find out when they meet.
I was only a stay at home mom for the first 2 months of my son's life and let me say, I was bored to tears. Occasionally, I would meet up with my fiance's sister who had her daughter 3 weeks before I had my son. But all in all, I was just so depressed because my fiance worked all the time. What I could recommend is possibly joining a baby gymboree or something along those lines. You could meet other mothers and make play dates. Maybe they can recommend sitters to you as well so you can get some alone time with your hubby. The Y is also a great idea.