The In laws . . .

Question

Do you get along with your in laws or your significant other's family?

specialmom · Answer

Every person has their own story and perspective and hopefully all are doing the best they can.  I have no doubt that someone like Nighthawk entered into her relationship with her in laws with a positive attitude and a desire to have a harmonious family.  Sadly, sometimes that isn't possible and it's your in law's loss nighthawk.  As I said, I do believe in self protection.  We need to understand that people have flaws and screw up and forgive them but if they have a pattern that is unrelenting, what can you do?  I always say though to stay open to those people changing and if they DO, be ready to re evaluate.  You never know . . .  

My own in laws were alive when I married but have since both passed away.  They were a bit of odd birds.  Tough parents and my husband shared many negative childhood memories.  But he loved them.  Whether they drove me a bit nuts or not or I was upset at things my husband told me he did in his youth, I tried to honor him (the husband) by accepting his parents in our lives on a regular basis.  They were not evil but rather just a bit difficult at times.  My mother in law and I ended up bonding in the end when we helped care for her during her cancer battle. My husband has several brothers and sisters.  Ha, some I adore and some I only tolerate at best.  Hopefully they don't know who is who as I try to keep the peace and not show how I feel.  But none do anything to me and include me as family . . .  so keeping the peace makes sense in my situation.  A specific sister in law makes a lot of highly rude comments but I really think she is unaware.  I just ignore her as it's not worth the battle of 'fixing' her.  ha ha.

Countrymorninggirl · Answer

Sorry to hear that Nighthawk. You're such a sweet person how could she not like you, her loss. That's awesome that you have a son who's respectful, good toward women, and well adjusted in life. That's a reflection of his mama, and of course, dad. Sounds like you guys did an awesome job of raising him, something to be very proud of. Happy for you!!

Nighthawk61 · Answer

When i first met my hubby's mom, apparently she said upon looking at me once and never having talked with her, is  "I don't think much of her". She had only seen me folding laundry on a summers day sitting on the steps. The only contact i had with the child's mother was via a phone call, when i asked her if there was any chance that she would consider working on her marriage (that i would leave her ex alone, they were separated for months at the time we met) and  the ex wife made it very clear screaming ,in front of her daughter, that she was " done with him , i could have him.." 

Early on, when his daughter visited the house, she was told by her grandmother and mother both, that " since her son/ex and I would not be having children together, (the child) doesn't have to have anything to do with me or my son and we are not part of the family".

So.. no , no relationship whatsoever. I feel for the kids. My son is very well adjusted and involved in the community, treats women very well, loves and respects this girl's dad. He would have looked after her, when we pass. It's very sad for the children when the adults are more concerned with gossip and judgment rather than child welfare. That's the way of it sometimes though, people forget to think about how their actions today, affect the future, and the future is all about our kids.

Countrymorninggirl · Answer

My husbands' dad died before we were married and I'm sure I would have loved him. Everything I've heard about him, says, he was a great person. His mother was still alive and I was able to spend time with her, she loved to go yard selling and so did I. The hubby and I would go stay the weekend with her, she would call us and say to her son, "I will cook you your favorite dinner if you guys come visit". ;) Well, of course, my husband couldn't turn that down. Lol, she was a great cook. Then after dinner, she would go through the newspaper and mark all the yard sales she wanted to hit. The 3 of us then, would get up at the crack of dawn and go yard selling. It was fun. I really love his whole family, they're not all perfect and neither is the hubby and me, for sure, we all have our problems at times. A family is important, so you need to forgive and move on from offenses. His 2 kids from his first marriage love me and call me Ma. Lol! Believe it or not between his 1st daughter and son we have 18 grandkids. It's a long story. Anyways, we have 2 children ourselves, the same as his first two, boy and a girl. Both our kids will be getting married next year. That means more grandchildren. Oh, Lord!! ;)

ZonnyC · Answer

Well, I didn't know my husband's father very long before he died and his mother had been dead for many years before we met and got married.  His father was very kind to me.  His sister is nothing but negative energy and simple-minded.  She seems to like me, but I don't really like her.  He doesn't really deal with his sister that much or his family.  We are so busy with our own lives and don't really interact with our families too often.  Plus, I am living in my husband's homeland and I don't have a lot of contact with my family.