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1540869 tn?1351214013

This is really embarassing but please help.

Ok to start off... My boyfriend has a friend and everytime I'm around his friend I get a very weird feeling and upset stomach. He has been friends with him for almost 2 years and my boyfriend is 23 and his friend is like 50 something. Now, maybe I'm just being paranoid, but to start off this guy found my boyfriend working at his old job "sams club" and he pulled him aside and told him about "piper plastics" which is his job. Well eventually my boyfriend got hired and now works there. The first thing that made me think this guy was odd is that he wanted to go get a massage with my boyfriend ok a MASSAGE. That just made me feel weird . So I told my boyfriend because he was pushy about going and when i told him I thought is was weird he got really defensive "which made it even weirder" he's been pushy about us going over there for dinner, about us living there, when me and my boyfriend got in a fight my boyfriend went over there and his friend got in the middle of our fight. Well now my boyfriend said his friend is being pushy about going grocery shopping with him at this new store? I live with him , shouldn't he grocery shop with me? Am I being paranoid or is this weird? My boyfriend doesn't have a cell phone... So I get all his friends txts when he txts my phone, last night at like 8pm wanting to go grocery shopping , he also wants to put my boyfriend on his phone plan?
10 Responses
13167 tn?1327194124
I would guess "grocery shopping" is code for something else.  (Don't know what,  could be anything,  guys don't grocery shop together for recreation).

I think you can rest assured there's more than friendship going on here.   How long have you known this guy?
Avatar universal
I agree with You, mandapanda928 - this does seem somewhat "weird".  But, that being said, I don't know what You can accomplish here if Your BoyFriend isn't seeing the same concerns You feel.  I would simply advise You to keep Your eyes wide open, be aware and beware, but for the FriendShip, well, that move will have to come from Your BoyFriend, otherwise, Your BoyFriend will end up resenting Your interference.  Of course, it's always Your decision if You want to remain in a relationship with Your BoyFriend if this is an issue between You and Him.
Good Luck, I hope this works out for You.
Avatar universal
P.S.
I just read the response from RockRose and I think She is being very perceptive to suggest "grocery shopping"  may be a code for something else??  

(RockRose, You think of EVERYTHING!!  I'm impressed (once again!!)
Avatar universal
This is truly weird and creepy.  
3060903 tn?1398565123
My 24 year old son is a musician and has many friends that are in their 50's, but none would ever be allowed to intrude on his relationship with is girlfriend. You need to set out your expectation, that you and he will be doing all of your shopping together.

It sounds like this guy is single and is expecting your boyfriend to act like he is single as well (misery loves company). Try not to push your husband into a defensive position, that's exactly what this guy probably wants.

How exactly did this guy involve himself in the middle of your fight?  Did your boyfriend share what this guy was saying about the fight?
Avatar universal
  You know that "weird feeling" and "upset stomach" you spoke of? That's your gut instincts telling you that he is a threat to your relationship for whatever reason still unknown to you. Always listen to this warning, 9 times out of 10 it is right.  
  Please follow up with us and good luck!
460185 tn?1326077772
You don't know me but I saw this post and agree that your instincts are probably correct.  Age isn't the issue - I have friends who are much older and/or younger than I am.  IMHO, the "friend" is not only a control freak but wants to separate you from you boyfriend.  Maybe he wants your boyfriend for himself.  Hope everything works out for you    = )



973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
It IS strange.  Yes.  But not so much that the other man is so interested in your boyfriend but that your boyfriend is going along with it.  What is HE getting out of it is a really good question to ask yourself (and maybe him--  although you won't get much of a true answer from him I suspect.)

I find your boyfriend's response to this man equally as creepy as the man's interest in him.  

See what I'm saying??  

good luck dear

480448 tn?1426948538
DITTO DITTO DITTO.  I agree with all of the above, especially SM and Rose.

I TOTALLY agree that your BF's seeming acceptance of this is NOT right, something is NOT right.  I tried to picture my husband in this scenario...it ended with me bailing my husband out of jail.  ;0)  LOL

Okay, not really...but my husband would NEVER tolerate this from another man.  Does this guy "have" something on your Bf maybe?  Or maybe he's blackmailing him in a way, since he got him his job?   He wants you guys to LIVE with him???  WHY?  Oh my.  They're either doing something shady together, or this guy is manipulating him, blackmailing him, bullying him.

I don't know, but I agree that your gut is right, something is very wrong here.  If I were you, I'd be asking your BF some straight up hard questions.

Sorry you're dealing with this.  Lots of luck, sweetie.
1540869 tn?1351214013
Thank you guys. I talked to my boyfriend about it today and he saud this guy "used" to be cool and nice , but now the way he is being is weird and pushy. I have found him a threat to our relationship and I told my boyfriend that. I just don't like this guy , don't trust him . I also feel he is in some way blackmailing because my boyfriend says he feels bad when he says no to him to hang out or whatever. I used to think this guy was maybe just sad and lonely , now he just reminds me of THE cable guy. Have you guys seen that movie with jim carrey? Lol ;y jk but serious yall
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