What can I do about my friend?

[Something_And_Something]

Recently me and my friend got into a argument because I was sending memes during a conversation she was having with another friend (it was a situation she was having with someone being manipulative) and she got mad at me and told me to **** off. I already felt uncomfortable around this friend a lot the time but I hadn’t said a anything so I discussed this with my best friend and she advised me to leave that relationship. I told her I no longer wanted to be friends and she got mad at me and basically made fun of me for being uncomfortable around her and being weirded out when she told me to **** off. A close friend of mine passed away and
I told all of them I would be taking a break because of this and the friend that I left sent a meme as a sort of pay back.I decided today I would play it off as some sort of prank that I wasn’t uncomfortable at all and I was fine but the friend that I left got mad yet again. They told me I was terrible for sending memes during a serious discussion she was having. The fiend she was talking to also agreed with her even though the friend I wanted to leave made a joke out of my friends death. I don’t know what to do I’m scared and I want to end my life. Please help me during this it’s much appreciated thank you. Stay safe.

[specialmom]

Hey, first, please know that we care.  Suicide is never the answer and I've made sure that the med help people knew about your post so they could send you some resources.  There are people to call if you ever have any serious intention of acting on self harm and I highly encourage you to do so.  Your safety is the number one thing I want to stress to you.  We don't know you nor can we solve your issues with your friend but we want you to be safe.  So, please reach out for help.

I don't know what the deal is with your friend.  She wasn't being sensitive to your recent loss and pain you feel or feelings in general.  Sometimes people are in their own bubble and not paying attention.  It's okay once in a while but if it is a pattern, I always tell my kids to surround themselves with quality relationships. That doesn't mean that they won't occasionally screw up, we're all human. But if it is a pattern of not taking your feelings into consideration, then you raise your bar of what is acceptable from those you are close to and find other people that make you feel better more consistently.  Does that make sense?  

[ppowb]

Teens can be quite unkind as they explore how to manage interpersonal relationships. That must be especially hurtful when a death is involved. Can you manage to spend less time on social media and more on healthful pastimes such as exercise? That might help with your suicidal thoughts. Does your community have a suicide help line? Best of luck!

[AnnieBrooke]

This was an online conversation, or you were texting when people were together in person?

I am so sorry that your close friend passed away. What are you scared of and why do you want to end your life?

[AnnieBrooke]

Here is why I'm asking. If you were all together and you had been sending a meme while people were all talking face to face about something they felt was serious, I could see that they might react poorly because they were thinking you weren't paying attention or being sympathetic.

If the conversation was online, and you posted a meme when they were trying to be serious, well, online conversations don't have the advantage of the other(s) hearing one's tone of voice and seeing one's facial features to help them understand the intention, so maybe you were misunderstood. Or, maybe you made a mistake, but it isn't worth thinking of ending your life, it was just a mistake. We all make them. You could have a one-on-one with that person and briefly apologize.

Retribution in the form of them sending you a meme seems  unneeded, and you were wise to let it go. It's worth ignoring, if you want the relationship with that friend to continue.

Even given this temporary storm, if you and the friend like each other, it seems like it should blow over in the end. Don't let fear of where it will go keep you from staying levelheaded; you can keep your feet on the ground and think of your long-term expectations for the friendship and that will help you figure out what to do.

Again, I am so sorry about the loss of your close friend, and am sorry the person made a joke about the friend's death. Sometimes people really don't know what to say, but joking is certainly in bad taste. I'm glad you told everyone you were going to take a break. Can you literally get out of it, like, take a walk in the sunshine (not texting or reading texts) and clear your head? That's the big recommendation coming out of all the lockdown advice, sometimes people just need to get outside and walk or garden and feel the sun.